


Wouldn't Trade It For The World

by SpongeGuy



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Because I LOVE HIM 3000, Because I'm weird, Canon, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Clute fluffy fun, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode references, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Innocence, Iron Man references, Just good things, Leo and Lyberti, Lincoln is a good big brother, Lincoln wants to be remembered, Lisa needs to be nicer, Lisa struggles to socialize, Lola and Lana are adorable!, Luna and Lincoln have a lovely bond, Luna and Sam really love each other, Luna has doubt, M/M, Many stories ahead, No Incest, No Sex, No Smut, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Ronniecoln soon, She also needs to let loose, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Silly, Slight Suna in Chapter 2, Slow Romance, Some crack ships at times, They're also really awkward, requests are open!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-04-07 22:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 59,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19094569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpongeGuy/pseuds/SpongeGuy
Summary: A collection of one shots about The Loud House. Fluff, humor, angst and happiness abound!Chapter 4: The Louds put up a circus to raise money for a present for their dad, but can Lincoln find an act in time? Requested by anonymous. Post credits scene sets up the future of this universe.





	1. Goodnight, Bro

It was nighttime in The Loud House, and Luna Loud was lying in her bed, at 3 o’clock in the morning, texting her sort of girlfriend Sam Sharp.

“I still can’t believe that they did that to you, Moon!”, Sam texted, still shocked and appalled at the behavior of Doug and Michelle, the judges of “America’s Next Hitmaker”.

Luna grimaced at the memory, but Sam’s concern made the pain go away.

“It’s ok, Sunny. I’m over it! Besides, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have learned to just be myself.”

Back in her house, Sam felt a wave of relief wash over her.

Luna being upset was something she just wouldn’t accept!

And not just because the mere thought of Luna sent her heart racing.

“That’s great to hear, Moon! I… I really liked your song, btw.”

A blushing emoji was attached to the text, but it didn’t even rival the blush Sam had on right now.

Luna smiled.

Her Sammie was like a huge ray of happiness and sunshine that melted all her concerns away, leaving her with nothing but a fluttering heart and butterfly kisses as she slowly floated on the waters of romantic content.

“Woah. What was that? I sound just like Lucy. Or, well, opposite Lucy from another dimension.”, Luna thought, weirded out by her cheesy monologue.

Still, it wasn’t like it wasn’t true.

Luna sent back a “Thanks, Sammie” text and bid her crush goodnight.

“Anyway, I gotta hit the hay, Sam. It’s really late, and I don’t want to wake Luan up if you make me laugh.”

Sam blushed.

“I make you laugh?”

“Uh, yeah! Your jokes are rocking, dude!”

“This girl is going to be the end of me.”, Sam thought, her face as red as a tomato.

“Thanks, Lunes. And it’s really nice of you to do that for Luan! You’re a great big sister!”

And with that, the conversation ended.

But for Luna, the night was just beginning.

“A great big sister?”, Luna contemplated as she sat back on her pillow and stared at the roof.

She frowned, doubt spreading inside of her.

Luna wasn’t sure that Sam was right.

Not that she was a bad big sister, but…

Was she a great one?

Lori, now there was a great big sister! Always looking out for everyone!

She was more of a “Hey guys, let’s party!” type sister, Luna thought.

Sure, she was fun, but great?

That was a bit of a stretch.

This made Luna feel a little bad.

She had always tried to be a good big sister, but now she wasn’t sure if she deserved the praise.

Luna shook her head.

“Come on, Luna! Chill! Since when are you worried about these things? You try your best to be a good big sister! There’s nothing to worry about!”

But Luna still felt odd as she gazed up at the roof of her room.

All she could hear was the soft beat of her heart (not a bad beat, she noted) and Luan’s muffled laughter from her sleep.

“A bear… Walks into a bar… And orders… And… The bartender… He says… “What do you want?”… And the Bear doesn’t say anything for a solid minute… And then he says “A beer”… And the Bartender says “Why the long pause?”… And the Bear… The Bear says “Because I’m a bear!”… Pause? Paws?... Get it?”

The jokester laughed quietly and went back to sleep.

“…5/10.” Luna thought. “Not bad for this time of night.”

Luna breathed slowly as she looked at the ceiling.

“Am I really a great big sister?”

The question echoed in her mind.

She had no examples of her being a bad one, but her mind just couldn’t come up with a good example either.

“Oh boy.”, she thought sadly.

“I’ve got a bad case of the doubts again.”

Luna was experiencing this feeling more and more frequently as time went on.

First with her music, but now with her family?

“Bogus.”, she thought, annoyed at her minds indecesiciveness at these things.

She sighed as she sat up.

She wasn’t going to sleep any time soon.

Might as well have a midnight snack to sooth the nerves.

 

 

There are many sounds that seem small in the morning, but at night, become loud and all powerful.

Like a bump in the night, that forewarns of a ghost, a demon, or perhaps a really clumsy sister who thought she could play soccer at night.

Or maybe a squeak in the rafters, that could be a mouse, a rat or a spooky sister who is writing some more melancholic poetry in the vents, and accidentally drops her pen.

But right now, Luna would have taken the bogeyman’s mother-in-law over the famously creaky Loud House stairs.

The steps looked daunting, as if she were descending into a pit of despair.

Luna gulped.

There had to be a way down that didn’t involve waking everyone up.

But Luna knew there wasn’t.

Believe her, she tried.

If a 4 year old junior Nobel Prize winning prodigy said so, then there was only one way down.

“Well…”, Luna thought, knowing there was no other option. “Here goes nothing…”

She took the first step.

A small creak, but nothing serious.

She shook like a plate of Jell-o (“Mmm, Jell-o. I better ask Dad about that”, she thought), as she nervously took the second step.

This time, there was no sound.

“Hey, maybe this isn’t as hard as I remember!”, Luna thought as she casually stepped on the third one.

CREAK!

Luna nearly got a heart attack from the sound, and looked back.

Shockingly, no door was opened (though Lincoln’s seemed strangely ajar. Probably forgot to close it properly).

Not wanting her brother to get a cold (it was getting mighty chilly in Royal Woods this time of year), Luna quietly snuck back to close his door.

She then approached the stairs again.

“It looks like there’s only one way down.”, she concluded, and she took a big breath.

And ran downstairs like a lunatic.

(Good one, SpongeGuy!)

(Luan! Back to sleep! Also, it was unintentional!)

(Ok, ok!)

Moving on.

Luna had just got away with it. Lynn Sr’s ear twitched for a second at the sound, but he drifted back to his slumber.

“Phew!”, Luna thought as she wiped the sweat off her brow.

She now grinned at the fridge in front of her.

“Bone appetite!”, she thought, and she withdrew a pudding cup from the fridge.

A simple fetch of a spoon later, and Luna was in pudding heaven.

Her eyes blinked dreamily as she savored the sweet gloop.

“Oh yeah… This is so good, I almost forgot why I felt bad in the first place!”, she thought.

As she finished the pudding cup, she took a gander at the living room.

There was the trophy case, shining with all its bestowed achievements.

There was the TV, which needed some dusting.

There was Lincoln, covered in a blanket, crazy look in his eyes, assembling a dresser.

There was Walt’s bird cage, Walt taking a nap.

“Sleep tight, birdie…”, Luna thought, lost in her pudding fueled thoughts…

“Wait!”, Luna shook herself awake and rubbed her eyes.

What was Lincoln doing up in such an hour?

Luna watched as Lincoln, his hands covered with band aids, tried to glue pieces of wood together in a meticulous fashion.

He had blueprints all over the place, tools scattered on the table and more juice boxes than one should have at this time of night.

Or, well, ever.

Lincoln, meanwhile, looked like a mess, mumbling to himself as he assembled the structure.

“Gotta put this piece with this… Then I gotta get some screws… Better get another band aid ready… Gotta be careful… Don’t want anyone to get suspicious…”

Luna was both weirded out and worried.

Her little bro looked exhausted and overworked.

He should be catching Z’s, not trying to build a dresser!

Luna quietly tried to catch his attention, hiding her voice from the others in the house, but not hiding the alarm and concern in her words.

“…Lincoln?”, she said.

Lincoln suddenly turned to greet his sister.

“Gotta go over the blueprints again, hey Luna, and then I…”

Lincoln then realized that Luna was right behind him.

He jumped a meter in the air, her presence startling him almost like an air horn had just been blared in his ears.

“Luna? What… What… What are you doing up?”, he asked, trying to be casual as he leaned on nothing and fell.

He got up and dusted his pyjamas, Luna still staring at him in concern and shock.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed? A… A growing girl needs her sleep!”, he said with a nervous smile, hoping his lame excuse would work.

Luna wasn’t buying what he was selling.

“Dude, I could say the same thing.”, she said, a loving smirk forming on her lips, before she reverted to Big Sister Mode.

“But bro, what are you doing up? What’s with all the wood? And how many juice boxes did you drink?”, she asked, picking an empty one up and giving it a once over.

“…A regular amount. A totally regular amount.”, Lincoln mumbled out, looking a little hyper, his eye twitching.

Luna cocked her eyebrow in doubt.

“…25…”

Luna looked worried, a small frown on her face.

“Lincoln, that’s way too much!”

Lincoln shook from the all the sugar.

“Too much… Or too much?”

Luna shook her head.

“Bro, you are clearly not ok. Come, tell your big sister all about it.”

“Not like it would make much of a difference”, she thought sadly.

Lincoln looked back to his blueprints, and then back to Luna, who smiled encouragingly despite herself.

He sighed.

“I guess I don’t have any choice.”

He separated himself from his work and planted himself on the couch, his eyes distant, as if he were looking into the future rather than the present.

Luna put her pudding cup down on the table, being careful so it won’t spill on any of Lincoln’s things, and she too sat down, putting her arm around Lincoln.

Lincoln was about to say something about how important this all was, but something about Luna’s soft, warm and loving touch, and the tiredness of his bones caused him to rest his head on her legs.

Luna smiled at the gesture and ran her fingers through his hair, caressing his head with soft, gentle strokes.

She flashbacked, and for a second, Lincoln was 5 years old again, so small, so defenseless, so adorable…

Not that he wasn’t now.

But for a moment, Lincoln was her baby bro again.

It felt magical.

But 11 year old Lincoln reappeared, and Luna knew she had to ask an important question.

“Bro… You gotta tell me. What were you doing? I mean, really! Why are you building a dresser at three in the morning?”

Lincoln hesitated.

“You’ll… You’ll laugh.”, he stammered out, fear and embarrassment in his voice.

Luna got a serious look on her face and grabbed hold of Lincoln by his shoulders.

Sure, she was doubting her role as a big sister, but this was more important than her fragile confidence.

This was her brother, her little brother, thinking she’d laugh at him.

“Bro… It’s true that we all mess around sometimes and bust each other’s chops… But there is no way I’m gonna laugh at you if it’s something important.”

She looked him in the eyes.

“This is clearly important. Please… Let me help you. I don’t want you to be sad.”

Lincoln’s hesitation melted away, and he looked up at his big sister.

Luna smiled encouragingly.

“I promise… I won’t laugh.”

Lincoln took a deep breath…

And he started to spill.

“Ok… I’ll tell you.”

He sat up and made himself more comfortable.

“Do you remember the woodshop project I had to do a while ago?”

Luna scratched her chin and tried to remember.

“Uh… Yeah, I think I do. I believe Mom tried to help you, and you sort of passed…”, she said, vaguely remembering the whole affair.

Lincoln shuddered, negative memories of the day flooding into him.

“Yeah… Anyway, so do you also remember that whole week where I tried to stop being predictable?”

Luna shook her head, smiling at the silliness of her brother.

“Yeah, that I remember! That was really silly, Lincoln! You really didn’t need to change yourself!”

Luna laughed.

“Hey, hey, do you remember that you dressed up like a horse?”

Lincoln, despite himself, chuckled softly.

“Yeah, that was… Pretty goofy.”

But there was something pressing on Lincoln’s heart and he had to say it.

“Anyway…”

Luna stopped laughing and refocused, desperate to help Lincoln.

Lincoln struggled with what he had to say, but he powered through.

“Do… Do you ever think about… Legacy, Luna?”, he asked, a twinge of fear in his tone.

Luna nodded, more than familiar with the subject.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do, bro.”

Lincoln looked down, feeling gloomy.

“Well… I’ve been… Thinking about that… And… Well…”

He sighed.

“I… I’m afraid.”

Luna’s eyes widened, her protective instincts kicking in.

“Afraid? Of what, little bro? Tell me, and I’ll deal with it right away!”, she said alarmed, and she stood up in a protective stance.

Luna was ready to get rid of the cause of Lincoln’s fear in an instant.

“It’s not something you can deal with.”, Lincoln informed, wishing it wasn’t true.

Lincoln turned to her, his eyes tearing up for a second.

“I’m afraid of being forgotten.”

Luna sat down and took that revelation in.

Lincoln began to explain.

“I mean, look at the others! Lori’s amazing at golf, Leni will be a great clothes designer, Luan is going to be a famous comedian, Lynn’s already a sports star, Lucy could be a famous poet, Lana’s a great mechanic, Lola’s a pageant queen, Lisa a child prodigy! Lily’s won awards for thumb sucking! And you’re going to have your name in headlights all over!”

Lincoln stood up and pretended to present Luna to an audience of thousands.

“Ladies and gentlemen… The Queen of Rock… The Master of Roll… And everything in between... The one… The only…”

He started to head bang and make rock horns with his fingers.

“LUNA LOUD!”

Luna shushed him, but she couldn’t help but smile softly at that showing of admiration.

Lincoln sat down.

“You’re going to be incredible!”

He then sank down in his seat, his mood deflated.

“But… Little old me? Who’s gonna remember Lincoln Loud?”

Luna frowned sadly, and her heart twisted in pain to hear Lincoln say that.

Lincoln looked at his hands.

“…I’m a nobody.”

Luna wanted to hold Lincoln, to hug him and tell him how special he is, and kiss his forehead again and again, and wipe his tears away.

But she wanted him to finish.

Lincoln wiped a tear and looked at the trophy case.

“But I don’t have to be.”

Luna felt a little less bad now.

“At least Lincoln wasn’t giving up”, she thought.

“So I want to develop my skills. I’m terrible at woodshop, but maybe, just maybe if I work at it, I can be good.”

He started getting a little excited as he picked up some blueprints.

“In two weeks, there’s a competition. I’m building a dresser, and if I’m lucky, well, who knows? Maybe it’ll win.”, he smiled as he showed Luna the plans.

As Lincoln went on to explain the intricacies of the design, Luna couldn’t help but smile proudly at him.

Her little bro was special.

She had to make him see that.

“And once I connect this piece to this…”

Luna put the plans down on the table and looked at Lincoln.

“Lincoln… I think this is all great. I’m sure you’ll succeed.”

Lincoln smiled back.

“But I don’t like to hear you say you’re not special. That is NOT right.”, Luna said, almost firmly.

Lincoln frowned.

“Luna, you think I would just say that if I didn’t mean it? It’s true! I have no talent! That’s why I’m working so hard! So people will remember me!”

He was getting a little too excited, his emotions rising up.

“Step 1 is this. There are so many left to do! And I can’t stop! I don’t have enough time! So I have to work at night too!”

Luna objected, getting annoyed.

“Lincoln! You’ll get hurt like this! You need to sleep!”

Lincoln turned away from her.

“I thought you’d understand! I can’t stand being the loser of the family anymore!”

Luna gasped.

“Lincoln! You are not a loser!”

Lincoln was close to tears now, his anger rising.

“Yes I am! I’m not anyone special! I’m just… Just…”

He let it all out, his eyes closed and his fists clenched.

“I’m just Lincoln Loud! Who cares about that?”

Suddenly, without warning, Luna embraced him with all her strength, her love surrounding him as she enveloped him with her whole soul.

While Lincoln was still reacting to the sudden hug, a surprised look on his face, Luna whispered into his ear, her voice filled with sadness and love.

“I do.”

Tears ran down her face as she left the hug and began to caress his face and wipe his tears.

“I care. I care about what a great guy you are. About how you care so much about everyone. How you think of others, even if takes you a little time to realize you were being selfish.”

Lincoln couldn’t help but chuckle for a moment at that.

Luna continued, smiling lovingly.

“I care… About your stubborn cow lick…”

She playfully ruffled his hair.

“I care… About your cute little nose…”

She booped it, causing Lincoln to laugh.

“Luna! Stop!”, he said, smiling at his sister.

Luna then got closer to him.

“And I care… About my little bro, who I love more than anything.”

She kissed his cheek and hugged him again.

She then looked him in the eyes.

“Now, Linky… I’m not saying that what you’re feeling is invalid. Trust me… I know.”

Lincoln looked surprised.

“You… You do?”, he asked.

Luna smiled.

“Come on, bro. You really forgot about “Lulu”?”

Lincoln couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh yeah! That was… Odd.”

He then frowned.

“But also sad. We didn’t like seeing you like that.”

Luna frowned, remembering the time with a pang of pain in her heart.

“Yeah… That really stunk. I hated it too. I wanted… I wanted to be famous so badly, to make something the whole world will love so much, that I allowed those jerks to take advantage of me. I nearly lost myself. But I learned something important that day. I learned to be me.”

She held Lincoln.

“Lincoln… I want the world to remember you. I want the world to remember me. But fame… It’s not more important than your happiness. You don’t have to be famous to be happy. I know people will remember you.”

She smiled at him.

“People… The right people… They’ll remember you for your kindness… And your sense of humor… And your big heart. Because you can do anything. And you will definitely find that talent.”

She sat back, but left her hand on his shoulder.

“And if it makes you feel any better… I promise to always remember you.”

Lincoln shed a tear but smiled.

“…Thanks, Luna. I… I really needed that.”

Luna smiled her old confident and reassuring grin.

“Anytime, bro. Anytime.”

The two siblings hugged once more.

“Now… How about some shuteye? You can always do it tomorrow. Maybe get Clyde, Liam, Zach, Rusty and Stella to help?”

Luna then put her arm around Lincoln.

“And while I might not be of much help, I will definitely try, if you want me to, that is.”

Lincoln smiled shyly.

“Well… You could play some motivational music.”

Luna grinned.

“Ah, I see! My little “Man With A Plan” needs some musical motivation?”

She ruffled his hair.

Lincoln smiled.

“It would be nice. It’s been a while since you played it.”

Luna took that to heart.

“I’ll try to play it more often.”

Lincoln smiled at her in gratitude.

“Thanks.”

“Anyway, you can ask for my help if you want it.”, Luna offered.

Luna then got a sly grin.

“Or maybeeeeee… You can ask Ronnie Anne?”, she cooed, laughing when Lincoln blushed.

“She’s not my girlfriend!”, he responded automatically.

Luna grinned.

“Funny. Didn’t say anything about that.”

Lincoln blushed even harder.

“I’m just messing with you Bro!”, Luna giggled.

Lincoln stammered.

“It’s not like I could bring her anyway.”

Luna chuckled.

“Lincoln, if you asked, Lori would drive NOW to get her here to help you. And not just because she wants you two together.”

She then thought that over.

“Well… Maybe mostly for that reason. But still.”

Lincoln laughed.

“Yep. That’s Lori for you.”

Luna stood up.

“So… You gonna get some sleep and prepare for tomorrow?” 

Lincoln got up, a cocky grin on his face now.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I need to prepare! I am the “Man With The Plan”, remember?”, he said, pointing at himself.

Luna grinned cockily back.

“Oh, that’s how it is? We’re getting cocky now, Bro? That’s how it is?”

Lincoln elbowed her in the side.

“Oh that’s how it is!”

Luna elbowed him back.

“Now THAT’S my little bro. Confident. Self assured. “The Man With A Plan”.”

She smiled proudly at him.

“Don’t you worry. Every little thing is gonna be all right.”

Lincoln turned to her with a smile.

“Bob Marley. Exodus. 1977.”

Luna whistled quietly, impressed.

“You remembered that? Awesome, bro!”

Lincoln complimented her back. “I learned from the best.”

Luna couldn’t help but smile at her little brother.

“Now, let’s get you to bed.”

 

 

A few moments later, Lincoln was in bed and Luna was going around the room making sure he had all he needed.

“Let’s see… You’ve got your pj’s, you’re tucked in…”

Just in case, Luna tucked him in a little more, accidentally covering Lincoln completely.

“Uh… Luna?”, Lincoln asked, his voice muffled.

“Whoops!”, Luna said, and she sheepishly removed the blanket from his mouth. “My bad, Lincoln.”

Lincoln nodded.

“It’s ok.”

Luna surveyed the room.

“I think that’s about it…”

Suddenly, she spotted Bun Bun lying on the desk.

“Oh! Almost forgot Bun Bun!”, she said, and she laid him gently next to Lincoln.

“Have some rad dreams, little bro.”, she wished, and she started to leave.

Lincoln was about to sleep, but…

He felt like he was going to have trouble sleeping.

He hesitated.

He really didn’t want to bother Luna, especially after all she had done for him that night.

But how was he gonna get sleep if he couldn’t?

He cleared his throat and caught her attention just before she left the room.

“…Luna?”, he called, almost like a small child.

Luna turned, surprised at the utterance of her name.

“Yeah, Linc?”

Lincoln looked a little embarrassed.

“What if… What if I can’t sleep?”

Luna yawned.

“I don’t know, bro. I’m… I’m pretty pooped myself. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Lincoln looked really concerned.

“I normally wouldn’t ask this, it’s just… It’s been pretty emotional and I think the juice is taking its toll…”

Suddenly, Lincolns face scrunched up, and he zoomed past Luna, accidentally dropping her to the ground as he dashed into the bathroom.

A few moments later…

“Ah! Sweet relief!”, Lincoln said as he crawled back into bed, Luna back on her feet, if a little dazed.

“Well, that problem is solved. But I’m still too awake.”

For once, “The Man With The Plan” was lost.

“Do you have any suggestions?”

Luna chuckled.

“What are the odds? Of all nights to ask me about this, is the night where I myself can’t sleep. Luan would probably love this.”

But Luna stopped seeing the funny side when she saw just how worried Lincoln was.

Luna furrowed her brow.

She really wanted to help Lincoln. He was going through a tough time, and getting him through this was her responsibility.

But she was just… Luna.

What could she possibly do?

It wasn’t like she had ever…

But suddenly, Lincoln’s pleading face looked very familiar.

Almost…

Almost like…

She’d seen it before.

And then, out of nowhere, she flashbacked.

6 Years ago…

Lynn Sr. and Rita Loud had had a long day.

Lori was still dealing with her awkward phase, and had needed much help with her braces.

Leni was still figuring out how to ride a bike.

Seeing the bike stuck in Mr. Grouse’s toilet, one could say it had not been a successful session.

Luan was trying some new puns, which had earned her the ire of some of the neighbors, who did not appreciate her venture into Ice puns (“Who hates ice puns?”, she had asked innocently. Lynn Sr. had answered with “Well, for one, most comic book fans”.)

Lynn was trying desperately to score a basket in basketball (she refused to believe that she was too short for the adult sized hoop).

Lucy was… Still disappearing at random times.

That was enough to give them heart attacks.

But somehow, all that was nothing compared to this:

“Mommy? Daddy? I… I can’t sleep.”

Lynn Sr. rubbed his eyes in frustration.

“Lincoln, I know it’s hard, son, but you can’t sleep with us.”

Rita chimed in.

“You have to learn how to do it so you can be a big boy.”

Lincoln protested.

“I am a big boy! But it’s hard for me to sleep. And Bun Bun is being VERY talkative about the new Ace Savvy special.”

Rita cocked an eyebrow.

“Is Bun Bun being talkative, or are you being talkative, young man?”

Lincoln shuffled at his feet.

“Well, he started it.”

Lynn Sr. chuckled.

“Oh, well. Who’s turn is it to help Lincoln go to sleep?”

All the sisters (even Lucy) shouted: “Luna!”

Luna, who was not yet the rocking girl we know, but instead a shy, timid girl still finding herself, left her room and went to Lincoln.

She too was tired of his failure to fall asleep, but she didn’t mind it too much.

She actually really liked hanging with her little brother, since he seemed to understand her.

God knows she didn’t understand herself.

The two usually got along great, but even Luna was tired of this.

“Lincoln, no offense, but you really have to stop doing this. We all need to sleep in our own beds.”, she said as she looked at him in his room.

Lincoln hid under the covers.

“But Luna! You guys get to sleep together! I sleep alone!”

Luna smiled playfully.

“That’s not true! You have Bun Bun!”

She then took Bun Bun and pretended to talk like him.

“Yeah, Linky! Don’t forget me!”

Lincoln laughed and Luna grinned.

Her brothers happiness was one of the few things she seemed capable of doing.

Lincoln was still upset though.

“But it’s really hard. I’m… I’m afraid. I’m not as strong or smart or cool as you guys. What if something happens to me? Who will protect me?”

Luna’s heart hurt after hearing that.

Sure, she was dog tired, but her baby brother needed her.

The least she could do was make him feel better.

She crawled into his bed and hugged him.

“First of all, you are special! No one is as sweet as you!”, she said, booping his nose, causing him to giggle.

She raised her finger.

“And secondly, we will all protect you! And right now, it’s my shift!”

She squeezed him.

“Don’t worry, little brother! I’ll help!”

But…

What could she do?

She didn’t have any talents.

She thought and she thought, and suddenly, it came to her.

She remembered that when she was young, she loved listening to lullabies. She never knew why, but their soft beat made her feel…

Rocking?

That felt right, for some reason.

Who knows?

Anyhow, she thought that maybe music could help.

And that’s when she remembered a song that came on the radio.

For some reason that seemed almost magical to Luna, she had a knack for remembering song titles, so it didn’t take long for Luna to find the lyrics on Lori’s phone.

“Don’t worry, Lincoln! Your big sister has a song for you!”, she said, and she began to sing.

Luna smiled happily at the memory, her soul warming from the moment.

She knew what to do.

She sat down next to Lincoln.

She smiled that proud, loving smile.

She began to hug him, and Lincoln settled into the hug, feeling all her warmth and love.

It was like all the years of love she had for him had left her heart and tucked him into bed.

She ruffled his hair…

She kissed his nose…

She took a deep breath…

“Don’t worry, Lincoln! Your big sister has a song for you!”

She opened her mouth…

And she began to sing.

“They didn't have you where I come from

Never knew the best was yet to come…”

She caressed his face.

“Life began when I saw your face

And I hear your laugh like a serenade…”

She felt his hands hold her tight.

“How long do you wanna be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you wanna be loved

Is forever enough

'Cause I'm never, never giving you up…”

She ran her hand through his white hair, and she gazed lovingly into his eyes, wondering how she could be so blessed.

She got into the bed for a second to hold him even closer.

“I slip in bed when you're asleep

To hold you close and feel your breath on me

Tomorrow there'll be so much to do

So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you…”

She slipped out.

Lincoln’s eyes had begun to droop, and he had a soft smile on his face.

“How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough 

'Cause I'm never, never giving you up…”

Luna began to back away slowly, while Lincoln closed his eyes.

“As you wander through this troubled world

In search of all things beautiful

You can close your eyes when you're miles away

And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough 

'Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you wanna be loved (how long do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved, do you wanna be loved)

Is forever enough 

'Cause I'm never, never giving you up

Is forever enough 

'Cause I'm never, never giving you up…”

Luna came back to kiss him on the head.

“You’re going to be incredible, bro. I just know it.”

She tip toed to the door, her bother already fast asleep, but dreaming wonderful dreams of tomorrow.

She began to close the door, and took one last look.

He was like an angel.

Luna remembered how much she loved him.

And she whispered, with all her heart…

“Goodnight, Bro. I… I love you. More than anything. Forever.”

Luna closed the door softly.

She went back to her room and got into bed, narrowly avoiding Luan with her foot.

As she began to drift off herself, she thought one last thing, that made her doubt finally go away.

“Huh…”, she smiled.

“Guess I am a pretty good big sister after all…” 

Post Credit Scene:

Lisa looked at Lola and Lana, annoyed at the interruption of her work.

“And may I venture forth a quarry that I shall surely regret?”

Lola and Lana nodded.

Lisa pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What in the name of Einstein do you want?”

Lola and Lana both smiled giddily.

“We’re playing an imagination game! Wanna play?”

Lisa sighed.

“As much as I would love to…”

“Liar.”, Lynn said as she passed.

Lisa stared at Lynn, annoyed.

“As I was saying, I am not interested. I have far more pressing matters to attend to. Besides, what’s so great about imagination?”

Lola and Lana gasped, their hands holding their cheeks.

“Lisa! You can do anything with…”

Lola and Lana both made a rainbow with their hands.

“Iiimaaagiiinaaationnnn!...”

Lisa stared at the rainbow.

“That was against all the laws of physics. Revolting.”

Lola continued, ignoring the statement.

“With… Iiiimaaagiiinationnnn… I can be whatever I want!”

She pretended to have a hook and an eye patch.

“A pirate! Arrgh!”

She pretended to hold a football.

“A football player! Hup!”

Lana chimed in.

“A 6 year old girl who loves mud!”

Lisa stared blankly at Lana.

“Lana, you already are a 6 year old girl who loves mud. Some would say too much.”

Lana beamed proudly.

“See? It’s fun!”


	2. Imagination 1, Science 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lola and Lana want to play an imaginary game with Lisa. Could she possibly have fun? May involve more Iron Man references than you'd expect.

“Ahh…”

A pleasant and relaxed sigh transmitted itself from inside the room of Lisa Loud, 4 year old genius and number 1 in the Loud House Headache sufferers chart (Lori, Lynn Sr. and Rita were close behind).

This time though, the pint sized prodigy was happy and calm, a soft, simple smile on her face as she did what she loves best: Research.

The soothing fluorescent green lighting she had installed today was working wonders: The room felt different, lacking its usual dramatic and foreboding atmosphere. Instead, it felt downright homely and inviting, the atmosphere more like a pharmacy or a waiting room than a mad scientists chambers.

…

The author does realize that no one really wants to go to a pharmacy or a waiting room, but given the choice, the health risks involved with going to a mad scientists chambers are off the…

“Ahem.”, Lisa interrupted the author calmly, hoping he’d remember the number 1 rule of her lab.

“…No tattling about your cameras?”

“No.”

“No pointing out the ethical immorality of your actions?”

“No.”

“No East Coast Rap?”

Lisa began to reply, when she blinked in confusion and she took out her ridiculously large rule book and paged through it.

It was rule number 3, but he was close.

“No, my annoying nuisance, Rule Number 1 is: Do not interrupt me while I am working!”, she suddenly shouted, before closing her eyes and taking some deep, cleansing breaths.

She sat down.

“Please leave me in peace. I am about to make a major breakthrough, and meta conversations will not help with said discovery.”, she calmly explained.

“Why are you in such a rush?”, the author asked.

Lisa rolled her eyes, hoping an explanation would satisfy the author.

“Well, if you really want to know, Lily is being given a bath by Luna and Mother, and afterwards she’s going with them to the grocery store.”

She clasped her hands in giddy excitement, the little girl behind the glasses revealing herself for just a moment.

“Hee hee! Finally! Some adequate research time! Some privacy from my family units! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! ”

She then straightened herself.

“Anyhow, this time should be sufficient enough for my next great invention: A towering, mechanical, humanoid mobile, manned robot!”, she announced proudly, straightening her glasses.

“…So a mecha?”, the narrator asked.

Lisa sighed wearily.

“Yes… A mecha.”

She closed her eyes and waved the author off.

“Now, please leave me be! I must return to my work!”

The author obliged, and Lisa, after a moment of preparation, went back to her work.

She looked at the blueprints and changed a variable here and a variable there, the light scratches of pencil on paper the only sounds she could detect with her ears.

She smiled, admiring her work.

A little bit more figuring out, and Lisa would have made a mecha at the tender age of 4!

If that didn’t prove to the scientific community that she was light years ahead of them, what would?

Lisa giggled excitedly, but just when she was about to figure out the programming, she could hear the all too familiar sound of her siblings talking.

“With a determined glare, The Princess lifts her bloody sword, rusty and sharp, and with one fell swoop…”

Lisa closes her eyes and breaths through her nose.

“Drown it out… Drown it out… Drown it out…”

The voices got louder.

“And then what?”

“Then, the princess stabs the dragon in the heart, the sword piercing through the tough outer exterior, blood and guts spewing out like crazy!”

Lisa started to squeeze a rubber ball.

“Drown it out, drown it out, drown it out!”

“Eww! Then what?”

“Then, the Princess removes the dragon’s heart, and EATS IT!”

The ball burst, and Lisa, officially ticked off, stormed out of her room and went into Lola and Lana’s room.

Lisa opened the door, ready to lecture her sibling units on the vital importance of shutting your trap, but Lola and Lana hadn’t even noticed, so busy were they in their pitch meeting.

To Lisa, the room looked the same as it always did: Pink. Cuddly. Disgusting.

But to Lola and Lana, the room was way bigger now.

White walls were clean and well kept, a ceiling fan spun on and on slowly but surely, not supplying enough in the war against the heat.

A brown meeting table was covered with script pages, wads of cash with Lola’s face on them, cigar ash trays (not that they would ever smoke, but they felt that it added a gritty, realistic touch) and an unsure Lola, now adorned in a glorious pink suit and tie, a pair of spectacles adorned on her attentive face as she listened to Lana.

Head resting on her palms, Lola Loud knew that their usual imaginary game needed a refreshing twist to the formula, so she had tasked fellow writer Lana to come up with some pitches.

That may have been a mistake, she gravely admitted to herself, pouring a.. Fifth? Seventh? Twenty Fifth? Cup of Coffee.

She sipped it, her eyes closed, savoring the java.

“Oh, yeah. That’s some good joe.”, she thought, and she looked up at Lana, who was finishing up.

Standing in a ruffled suit and tie, her hair all over the place, her glasses badly placed on her head, her face covered with sweat beads, Lana Loud, co-writer of “The Imaginary Game Lola and Lana Play”, stood in the room, panting for air after a vigorous display of her pitch.

Her eyes darted nervously to the final image on her slideshow, depicting an incredibly muscular Lola with a princess crown and outfit, standing over a mountain of dead bodies, shouting out “Saikou ni High haitte! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

Lola looked from the picture to Lana.

She took a deep breath and stood up, her hands on the desk.

“So… What do you think?”, Lana asked, hopeful and nervous, tugging at her collar.

“I…”

Lola considered her words.

“I just don’t think this is the right direction for the franchise.”

Lana sighed and trashed the drawing.

“Lola!”

The two went back to reality.

Lana threw her arms up in the air.

“That’s the third pitch you’ve rejected! And I still think that wrestling would have worked!”, Lana said, disappointed that she couldn’t enter to a heavy metal music video and fight Lola in a ring.

She crossed her arms, shooting an annoyed look at her twin sister.

Lola looked apologetic for once, clearly wanting to get the game going too.

“I’m sorry, Lana. I just really want to shake up the formula, you know? We always do the same game. I just want to try something… Different.”

Lana stopped crossing her arms and smiled.

“I know, Lola. But I really want to get to destroying your castle!”

The two scratched their chins and paced around the room.

“Sister units?”

Lola and Lana turned to see Lisa look at them, annoyed.

“Oh, hey Lisa!”, Lana greeted.

“What’s up? Came to bask in my glory?”, Lola asked, posing fabulously.

“Yeah, right…”, Lana commented, not quietly enough.

“What?!”, Lola shouted, and the two began to scuffle.

Lisa broke them up.

“Attention, please!”

The two stopped fighting and listened.

“I am in the middle of crucial work, research that could lead to earth shattering breakthroughs!”

Lola and Lana nodded.

“But, and this may come as a surprise to you, but I can’t focus.”

Lisa’s hands were on her hips, her look that of frustration.

“Do you know why?”

Lola and Lana thought.

“…Not… Us?”, they asked, batting their eyelashes cutely.

Lisa blew up.

“NO, IT IS YOU!”

She calmed down, and massaged her temples.

This was going to be another headache.

“Can you please be a little less uproarious?”, she asked, hoping that the twins would co-operate.

Lola and Lana, not wanting to incur Lisa’s anger, nodded again.

“No problem, Lisa!”, Lana said.

“We’ll be quiet.”, Lola added.

Lisa smiled.

“Thank you.”, she said.

She left the room, leaving Lola and Lana to continue to ponder how to fix their game.

“We could always get Lincoln…”, Lana said.

Lola sighed.

“We always get Lincoln! No offense to him, but he’s not different enough. We need something new! Something fresh! Something different!”

“Or maybe someone…”, Lana muttered to herself, her brow furrowed.

Lana suddenly got an idea.

An incandescent lightbulb appeared above her head.

Lana glared at the screen, and the lightbulb was replaced with an LED light.

“Better!”, she said.

She turned to Lola.

“Lola, I just got a great idea!

Lola looked at Lana pleadingly, holding on to her knees.

“Let me have it, Lana! I need something! Anything!”

Lana sighed and picked her up.

“Save the drama for your mama, Lola.”

Lola sighed.

“A princess saves her drama for everyone.”

Lana grabbed Lola.

“Lola, focus!”

Lola eyes turned huge.

“What we need is a third player who isn’t Lincoln, and is close to our age, and is right now very close…”

Lola’s mouth slowly turned into an understanding smile.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, Lana asked with a smile.

“I think I am thinking what you’re thinking, but I think we should tell each other what we’re thinking in order to avoid any potential awkwardness from not thinking the same thing. I think.”, Lola said.

The two talked at the same time.

“Lisa is totally different from you and me, she’s close to our age, AND she’s right next door! Literally!”

Lola cheered.

“You’re right, my dirty yet intelligent sister!”

Lana closed her eyes and proudly smirked.

“When am I not?”

Lola smiled sassily.

“Every other time but this.”

Lana glared at Lola, who laughed.

“But seriously, you are right! Lisa would be perfect!”

The twins hopped excitedly, happy with their breakthrough, but Lola suddenly stopped.

“Wait!, Lola said, Lana stopping in mid-air.

A moment passed.

“How are you doing that?”, Lola asked, confused yet impressed.

Lana looked down and fell onto the ground.

The two shrugged, and while Lana got up, Lola explained her problem.

“What will our test audience say? A new character isn’t always welcome…”, Lola said, worried.

“Well, let’s ask them!”, Lana said, and the two looked at what seemed to be the screen.

“What do you think? Would Lisa be a good addition to the cast?”, they asked, smiling sweetly, hoping it would gurantee a positive answer.

Clyde, who was sitting there the entire time, considered the idea.

Finally, he made up his mind.

“Sounds good to me! She could really add something to your dynamic!”, he said with a thumbs up.

Lola and Lana nodded at each other.

“Well, the crowd has spoken.”

Lola offered her arm to Lana, eyes closed, all curtious.

“Shall we, dearest sister?”

Lana offered hers, mimicking Lola’s actions.

“Oh, we shall!”

They joined arms, and after taking a step, they ran excitedly and burst through their door into Lisa’s room.

Lisa, who was enjoying the silence, dropped a beaker that shattered on the floor.

A shard of glass from the beaker flew out the window and burst a balloon being held by Lindesy Sweetwater.

Annoyed, Lindsey kicked a pebble, sending it flying into Principal Huggin’s golf cart.

The golf cart spun round and round like a record baby round and round until it smashed into Flips, sending it’s sign hurtling into the sky.

The sign fell on the chipser, the oil nearly flying into Leo’s face.

Terrified, Leo leapt into Lyberti’s arms, the girl stumbling backwards for a second from the surprise jump.

The two walked onto the road, a truck full of pies nearly hitting them.

The driver turned his car to the side and it flipped over a nail.

The pies inside the truck flew out.

Meanwhile, Rusty Spokes and Liam were standing in the middle of the road, Rusty looking at his watch impatiently.

“Gosh darn it, Rusty, I don’t get it. Why do you have to be here?”

Rusty sighed dramtically.

“Tis my duty, Liam.”

Liam scratched his chin.

“What do you mean?”

Suddenly, the pies smashed into Rusty’s face, covering his face with meraingue.

Liam, shocked, stammered in surprise.

“What? What? What?”

Rusty sighed wearily.

“Every Sunday…”

Lisa observed all this.

She looked at the screen.

“Well, that was incredibly unlikely.”

Lisa looked at Lola and Lana, annoyed at the interruption of her work.

“And may I venture forth a quarry that I shall surely regret?”

Lola and Lana nodded.

Lisa pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What in the name of Einstein do you want?”

Lola and Lana both smiled giddily.

“We’re playing an imagination game! Wanna play?”

Lisa sighed.

“As much as I would love to…”

“Liar.”, Lynn said as she passed.

Lisa stared at Lynn, annoyed.

“As I was saying, I am not interested. I have far more pressing matters to attend to. Besides, what’s so great about imagination?”

Lola and Lana gasped, their hands holding their cheeks.

“Lisa! You can do anything with…”

Lola and Lana both made a rainbow with their hands.

“Iiimaaagiiinaaationnnn!...”

Lisa stared at the rainbow.

“That was against all the laws of physics. Revolting.”

Lola continued, ignoring the statement.

“With… Iiiimaaagiiinationnnn… I can be whatever I want!”

She pretended to have a hook and an eye patch.

“A pirate! Arrgh!”

She pretended to hold a football.

“A football player! Hup!”

Lana chimed in.

“A 6 year old girl who loves mud!”

Lisa stared blankly at Lana.

“Lana, you already are a 6 year old girl who loves mud. Some would say too much.”

Lana beamed proudly.

“See? It’s fun!”

Lisa sighed and gave her siblings an irritated look.

“I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not.”, Lynn said, piping in again before returning to her room.

Once again, Lisa shot Lynn an annoyed look.

“Just… Leave me be.”, she told the twins.

Lola and Lana frowned, but begrudgingly accepted the answer.

“Ok…”, they said, clearly disappointed.

Lisa, not even noticing that she had disappointed her sisters, went back to her room, happy to get back to work.

The door closed with a thud, and Lola and Lana looked at each other with frowns.

“Should I get Lincoln?”, Lana asked.

“Yeah.”, Lola answered, bummed out from how the day had been going.

 

 

A few minutes later, Lisa was buried deep in her research, the pleasant hum of the room filling her with joy.

Finally, some peace and quiet!

She started to weld the metal together, wearing a face mask too big for her head as she went on with her task.

Sparks flew like spitfires in front of her eyes.

The parts began to join together.

It had its own kind of beauty, she thought.

Others may not see it, but, here she was, Lisa Loud, 4 years old, creating a giant robot!

Did Petey Wimple do that?

No! He was to freakin’ busy eating paste!

Lisa, feeling a little pumped, finished her welding, took off her face mask, strapped on her headphones and turned “Nuthin’ but a G Thang” on, shaking and busting moves like no man. Or little girl, in this case.

“It's like this and like that and like this and uh

It's like that and like this and like that and uh

It's like this and like that and like this and uh

Dre, creep to the mic like a phantom

Well I'm peepin', and I'm creepin', and I'm creep-in'

But I…”

But before Lisa could take this story up to a Teen rating, she was thankfully interrupted by a sound she was getting really sick of.

Talking.

“So, royal scientist, do you really think this robot will help defend me from the dragon?”

“A…Affirmative! This… Bofangled… Doohickey should be most… Splendiferous in the fight with the dragon who terrorizes this… deoxyribonucleic acid?”

Lisa would have much ratherd stay in her room, but everything about those last few sentences boiled her blood!

What the heck were those words?

And who was trying to sound like her?

Only she sounded like her!

Lisa, fuming, marched off to Lola and Lana’s room.

Not just interruptions to her work, but now fake science terms?

This was one diss of west coast rap away from turning into a complete affront to everything she loved!

She opened the door to find an odd and unwelcome sight that explained everything: Lola, in her princess costume, was sitting in a small, dinky chair as if it was some great throne. Lana was pretending to breath fire.

And Lincoln, her own brother Lincoln, who she had always considered one of the less intellectually challenged members of the family, was dressed up like her, stumbling over words that meant NOTHING!

All three louds looked back at Lisa, who shook with rage and irritation.

“Oh, hey, Lisa!”, Lincoln said cheerfully, not realizing he had SINNED BEYOND BELIEF!

“Hey, Lisa! What are you doing here?”, Lana asked, stopping her pretend attack on Lola’s castle and turning towards her sister with an innocent smile.

Lola too looked back at her sister with an innocent smile, not realizing just how much they had annoyed her.

Lisa, trying very hard not to lose her mind, choked out the following sentence:

“Pardon my intrusion into your inane pursuit of endorphins, but, if I may be so bold as to ask, WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS NIKOLA TESLA IS GOING ON?!”, Lisa screamed, causing Lincoln, Lola and Lana to cover their ears.

“Ow!”, Lincoln said.

“Jeez, Lisa, chill!”, Lana commented, her ears still ringing.

“Chill? CHILL? WHY WOULD I ‘CHILL’ WHEN YOU ARE MISUSING SCIENTIFIC TERMS?!”, she bellowed.

Lola and Lana smiled nervously.

“Does it really matter?…”

“YES IT DOES!”, Lisa shouted, and then, realizing she was overdoing it, calmed down.

A finger to her temple, she looked at Lincoln with a mixture of annoyance and disappointment.

“Elder brother unit, why are you disguised as me?”, she asked.

Lincoln smiled sheepishly.

“Lola and Lana REALLY wanted to play with you, but you said no, so I had to fill in… And that wasn’t easy, since I kept stumbling on all the big words…”

Lisa facepalmed.

“Those “big words” are nothing more than a haphazardly collected assortment of nonsensical terms!”, she replied.

“Well, not all of us are geniuses, Lisa! Except me, of course.”, Lola replied, waving her hair.

“In your dreams!”, Lana shot back.

“Which I would have if you stopped having so many animals in your bed! Who can sleep with all that ruckus?”, Lola growled.

“Me.”, Lana replied simply, and they started scuffling.

Lincoln jumped between them and separated them with his hands.

“Guys, come on! Don’t be like this!”

Lola and Lana sighed.

“Sorry.”, they both said at the same time.

Lincoln turned to Lisa.

“Look, Lisa, we’re sorry we interrupted your work. It doesn’t make it ok to shout like that, but we are sorry.”

Lisa hated to admit it, but he was right.

“Understood. I… I apologize for my abrupt manner.”  
Lincoln smiled in relief, happy to see the problem go away so soon.

“Why don’t you go back to your work, and the twins and I will go back to our game?”

Lisa was happy to see SOMEONE understand that she needed some work time.

“Thank you, elder brother.”, she said, and she walked off happily.

Lincoln went back to his place in the room.

“Come on, guys! Let’s finish that robot!

Lisa stopped.

“You’re building a robot?”, Lisa asked, her interest piqued.

Lola nodded.

“Yep!”

Lana chimed in.

“It’s going to try and stop me. It won’t work, of course, but the effort’s appreciated.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow, the scientist in her wanting to know more details.

“Well, that would depend. Not that dragons ever existed…”

Lola and Lana sighed.

“But it would take a truly impressive robot, one of great magnitude and awesome strength to be able to challenge a fire breathing giant lizard.”

Lisa smiled with her eyes closed.

“You surly have something like that.”

Lola excitedly replied “No! Even better!”

She presented the robot (or as Lisa saw it, absolutely nothing) with a big smile.

“It’s a little robot butler who makes tea and talks in rhymes!”

The tiny, pink automaton, wearing a classy bow and tie, with a huge top hat adorned on its head bowed down.

“More tea, your highness?  
To battle the dryness?”

Lola waved the robot off.

“No need to, J.E.E.V.E.S. The only thing that needs quenching is my thirst for vengeance against that wretched dragon!”

“I prefer awe inspiring and ruthless!”, Lana replied back.

Lisa sighed.

“Really?”

Lincoln, Lola and Lana looked at Lisa.

“Really what?”

Lisa stepper forwards and examined the… Air.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this”, she told the audience.

She looked at Lola.

“You’re the princess, right?”

Lola bowed daintily.

“Oh, I most certainly am.”

Lisa pointed at the dragon.

“That’s a dragon, right?”, she pointed at Lana, who was busy picking her nose.

“Yep!”, Lana answered.

Lisa pointed at Lincoln.

“And you’re supposed to be me?”, she asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Yep.”, Lincoln replied.

Lisa glared at him.

“Dear brother, what makes you think that a dainty little robot stands a chance against a dragon?”

Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, Lola really wanted a robot that could serve tea…”

“And what’s it going to do when the dragon attacks? Offer it MUFFINS?!”, she asked, her hands up in the air.

Lola handed Lana the muffins, and Lana quickly scarfed them down, the two not wanting to annoy Lisa again.

Lisa pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Look, I don’t want to play with you, but come on! You’re all smarter than this!”

Lana smiled at Lincoln.

“She thinks we’re smart?”

Lincoln smiled back.

“Sort of, yes.”

Lana held his hand.

“Feels nice.”

Lincoln nodded.

“It does.”

Lisa started pacing the room.

“As a woman of science, I can’t let this stand! There must be some form of logic to this game!”

Lola smiled.

“But Lisa! That’s the fun!”

Lisa shook her head.

“I don’t get it.”

Lana tried to explain.

“We pretend that things can happen! That way, we’re not limited to what we can do in reality!”

Lincoln joined in.

“For example, Lana isn’t really a dragon, but when she pretends to be one…”

He lifted her in the air and pretended that she was flying.

“She can fly!”

Lana giggled.

“Higher, Lincoln! Higher!”

Lincoln laughed and made her go higher.

He put her down, and Lola jumped up and down.

“My turn, Linky! My turn!”

While Lincoln held Lola up, Lisa scratched her chin.

It all sounded so…

Wrong.

Dubious.

Fake.

Ignoring the rules of reality for… Fun?

It didn’t feel right!

Yet, she didn’t like that a robot was being misused like this!

The princess… That is, Lola, clearly needed something more useful to beat the dragon… That is, Lana.

She nodded to herself.

Perhaps a thought experiment like this could prove fruitful for her mecha project, and, dare she say it…

It could be a little…

Fun.

And, she had to admit, it was a little flattering that the twins wanted to play with her so much that they got Lincoln to dress up as her.

Lisa looked at her three siblings and cleared her throat, but they were too busy pretending to fly.

She tried again. Nada.

She took out an air horn and it blared very loudly.

THAT stopped them.

“You have something against ears, Lisa?”, Lana asked.

Lisa looked at her siblings.

“Fellow siblings, I am prepared to withhold some of my precious time to… Partake in this activity.”

Lola and Lana grinned excitedly.

“Really?”, they asked.

Lisa nodded.

“I suppose it could make an interesting thought experiment: If dragons existed, what would stop them?”

She stepped into the room.

“All right. I’ll participate in your game.”

She turned to Lola.

“May I see the robot in question?”

Lola proudly shows off… Nothing.

Lisa shakes her head.

“I must say, I don’t see the point.”

Lincoln looked at Lisa.

“Lisa, you’re looking at it wrong.”

“Lincoln, there is literally nothing there!”

“That’s Lori’s saying, not yours.”, Lynn commented as she passed the room.

Lisa turned to her, annoyed.

“Are you just going to spend the entire day annoying me?”

Lynn smirked.

“I’m thinking about it.”

Lisa tried to ignore her.

“Anyway, Lincoln, I can’t see it. Why not just let me bring my mecha?”

Lola and Lana gasped.

“It is not in the spirit of imagination to do that, Lisa!”, Lola said with a harsh tone.

“Pretty weenie!”, Lana added.

Lisa groaned.

Lincoln put a supportive arm on Lisa’s shoulder.

“I think I get the problem: It’s all a little… Illogical to you, right?”

Lisa nodded, for a second looking like a 4 year old that didn’t really understand what was going on and less like the genius she held herself up to be.

Lincoln smiled softly.

“Well… Look at it this way: When you’re working on a project, what do you do?”

Lisa cupped her head in her hand.

“Well, first I figure out the logistics, and then I visualize it, and then I make some blueprints…”

Lisa suddenly gasped, and looked at Lincoln, who simply nodded.

“I know it isn’t easy, but it could be fun. You won’t know if you won’t try.”

Lisa nodded.

“A scientist should always try something new.”

She took a deep breath.

“I see what you mean, brother unit.”

Lisa closed her eyes and visualized the room.

It wasn’t easy, but she managed to see a pink castle with a magnificent throne room and a lavish princess perched on said throne.

She then imagined a taller version of herself, with a lab coat and a goatee…

“A goatee?”, Lola, Lana and Lincoln asked.

“Why not?”, she said.

The three others shrugged.

Lisa, now tall, with a lab coat and a goatee, inspected the tiny pink robot.

“I must say I feel a little nervous,

Do tell me, what is my purpose?”

“You have no purpose, I’m trashing you.”, Lisa replied.

“Oh my god…”, The robot said, his head hung low.

“Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”, Lisa said.

Lincoln wrote a note down.

“I better put a parental lock on that channel…”, Lincoln said to himself.

Lisa threw the note away.

“Focus, assistant Lincoln! We have a robot to build!”

Lincoln found himself in an assistant’s outfit.

“Yipee…”, he muttered to himself.

Lisa went to Lola, who looked forlorn.

“My kingdom is being ravaged and torn, o royal scientist! Tell me…”

Lola stopped and everything went back to normal.

“I’m sorry, I can’t focus, Lincoln, can you go back to your regular look?”

2 minutes later, Lincoln came back.

Lola clapped her hands for attention.

“Ok, everyone, focus! And a 1, and a 2, and a 3, and..”

The scenario came back.

“O royal scientist! Tell me what can we do?”

Lisa rested her head on her arms like Gendo Ikari from “Neon Genesis Evangellion”.

“What we can do? Why, we must build something to protect us from the savage beast.”

A terrible dragon stomped all over the villages, her fire breath setting ablaze all that stood before her.

No one knew what was scarier: Her unstoppable might, or the badly cropped image of Lana on her head.

Lola pointed out the window.

“Well, duh! I know that we have to build something! But what?”

Lisa paced the room.

“A mecha would be my go to plan!”

Lincoln interjected.

“But, o sagest of wise men, a mecha may be too complicated for our majesty!”

Lola glared at Lincoln.

“And not because she isn’t smart enough to do that!”

Lisa reconsidered.

A mecha had to be piloted by someone who truly knew what they were doing.

They didn’t have time for that!

They needed a quick but efficient fix, and fast!

She went over to Lola and calmed her down.

“My assistant may be right, a mecha might actually be too complicated. But fear not, your majesty! I shall come up with a solution!”

Lisa was starting to like this game.

She was able to be herself, yet, for some odd reason, it was fun to pretend that she had to get rid of a dragon.

Maybe she had misjudged the game.

Lisa began to draw up some plans.

“We need something more… Streamlined. Something that could be piloted by our princess that could also take on the dragon. Like a robotic version of herself…”

Lincoln suddenly came up with an idea.

“I know! We could make a metallic suit that she can fly in!”

Lisa turned to Lincoln with an intrigued face.

“Go on…”

Lola looked excited.

“Yeah, go on!”

Lana looked annoyed.

“Yeah, guys, go on! I’m want to fight Lola already! Whoops! I mean, rawr!”

Lincoln fetched out a familiar looking red and gold superhero figure.

“I saw this in a movie once! This genius guy built a suit in a cave with a box of scraps! And it worked!”

Lisa at first looked hesitant.

“I don’t know… The science is clearly preposterous… We’d need a ton of resources, and a ton of advancements we don’t even have now!”, she said, almost disgusted at the wrong science being used.

Lincoln, Lola and Lana all looked down sadly.

Lisa felt a bit bad.

Sure, it wasn’t real science, but…

She didn’t want to make her siblings feel bad.

And besides, it was a game.

Maybe…

Maybe she could loosen up.

Lisa smiled, as she decided to be more…

Fun.

“But I guess we could use our imaginations to make it possible…”

Lola and Lana squeezed Lisa with a hug.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”, they cheered, and Lisa smiled from the gesture, even if she normally didn’t like such close contact.

“Ok!”, she said, extracting herself from the hug.

“Let’s build a suit!”

A montage followed, showing Lisa, Lincoln and Lola assemble a suit with nothing but a box of scraps in a cave.

“Driving With The Top Down” by Rajmin Narwahly plays as they weld the metal pieces together.

 

“I need a welding fire.”, Lisa said.

“Here! Have this staff made from the magical oak of yingtongidleiposhire!”, Lincoln offered.

Lisa shrugged.

“Primitive, but it will have to do.”

They then built an arc reactor to power the suit.

“This sort of technology is very theoretical…”, Lisa said.

“We’ll need something to power it that’s easily obtained…”

“Love?”, Lincoln and Lola asked, with hearts in their eyes.

Lisa threw away her giant needle.

“I was going to say blood, but ok.”

Lincoln and Lola both shook nervously from that.

They even stopped for a random dance number.

“Celebrate good times, boi!”, Lisa said.

“This story better not get dated”, Lola whispered to Lincoln.

As they were finishing, Lincoln asked Lisa a question.

“How did we get into a cave?”

Lisa shook her head.

“Silly assistant, don’t you know that these are the caves used by the dwarves of forkingtonshire? They store their enchanted gems here so that no trolls or giants may track them.”

Lincoln smiled.

“I guess I forgot.”

Finally, the suit was ready.

Standing before them, with a pink coating, was a 6 year old sized humanoid metal suit, with a million weapons installed onto it.

Lola walked in, took her crown off, and got fitted into the suit.

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

Lisa smiled confidently.

“I know it will. My mind is too strong to allow this to fail. I’ll just imagine you winning, and we’ll be fine. Besides, this suit is perfect! You shall beat the dragon in no time.”

Lincoln patted Lola on the head.

“You can do it!”

He then pointed to Clyde, who had joined them just a minute ago, lumbering around in a black version of the suit.

“And besides, you’ll have backup if you need help.”

Suddenly, a TV broadcast reported of Lana the dragon waiting impatiently.

“Get in the gosh dang robot, Lola! I mean, rawr!”

She accidentally knocked over a teddy bear.

“Ooops.”

Lola got serious.

“Ok. Let’s do this.”

The suit fitted itself onto her, the face mask closing last.

Inside the suit, Lola received a ton of sensory input, a number of screens showing Lana popped up, and finally, Lisa’s voice could be heard inside her suit.

“Testing, testing. Lola, are you ready, your majesty?”

Lola gasped, impressed.

“How can I hear you like that?”

Lisa’s voice explained.

“I installed a part of my consciousness into the suit as an A.I. You can call me L.I.S.A.”

Lola looked confused.

“What does it stand for?”

Lisa grinned.

“Who cares? I just really wanted it to have my name!”

Real Lisa jumped up and down.

“Now go and kick some dragon gluteus maximus!”

Lola’s suit flew out and entered the castle’s drawbridge.

Clyde stepped over to Lincoln.

“When do I fly out?”

Lincoln patted his back.

“Let Lola have the first turn.”

Clyde smiled weakly.

“Ok, sure, buddy.”

He looked at the suit he was inside right now.

“…Next time, baby!”

As royal subjects ran around screaming, Lana the dragon continued to trash the place.

“Ha! Ha! Ha! This disgusting pink room is mine! From now on, there will only be mud and bugs! Who can possibly stop me?”

Suddenly, a loud hitting sound was heard, and the castle’s drawbridge shuddered with movement.

Lana gulped.

Another loud hit could be heard as splinters of wood lew out.

Lisa rubbed her hands with glee.

“This… Is going to be so cool!”

Lana, tired of waiting, let out a breath of fire that nearly burned the drawbridge down.

Suddenly, the drawbridge was kicked open, the doors flew out to the open, and, to the tune of “Shoot To Thrill”, Lola in what was clearly an Iron Man suit, stepped out.

“My turn!”, she said with a malicious grin.

“…Uh oh.”, Lana the Dragon said.

Lola shot out a missile, but Lana swallowed it. Lana lunged at Lola, who dodged and shot a photon blast, which narrowly missed.

Lisa, Lincoln and Clyde tried to motivate Lola.

“Use your karate chop action!”

Pressing a button on the side of the armor, Lola’s metal arm made a karate motion that whacked Lana.

Lana growled, unleashed her massive talons and jumped on Lola, the two tumbling down a hill.

Lisa gasped.

“Assistant! We have to help the princess!”

Lincoln nodded.

“Right!”

The two ran out to help Lola.

The dragon hit the princess in the reactor, back handed her face and tripped her with her tail.

She pinned her to the ground and ripped off her face mask, showing an annoyed Lola.

“How ironic, princess! You tried to protect your land, but you made it even worse! We’ve destroyed village after village! And once I make you burnt toast, the kingdom will be mine and…”

“And then what?”, Lola asked, curious.

Lana pondered.

“You know, I’m not really sure.”

“You could always make a petting zoo!”, Clyde, who had also left the room to spectate, suggested.

Everyone (even Lana) gave him a dirty look.

“Who’s side are you on?”

Clyde panicked and tried to defend himself.

“What? I’m still on your side, your highness! It was just a suggestion!”

Lana went back to her monologue.

“It’s over, princess! I have the high ground!”

Lola suddenly smirked.

“And I… Am… Princess Lola.”

She shot out a unibeam that fried off the dragon’s face.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

Soap bubbles spread themselves on her chin and she was soaked from head to toe, but Luna didn’t care. She was just happy spending time with Lily.

“The incy wincy spider ran up the water spout…”, she sang, letting her fingers walk on Lily’s arm.

The baby couldn’t help but giggle.

“Down came the rain and washed the spider out…”, Luna sang, dropping her fingers with a whoosh of water that made Lily laugh again.

Luna smiled brightly and continued.

“Out came the sun and dried up all the rain…”, she took brought her spider back up, as if he had woken up from the dead, prompting an “Ooh!” from Lily.

“And the Incy wincy spider climbed up the spout again!”, she finished, tickling Lily, who laughed and splashed in the water.

“Wuna! Wuna!”, she called.

“Yes, love?”, Luna asked with her British accent.

Lily grabbed her face and pecked her on the nose.

“Wuv! Wuv you!”, Lily said.

Luna’s heart melted and she hugged Lily.

Rita, who was seeing the whole thing, smiled warmly at Luna.

“Am I doing ok, Mom?”, Luna asked, hoping for a positive answer.

“You’re doing great, honey.”, Rita replied.

Luna smiled.

Back in the hallway…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, Lana the Dragon said, and with a thud, she died.

Lola got out of the suit, and got hugged by Lisa.

“You did it! Not only did you prove that my invention works, but you saved the kingdom!”, Lisa congratulated.

Lola posed.

“Oh, it was nothing. I’m just the best.”

“Modest, too.”, Lincoln muttered to himself with a grin.

“Hey!”, Lola called, annoyed.

Lincoln just laughed.

“We should upgrade your armor, though. Perhaps future visits to space would require some extra protection?”, Lisa suggested.

“My kingdom could use some expansion…”, Lola eagerly agreed.

Suddenly, Lana the Dragon got up.

“I… LIVE!!!!!!!!!!”, she called.

She licked her lips.

“And I’m looking for a new victim…”

Lana had made the mistake of looking at Rita, Luna and Lily, who had just left the bath, the rocker and the youngest loud covered in towels from head to toe.

“Oh, hey Mom!”, Lana called, reverting back to herself.

“Hi, mommy!”, Lola called as well.

“Hi, girls! What are you doing?”, Rita asked.

Lisa, though, let out a screech of panic and ran to defend her mother and two sisters.

“Familial units, run away! The dragon has set her eyes on you!”

Rita, Luna and Lily exchanged confused glances.

“Wisa? Kay-kay?”, Lily asked.

“Yeah, Lis, what’s up?”, Luna asked, not understanding what the girl was saying.

“Don’t you see her?”, Lisa pointed at Lana, who waved.

“Girls, why is Lisa acting weird?”, Rita asked.

Lincoln stepped forwards.

“I think Lisa got a little too in tuned with her imagination.”

Lisa rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Lincoln! Lana is a dragon and she’s going to…”

Lisa stopped herself and her mind clicked.

“…Oh. Whoops. My bad.”

Rita, Luna and Lily nodded.

“I get it now. Well, it’s good to see that Lisa is playing nicely with you! Have fun!”, Rita said, and she, Luna and Lily went to Lily’s room to get her dressed.

Lisa stood, a surprised look on her face.

She had never mistaken anything for a dragon before!

How could she make such a stupid mistake?

Lola and Lana stepped forwards.

“Wow, Lisa, that was great!”

Lincoln nodded.

“You sure add a lot to these games!”

Clyde held up a 10 out of 10 sign.

“I was moved, I was entertained! Great work!”

Lisa was still dazed.

“Lincoln, I don’t get it. How could I really think Lana was a dragon? Or that we really made a metal suit? I know it wasn’t real, but it… It felt so real!”, she asked, feeling suddenly very small.

Lincoln smiled warmly.

“Lisa, it’s ok! Everyone gets a little carried away! What it means is that you had fun!”

Lisa considered this.

Lola and Lana, afraid that Lisa may have not had fun, now felt a tad guilty.

“Maybe we overdid it a bit.”, Lana whispered to Lola.

“I think you’re right.”, Lola replied, worried for her sister.

Lola and Lana stepped towards Lisa.

“Sorry, Lisa. We shouldn’t have badgered you to play with us. You probably prefer to be in the lab.”, they said, a little upset, since they really did like playing with her.

Lisa wasn’t sure what to say, but suddenly, her mind clocked again and she realized:

Yes, she hadn’t made any real progress.

And yes, she had behaved uncharacteristically.

But you know what?

It WAS fun.

Lisa smiled.

It was FUN!

It really was!

“Are you kidding? That was the most fun I’d had in ages!”, Lisa cheered.

Lola and Lana got surprised grins plastered on their faces.

“Really?!”, they asked.

Lisa nodded.

“Really.”

She then felt a little guilty.

“And I guess… I should apologize too. I was way too coarse with you, and way too quick to judge.”

She shuffled her feet.

“I thought this was dumb, but… I really like this imagination thing. And I’d love to do it again!”

Everyone got into a group hug.

Suddenly, Lisa separated from it.

“But I think we should come up with another idea. This could get stale.”

Everyone scratched their heads.

“Maybe another new character? It worked last time.”, Lincoln suggested.

“I don’t know… Who can we add?”, Lola asked.

Lisa tried to think of someone, but her eye suddenly caught Lynn punching a boxing bag.

“STUPID! COACH! THINKING! I’M! NOT! WORKING! HARD! ENOUGH!”, Lynn screamed as she punched her boxing bag harder and harder.

She ripped her sleeves off.

“I’M SO ANGRY!”, she screamed, and she lifted Lucy.

“Please. Put me down.”, Lucy asked.

Lisa grinned and nodded.

“H’mm…”

 

 

A few months later…

Standing in an airport in Berlin, The Night Club (Luna Loud) stepped out, ready for the upcoming confrontation.

She had to get Bucky (Lincoln) out.

She had to find the Dragon (Lana).

She had to do what was right.

She began to run, but unfortunately, she was in for a royal pain…

FWOOSH!

Two figures in metal suits flew down to meet her.

The pink metal suit shoot a gadget that shut down the helicopter Night Club was running too, and she stared at her former ally with much frustration.

The figures landed on the ground.

Their masks rose up, revealing Princess Lola (Lola, duh) and The Loyal Night (Clyde).

“Wow, it’s so weird how you run into people in the airport, don’t you think that’s weird?”

The Loyal Night nodded gravely.

“Definitely weird.”

Night Club tried to explain.

“Hear me out, Lola. That dragon, that Lana… She’s behind all of this.”

Suddenly, a figure leaped into the air and landed perfectly next to The Loyal Night.

Retracting her claws, Black Pun-Ther (Luan) glared at Night Club.

“Night Club… Not the purr-fect first meeting I hoped for! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?”, she joked.

“Yo.”, Night Club greeted.

“Anyway… Huggins gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. I think, I’m not that good at math. Was it?”, Princess Lola asked The Vision (Lisa).

Vision nodded.

“Great! Thanks! Anyway, that was 24 hours ago. Can you help a sister out?”

“You’re after the wrong little bro.”, Night Club answered.

“Your judgment is askew.”

“Nice word, Loles!”, Luna complimented.

“Thanks!”, Lola smiled, and reverted to character.

“Your old jamming buddy killed innocent people yesterday…”

Night Club retorted, keeping her stand.

“And there are 5 more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the Dragon find them first, Lola, I can’t.”

“Luna… I mean, Night Club! No, wait, Luna! No, Night Club! Dang it! Which name is it now?”

“Night Club!”, everyone answered.

Leni apologized sheepishly.

“Sorry, my bad! Ahem. Night Club…”

The Eleven of Hearts (Leni) stepped up, wanting her friends to just get along.

“You know what’s about to happen… Do you really want to rock your way out of this one?”

Leni then looked at Lisa.

“Did I do it right?”

Lisa gave her a thumbs up.

“Yes!”, Leni squeeled and pumped her fist.

Night Club took this in.

Princess Lola rolled her eyes.

“All right, I’ve run out of patience!”

She shouted loudly.

“UNDEROOS!”

A web thwip took Night Club’s guitar, and a new figure flipped onto a truck.

It was The Literally Amazing Spider-Woman (Lori)!

“Guys, literally, why am I the rookie? I’m the eldest!”, she asked.

“It’s ironic humor.”, Luan said. “No one would cast you as a rookie!”

Lori rolled her eyes. “I still think this doesn’t make sense. Also, Leni, don’t you find me scary?”

“Why? You’re Lori!”, Leni said with a smile.

Lori couldn’t help but chuckle.

“All right, whatever.”

She went back into character.

“Now, give yourself up, and we can stay a family, Night Club!”, Princess Lola begged.

Night Club shook her head.

“This family stopped existing the moment you signed those accords.”

Lola growled.

“Fine!”

Suddenly, Vision (Lisa) and Dr. Spooky (Lucy) joined Princess Lola, Spider-Woman, Black Pun-Ther, The Loyal Knight and The Eleven of Hearts.

Night Club whistled, and Bucky (Lincoln), Sunshine (Sam), Techno Girl (Stella), The Incredible Lynnsanity (Lynn) and Bopping Baby (Lily) joined her.

“Thanks for coming, Stella.”, Lincoln whispered.

“My pleasure.”, Stella whispered back.

“How’s my hero doing?”, Sam asked, and her hand brushed with Luna’s hand, causing them to blush.

“What do we do?”, Bucky asked.

Night Club narrowed her eyes.

“We fight.”

And the greatest battle ever began!

As this happened, siblings and friends laughing and playing, Lisa smiled to herself.

Sometimes, it was good to try something new and let loose.

 

 

 

Post Credit Scene:

A figure zoomed down the street.

“Don’t work hard enough!”

She zoomed down again, nearly dropping Scoots.

“Slow down, punk!”, she shouted ironically.

“Don’t work hard enough!”

She zoomed down a third time, setting a bush on fire.

“I better call Dr. Lopez.”, The bush sighed and got out it’s phone.

“DON’T WORK HARD ENOUGH!”

She ground to a halt, and looked up with a look full of rage.

“I’LL SHOW HIM LYNN LOUD JR. IS THE HARDEST WORKER THERE IS!”, Lynn screamed.

She geared up to run…

And pulled a muscle.

Next time: “Help Is For Weenies!”

Requested by tigerdomteur!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This was surprisingly hard, but I still like it!  
> 2\. The next story is the first request! From tigerdomteur, it's a story about Lynn pulling a muscle and getting help (not that she needs it) from Paula, Clyde and Lori.  
> 3\. Leo and Lyberti? They appeared in "Stage Plight". And they are the crackiest ship I've ever made!  
> 4\. An update on all my projects:
> 
> Into The Spider-Verse: I am taking this super seriously, guys. This is one of my biggest projects ever! But, I don't want to rush it. So I know that you all want to see it, but you'll have to wait a bit. I promise that chapter 1 will come soon, though.
> 
> Craig of the Creek: Also coming soon, sooner than Spider-Verse.
> 
> Chapter 3 of this: Probably by Monday or Tuesday?
> 
> Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts!
> 
> I love you 3000.


	3. Help Is For Weenies!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3: Lynn overworks herself and refuses help. Requested by tigerdomteur.

"Don’t work hard enough!"

Saturdays in Royal Woods were mostly peaceful, but today a piercing sound could be heard every time she made another lap.

"Don't work hard enough!"

The weather in Royal Woods was mostly pleasant, but today it was agonizing, the sweltering heat and the bright sun, so bright it left an orangish-yellow shade all over the place, taking their toll on the brown haired teen, sweat droplets covering her face.

She stopped for a second and shook her body violently, her hair wild and unkempt now, her smile frustrated and determined, with a hint of enthusiasm glazed across her eyes.

She took off again, like a rocket, speeding on the pavement.

Dust and small pebbles followed her trail, her legs like turbines, spinning and spinning round and round like a record baby round and round.

The wind in her face only heightened the sweating, but she relished it.

Her heart beat loudly as she thought of HIM.

"Don't work hard enough!"

She blazed through, accidentally running through someone's lawn.

Some would have said she wasn't graceful, but she deftly dodged every obstacle, like she could see the playing field 50 moves before it happened.

She scoffed as she ran, allowing a small smirk.

"How's that for graceful, Mrs. Pavlova?" (Her old ballet teacher)

But her frown returned, and she continued her furious run.

She...

She just couldn't understand it.

She zipped down the lane, nearly dropping Scoots off her scooter.

"Hey! Slow down, punk!", she shouted, not noticing the inherent irony.

She zoomed, her body nearly touching the sky, she was so fast.

She was so fast she set a bush on fire.

"Well, that's gonna do a number on my self esteem.", the bush thought, and he began to dial Dr. Lopez.

Her eyes narrowed as she thought of yesterday.

It had been a fine day, really!

She was feeling so pumped for soccer practice, now that she didn't feel the need to be the star!

After what happened with Margo, she realized she wasn't the only player on the team, and now that she saw the other players, the team was working like a well oiled trophy machine!

She was so excited to go back on the field and score goals and be the best!

With the others, of course.

But no!

She rounded the corner and started to get pissed, steam coming out of her ears.

The school just HAD to hire a new coach!

And man, was he a jerk!

He came in, all know it all and stuff, judging the players before he even knew them!

He said that Margo wasn't physical enough in her game!

"Jeez, dude, if you knew how hard she worked!"

It made her blood boil.

He said that Paula was not skilled enough, not tough enough!

"Hello? She's playing with a broken leg, and she's easily in our top 5 players! She's incredible!"

It made her face seethe with rage.

But worst of all?

What made her SO angry, so furious, so utterly enraged?

"And you!", he pointed at her, his sneer only matched by the mocking tone in his voice and his jeering eyes.

"You don't work hard enough. You think you've already made it."

She huffed like some furious horse.

Her teeth gritted hard, her tongue getting cut for a second, but she ignored the pain.

The more pressing issue was her hurt feelings.

"That... That..."

She stopped, having run perhaps for 5 minutes straight.

"*#$%#%*!"

Her heart pounded like a drum, her head throbbed intensely and her eyes nearly popped out from the seething anger she felt.

SHE?

SHE didn't work hard enough?

For years, she had had to work harder than everyone!

Sure, women in sport were much more accepted these days, but she still had to work her butt off to get to where she was!

She had wrung herself to the bone to get here! To be number one, she had refused to be anything lower!

So to be told, after years of extra training, after years of researching other opponents, after years of getting up every time she fell, to be told that she wasn't working hard enough?

She fiercely punched a street lamp, bruising it slightly and hurting her hand.

"Ow!"

Now she was even angrier.

This was his fault!

Not her bad judgment!

...

Ok, fine, so this was on her.

But he still sucked!

She hated everything about his smug, disgusting face!

She wanted to knock him out, see his nose twist out of shape, see his fat butt slam on the ground, see his vision blur.

She wanted him to feel an ounce, a fraction, an iota of the pain she had felt all her life to get herself to peak condition!

...

She smiled proudly and cockily and put her hands on her hips.

"Iota? Lisa must have rubbed off me! Not that I'm not a genius already!"

She then returned to her tirade, and prepared for another lap.

She felt her lungs sting.

Her cheeks, nose and lips burned from the heat.

She had a cut on her palm from the punch she gave the lamp post, and it was getting a little bloody, but she merely wiped it on her pants.

"I can always pretend it's from a meatball sub. Which I'm totally getting after this! Momma needs her protein!"

She readied her legs, that shook violently from the pressure.

Her knees buckled for a second, but she steadied her breath and forced them to stay still.

Sweat ran down her temples like rain, and she wiped it off, feeling knackered.

Maybe...

Maybe she should take a break.

Her eye lids drooped, but she then slapped herself, leaving a red, ghastly mark on her cheek.

"Focus, Loud! He wants you to take a break! He wants you to fail! But are you going to let him?!"

She tried to warm up, ignoring the heaviness of her breath, ignoring the throbbing of her head, ignoring the pleas of her heart.

"You've worked so hard to get here, and now you're just going to give up? Are you chicken? No! You're a winner! And winners don't give up! They don't take breaks!"

She violently shook her head, spittle flying off to the sides, her eyes harboring a crazy look.

"I'm going to train so hard, I'll be even better! I'll be so cut, he won't be able to say a word, he'll choke on his cigar!"

She smiled, despite herself, and stood up, watching the bright sun.

She could see it.

The finish line.

Just a little bit more, and she'll rest.

Honest!

...Mostly.

She ignored the knot in her stomach and she got ready to set off like a rocket.

"DON'T WORK HARD ENOUGH?! 

She growled and ran off, screaming.

" I’LL SHOW HIM LYNN LOUD JR. IS THE HARDEST WORKER THERE IS!", Lynn screamed.

And then she pulled a muscle.

Her body shrieked with pain, her eyes widened in shock and her balance was totally lost as she collapsed to the ground.

She saw the sidewalk coming and, desperate to avoid extra pain, threw her arms forward.

That move just managed to cushion the pain as Lynn met pavement.

She still scraped her knee (“Which of course belonged to the leg with the pulled muscle!”, she thought), but she could have had been hurt a lot worse.

Still, that pain!

Her nerves shot around like wildfire as she bit her tongue to silence the painful scream she was afraid of letting out.

A fleck of blood dropped from her mouth, she had bitten down so hard, and alongside the dryness she felt in her throat, Lynn felt like she was getting faint.

So she slapped herself again, prompting a yelp of pain.

"Stupid hand!", she shouted, and she slapped her hand, causing that hand to slap the other hand, causing the hand to hit the pavement, causing Lynn to fall down to her back from exhaustion.

The clouds seemed so bright, and the sun nearly blinded her.

“It’s like being lost in a dessert, only it’s a pulled muscle, and that sucks way more!”, she thought.

As if on cue, the muscle started to send intense signals to Lynn, making her cringe in pain.

She had pulled muscles before, why did this one hurt so bad?

She sighed as she tried to ignore the excruciating pain.

Her shoulders, now not tense from all the running, began to feel heavy, sending some more aches her way.

Her face still dripped from all the sweat, her lungs felt heavy, her legs screamed with pain, her heart beat like crazy, and she found it all so...

Exhausting.

"Maybe I oughta take a power nap...", she began to say, her eye lids drooping, they were so tired...

"No!"

She slapped herself a third time, now really feeling the stinging in her cheeks.

She tried, with no avail, to get up.

"Lynn... Loud... Jr... Never... Gives..."

But her knees buckled, her pulled muscle acted up and she fell on her butt, hurting yet another body part.

"Arghhh! Stupid body, working properly to address me of pain! Stop being such a weenie and help me up!"

Most people would have long given up.

Some would have at least rested.

But unfortunately, Lynn was sure that getting up was right.

She wouldn't have done this before.

But...

She had a point to prove.

"You can't get up, huh?", the coach said, cackling.

"I told you you didn't work hard enough!"

Lynn growled, her eyes mad with rage.

"I'LL SHOW YOU!"

She huffed and puffed, her body screaming for her to stop, but she ignored it.

Her arms weakly tried to balance her body as she lifted her knees slowly.

She just might...

If...

She...

Tried...

A...

Little...

Harder...

She could taste victory.

H'mm.

Tasted like...

Dog?

She opened her eyes and saw Charles lick her.

"GET OFF, CHARLES!", she screamed.

Charles, pouting, ran off, tail behind his legs.

Lynn glared at him.

"Stupid dog!"

She tried to get up again, but her whole self felt so...

Weak.

She collapsed, her breath short and her back arched from the impact.

It all hurt so much.

She got so angry at herself, her eyes stinging from tears of rage and frustration.

She was better than this!

...Right?

The tears fell as she screamed and slapped herself again, her cheek bright red.

"GET... UP!"

She sobbed.

"...Please..."

That's it.

It was over.

She was a loser.

She'd never recover from this.

...Lynn Loud was finished.

He was right.

"I'm... I'm nothing.", Lynn thought, her soul weeping.

She looked at the clouds.

"Who knew it would end like this? A small pulled muscle. I should be better than this."

She sighed.

"But I'm not."

The sun shined even brighter, and she could swear she could hear footsteps, maybe even a clanking sound.

But she was too busy feeling terrible to care.

"I guess... It could be worse."

Her life flashed before her eyes, her great achievements reminding her that...

It wasn't all bad.

She had won competition after competition!

She had beaten the odds numerous times!

She had been a pretty darn good sister!

...At least, she thought she was.

She had even taken a team of underdogs and made them contenders!

Lynn smiled as she thought of the Turkey Jerkies, secretly her favorite team to play in.

Sure, they were screw ups, but they were her screw ups, and they worked so hard!

Lynn continued to think of her upcoming death, listing off the recipients in her will, while a familiar nervous nerd began to approach the scene.

“So, Lincoln gets the gymnastics equipment, Lucy gets the rabbit’s foot, Lana gets my lucky socks… H’mm, who should I give my hackysack too? Clyde?”

"Lynn?", a voice called.

Lynn laughed quietly.

"Huh, that's funny. I didn't think that St. Peter sounded like Clyde. I better tell him when he comes here in 70-85 years... Give or take."

"Lynn?", the voice asked again, a little more urgently this time.

Lynn frowned.

"Ok, just take me. I know I failed, so don't let me suffer anymore."

"LYNN?!"

Lynn shook awake, and as her eyes focused, the shape of Clyde McBride, Lincoln’s BFF, appeared above her.

Clyde was a famously panicky and nervous boy, one who got alarmed and concerned at the drop of a hat.

So seeing Lynn on the ground almost immediately made him assume the worst.

“Lynn? Are you ok? Why are you lying on the ground? GASP! Did someone hit you? No, wait, you’re too tough for that. Did you fall? No, that doesn’t sound right. Did someone mug you? I’ll call the police!”

The boy took out his phone and began dialing, his fingers bouncy and shakey.

Lynn rolled her eyes.

“Clyde, I’m fine! And I wasn’t mugged, so don’t call the police!”

Clyde looked back at Lynn, surprised.

“Wait, are you sure? ‘Cause I already dialed, and that’s going to be embarrassing…”

Suddenly, Rusty answered the phone, and Clyde nearly dropped it from surprise.

It bounced from one hand to the other until he finally got a firm grip on it.

“Rusty? Oh, hey, didn’t mean to call you. How are ya, though?”

Lynn cleared her throat, not liking the lack of attention, even though she didn’t want Clyde to think she was hurt.

Clyde looked back at Lynn.

“Excuse me, Lynn, I just need to finish talking to Rusty. Oh, wait! Sorry, Rusty, I gotta go. Tell me all about that shark that moved in to your house later, kay?”

Clyde hung up and refocused on Lynn, afraid for her safety.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt, Lynn?”

Lynn grunted.

“Darn it, Clyde, I said so, didn’t I? What a pain!”

Clyde gasped.

“Where?!”

Lynn groaned and glared at the scared boy.

“Dude, I’m fine. I’m just… Resting.”, she said, and she put her arms behind her head, with great difficulty.

Her face twisted with pain, causing Clyde to question the truth in the statement.

“No offense, Lynn, but…”, he tugged at his glasses. “That doesn’t seem to be true.”

Lynn feinged shock.

“What? You’re saying that I, Lynn Loud Jr., would dare, would stoop so low as to LIE to someone?”

Clyde was not one for sarcasm, but even he gave Lynn a raised eyebrow at this statement.

Lynn fidgeted, worried that the jig was up.

“…Name one time!”

LITERALLY TWO DAYS AGO…

It was pitch dark as Clyde went down the stairs of his house, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

It was 3 in the morning, and his dads would kill him (or, well, suffocate him with love) for daring to do this, but Clyde was sure he had heard a sound in the house, and his curiosity had gotten the better of him.

He had taken the necessary precautions, of course, and he hoped that his life sized cardboard cutout of Lori would stop the potential threat.

He finally disembarked from the final step, and he immediately noticed the dim light emanating from the kitchen, and the inhumane sound coming from there.

Clyde shook with fear, but he refused to be daunted.

He would protect his family!

He closed his eyes and burst in to the room, attempting to swing the cutout at the mystery occupant, only to open his eyes at the last second and see…

Lynn, her face covered with crumbs and left over bits of meatloaf, hunched over the fridge, looking guilty.

Clyde’s mouth hung wide open in shock, and he dropped the cardboard Lori, his surprise reflected in his big eyes.

Lynn laughed nervously.

“Lynn?”, Clyde asked, failing to understand.

“…Who’s Lynn?”

The flashback ended, and Lynn crossed her arms.

“Ok, so maybe I do tend to fib a bit, but I really am ok!”

Clyde turned his arms to the side, still confused.

“So how come you’re lying on the sidewalk?”

Lynn opened her mouth, but Clyde interrupted.

“Right underneath the sun?”

Lynn tried again to explain, but Clyde continued his barrage of questions.

“On one of the hottest days of the year?”

Lynn frowned and cleared her throat, but Clyde broke in yet again.

“And why do you look so annoyed?”

Lynn shouted.

“Well, it was because of the pain ‘till you kept pointing out the obvious!”

Lynn’s hands covered her mouth as she realized her slip, and she shook her head.

“No! I didn’t mean that!”

Clyde shook with concern, his face that of worry.

“Oh, no! You are hurt! I’m calling Lori!”

Lynn was about to complain, when she was struck with a question.

“Don’t call… Wait, why Lori?”

Clyde, who was already dialing the number, matter of factly replied “Well, she’s probably the one who would come her fastest.”

Lynn smirked, deciding to mess with the boy.

“Really? Nothing to do with you being in LOOOOOOOOVE with her?”, she mocked him, laughing as he blushed beet red.

“I’m over that! R…Really!”, Clyde said, and he was telling the truth.

For the past few months, Clyde had outgrown his feelings for Lori, and while he still kept a souvenir or too (he thought the cardboard Lori was too well made to throw away), he had finally realized she was too old for him.

Lynn continued to laugh, and wiped a tear from her eye.

“I’m just messing with ya, you dweeb! I know you outgrew her!”

Clyde chuckled awkwardly, and went back to his call.

Lynn, remembering what he was doing, tried to get him to stop.

“Clyde! I told you, I’m fine!”

Clyde crossed his arms, refusing to budge on this.

“Lynn, you said yourself that you’re feeling pain! I’m the only one here! As such, it is my duty to help one in need!”

Lynn growled at the description.

“IN NEED?! What am I, some baby who needs a hug? I’m Lynn Loud Jr.! I could bench press you if I wanted!”

Clyde looked at his skinny, noodle arms.

“Please don’t.”

Lynn continued to shout at him, getting angrier every passing second.

“I just pulled a muscle, ok? I can get through this!”

Clyde gasped, now even more concerned.

“A pulled muscle? Now I MUST call Lori! Oh, boy, you must be in some pain.”, he said, giving Lynn a sad look.

He hated seeing people suffer, even those he didn’t have much of a connection too.

For a second, Lynn forgot her rage and admitted that she was quite hurt.

“Well, it’s not just that, my head is pounding, my heart beat’s pretty fast, and I can’t really move my arms, they’re quite…”, but she then realized she was playing herself to him, and returned to denying.

“Forget it! I’m fine!”

Clyde continued to ignore her demands.

“No way, Lynn! I want to help!”

Lynn tried to think.

How could she stop Clyde from helping her and making her look weak?

Her body hurt so much, she didn’t know what she could do…

Wait, that’s it!

He’s concerned, right?

“Maybe some tactics are in need of deployment”, she thought with a sneaky grin.

She began to cough (which actually hurt her chest, but she’d have to use that for her advantage), and Clyde stopped dialing.

“Lynn? What’s wrong now?”, he asked, worry printed all over his face.

“Yes, my prey. FALL INTO MY TRAP!”, Lynn cackled, before reverting to her act. “Oh, Clyde! You’re right! I can’t deny it any longer! I am in pain! SOOOO much pain!”

Clyde rushed to her, knealing down next to the brown haired girl.

Lynn had never been this up close to Clyde’s face.

It was… 

Kind of nice.

He wasn’t that ugly, honestly.

Clyde’s eyes darted around, trying to find a solution.

“Oh, dang it! I’m sorry, Lynn! I should have called Lori by now! I won’t waste another second!”, he cried as he took out his phone.

“Dang it!”, Lynn cursed internally. “He’s going to do it. I better act fast. Sorry, Clyde, but this is a necessary evil.”

She suddenly coughed again, sending a shiver of pain across her body.

“Oh, Clyde… I don’t think I have much time left…”

Clyde nearly got a heart attack from this, and he began to hyper ventilate.

“What?! OH MY GOD! WHAT DO I DO? If you die, then Lincoln and your family will be depressed forever! And your teammates will be depressed! And the world will mourn, and I can’t do anything!”

Lynn reached out to his face, caressing it.

“Oh, Clyde. I can see the light.”

Clyde began to cry, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Don’t go, Lynn… Please…”

Lynn whispered in his ear, her trap set as she slyly grinned.

“Can you… Can you do me one favor?”

Clyde nodded, looking like a mess, his glasses out of place, and his eyes puffy and red.

Lynn smiled softly.

“I’ve never kissed someone in my entire life… Could… Could you be my first and last kiss?”

Clyde’s heart nearly stopped and his eyes turned wide like pie tins.

He was going to need 2, no, 5, no 15 sessions with Dr. Lopez to just begin to analyze this afternoon!

Clyde sweated and fidgeted nervously, but despite his fears and worries…

He wasn’t going to let Lynn down.

At least, not again.

If this was all he could give, then he would at least give that.

“…Ok… If you insist…”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his lips puckered.

Lynn smiled, and pretended to edge closer, but just at the right moment, she snatched the phone.

Clyde, feeling the movement, opened his eyes and noticed the trick.

“WHAT? What are you doing?!”, he asked, shocked and appalled.

Lynn giggled and, barely succeeding, pushed him off with her other arm.

“Ha!”, she cried, waving the phone victoriously. “Now you can’t help my aching body! Who’s the dummy now?”

Clyde sputtered in disbelief. “Uh… Wha… You are! You’re letting yourself be hurt for no reason!”

Lynn stuck her tongue out.

“I do so have a reason!”, she cried, and she closed the phone.

Now, Clyde was not the bravest guy around.

In fact, he was quite the coward.

And he was also incredibly weak.

He knew that he couldn’t beat Lynn in a fight.

As a matter of fact, she would wipe the floor with him. She would destroy him. She would murder him, and he would lie on the floor, in agonizing, excruciating pain as she laughs diabolically.

And then he’d cry.

Clyde McBride was many things…

But a man who lets his friends get hurt was not one of them.

“AAAGHHHH!”, he screamed, and he lunged at Lynn, who was startled by this display.

He landed next to her and reached for the device, but Lynn tossed it to her other arm.

Clyde then rolled to the other side and tried to take it again, but she threw it to the previous arm, laughing.

“This is sad! You can’t stop me!”

He held both her arms back, and tried to grab the phone, but she just managed to flip it onto her stomach.

“Now you can’t take it!”, she crowed, and she let out a victory screech.

Clyde stared at her blankly and took the phone without a single word.

“…Dang it.”, Lynn thought.

She pretended to give up.

“I guess I can’t do anything… SURPRISE ATTACK!”

She tried to kick Clyde and trip him, but she accidentally used the leg with the pulled muscle, and she let out a scream of pain, that attracted the attention of a passerby from across the street.

As the passerby approached, she gained the shape of a blond pony tailed girl, red ribbon keeping it in shape, with a pink buttoned shirt, pink hair clips to match, light blue jeans, a pink flat on her left foot, and, of course, a crutch for her seemingly always broken foot appeared.

It was Paula, Lynn's teammate and good friend.

Paula was a sensible and calm girl, a voice of reason for her friend Lynn.

The two shared quite the special friendship.

And usually, Paula would have been calm and cool in this situation.

But this wasn't like other situations.

"LYNN?! Are you ok?!"

Now, again, Lynn would have usually told the truth here.

It would be dumb to lie to Paula and tell her that she was ok.

But Lynn felt too bad to think reasonably.

“What? Pfft! Of course I’m fine!”, Lynn brushed her friend off.

Clyde, who had just dialed Lori and was waiting for her answer, looked up. “No she isn’t.”

Lynn crossed her arms. “You’re lucky I can’t move.”

Paula smiled and sighed in relief.

“Oh, that’s good! I thought you were hurt!”

Lynn smiled nervously.

“Say whaaaaaaat? Meeeee? Nah!!!!!!!”

Lynn cringed a bit in pain when she felt her body shriek once again.

Clyde, who was still waiting for Lori to pick up, contradicted this.

“Seriously? Listen, um… Sorry, what’s your name?”

“Oh, yeah! We’ve never met, have we?”, the determined girl said and she offered a handshake. “I’m Paula, Lynn’s teammate and friend.”

Clyde shook back. “Clyde, acquaintance of Lynn’s. And she’s lying to you. She’s hurt really badly.”

Paula, while aware of her friend’s flaws, refused to sell her so short.

“Well, Clyde, while I appreciate the concern, I know that Lynn would never ignore an injury. She’s too smart to do that!”, she complimented, and she high fived Lynn, whose hand hurt from the action.

“Yay… No guilt trip here at all…”, Lynn muttered under her breath.

Paula then smiled and asked Lynn a simple question.

“So, whatcha doin’? I was thinking of going to the Burpin’ Burger with you. If you want to, that is.”, Paula offered, still smiling nicely.

Lynn glared at the author.

“You said it was a simple question!”

“Well, it is. Just, ya know, in a different context.”

Lynn nodded.

“Technicality. Fine.”

Lynn then looked at Paula and tried her best to lie.

“Sure I can, pal! I am in perfect condition!”

Suddenly, Lori’s voice burst through the phone, a “What?!?!?!?!” that left the three kids ears ringing.

“Clyde, don’t you dare move! I’ll literally be there ASAP!”, Lori shouted, and the phone hung up. 

Paula looked down at her friend, an eyebrow raised.

“Woah. What was that about?”

Lynn opened her mouth, but Clyde interjected. “Lynn pulled a muscle and for some reason she won’t accept help.”

Lynn gasped. “Tattle tail!”, before letting out another yelp of pain, screaming with agony.

Clyde face palmed. “Lynn, you’re two years older than me! How am I more responsible?”

Paula gasped at this, concern rising for her friend.

“Lynn! You really are hurt?”, she cried, and she tried to find the source of the pain while kneeling down next to her.

Lynn rolled her eyes, annoyed with all the fussing over.

“Paula, I’m fine! It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Paula stood up and put her hands on her hips, eyebrow raised.

“Lynn, it’s a pulled muscle!”

She threw her arms to the side, her crutches nearly colliding with Clyde.

“It would be amazing if you’re not seriously hurt! How long has she been here?”, she asked Clyde, who was observing from behind, not wanting to get more involved than he was.

“…I’m not sure. I think I’ve been here for about… 7 minutes?”, he guessed, unsure.

Paula gave him a judging look.

“And you only called now?”

Clyde waved his hands in panic.

“Well, I thought she was fine at first too! And then she tried to grab the phone from my hands!”

Paula couldn’t believe this.

“Look at her! She’s on the ground, with a pulled muscle…”

“Not to mention my aching hands and legs, sweat, slightly short breath and cut palms.”, Lynn added, before realizing what a mistake that was.

Paula turned to her with worry again, forgetting her chiding of Clyde, much to his relief.

She stepped down, careful with her broken foot, as she tended to Lynn.

“Where’s the pulled muscle?”, she asked, examining her teammates body for any injury.

Lynn begrudgingly pointed at the area, pouting like a little child.

Paula sighed.

“Did Clyde find you around the time this happened?”

Lynn sighed. “Not really. I think it took him about… 3 minutes, maybe 5.”

Paula face palmed, annoyed at her friends carelessness.

“Lynn! That means you’ve had this for about 15-17 minutes! And with the deathly hot sun, you could be in serious danger!”

Lynn didn’t like the sound of that and tentatively raised a concern.

“…How serious we talking here?”

Paula gave her a grave, ticked off look.

“Hospital serious. Missing parts of the season serious.”

Lynn grunted in frustration, letting out an angry shout.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”

“I agree.”, Paula said. “I can’t believe you’d do something like this! You’re smarter than this!”

Clyde nodded.

“I am surprised too. When it comes to sport, no one knows more than you.”

Lynn muttered under her breath.

“Not according to him.”

Paula and Clyde blinked in confusion.

“What did you say?”

Lynn cursed herself. How many times was she going to volunteer information today?

“N…Nothing!”

Paula sighed again.

“You know, I think the weirdest thing about this is that you’ve never done this! You’ve asked for help before when you got injured! What makes this different? Why don’t you want help?”

Lynn made a face.

“I don’t NEED help! I’m not a baby!”

Paula cried out in frustration, her crutch falling as she did.

“Oh, come on! Everyone needs help sometimes… Woah!”, she began to lecture Lynn, but as she took a step forwards, she lost her balance and fell on her butt next to Lynn.

Lynn turned to her friend in concern. “Paula! You ok?”

Clyde also rushed next to her. “Yeah, you ok?”

Paula nodded, a small smile on her face. “Yep. Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

She brushed the dust off her pants and looked up to Clyde. “Clyde, you mind giving me a hand please?”

As Clyde obliged, Lynn stared at this in shock.

“Paula! What are you doing? You hate being fussed over!”

Paula laughed for a moment as she got up, and regained her balance.

“That is true, Lynn: I hate being fussed over. I can do way more than people say I can. But… I can’t do everything. I know that I’m limited a bit by this infernal foot injury.”

Clyde gave her her crutch back, and she regained her composure.

“Thanks a bunch, Clyde!”

Clyde smiled brightly.

“You’re very welcome!”

Paula turned back to Lynn.

“As I was saying: I don’t always need help, and I’d rather do things on my own, but if I need help, I won’t be shy about it. Sometimes, we all need help. Even you, Lynn.”, she smiled encouragingly.

Lynn pouted again, not liking where this was going, when they heard a scream of panic from the distance.

With a face that was half filled with worry and half filled with anger, Lori Loud jumped out of Vanzilla, and she ran down the sidewalk with 5 bags of frozen peas, and a brain exploding with all manner of thoughts, ranging from “Lynn is going to die for this!” to “Why the heck did I let her do this?” to “Did I bring too many bags of frozen peas?”

Back in the house…

“Doo, doo, doo, makin’ some peas, makin’ some peas, peas for my fam…”, Lynn Sr. sang as he opened the freezer door.

His surprise was insurmountable when he saw the total lack of peas in the freezer.

His eyes twitched and his ears buzzed as he turned to the heavens and screamed “No… PEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

All the way back to where Lori, Lynn, Paula and Clyde were, the scream could be heard.

Lori sighed. “Yay…”

She then quickly applied the frozen peas to Lynn’s pulled muscle after Lynn begrudgingly pointed at it.

Paula and Clyde quickly informed her of everything.

“20 minutes?!”, she yelled at Lynn, not sure who she was angrier at: Lynn for being so irresponsible, or herself for allowing Lynn to do this. “You realize we might have to take you to the hospital, right?”

Lynn rolled her eyes. “I already got the 411 thanks to these guys.”

Lori looked back at Clyde and Paula.

“Oh, by the way, thanks for telling me, Clyde. I really appreciate that.”

Clyde nodded simply.

Lynn looked back from Lori to Clyde.

She then pointed at Lori while looking at the boy.

“Why is your nose not going hoover dam?”

Clyde blushed beet red as Paula gave him a weird look.

“I… I outgrew my crush on Lori a while ago. I thought you knew.”

Lynn defended herself. “You don’t tell me anything!”

Clyde retorted. “Seeing as we’re not friends, I didn’t feel like I needed to.”

Lori continued to tend to Lynn.

“All things considered, you’re very lucky that your friends found you and called me. I came in literally the last second.”

Paula raised a finger. “Not sure it was the last second, otherwise it’d be too late…”

Clyde put a hand on her shoulder. “She never literally means literally, it’s a catchphrase of sorts.”

Paula nodded, understanding. “Ah!”

Lynn continued to cross her arms. “Again, I didn’t need help…”

Lori rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Lynn? You have a oulled muscle!”

She looked back at Clyde and Paula. “What is wrong with her?”

The two kids shrugged. “That’s what we’ve been trying to understand!”, they explained.

“It’s nothing, really…”, Lynn started, but Lori interjected.

“I doubt it. I don’t know why, but you were literally fuming when you left the house, telling me how you needed to “run your rage out” or something”, Lori explained with finger quotes. “What the heck happened? Why were you so angry?”

As Clyde scratched his head, Paula began to piece it together.

Lynn barked back.

“Ok, so I was a little angry, it doesn’t give you an excuse to investigate my personal life!”

Lori fought back, not relenting. “Seeing as I’m your eldest sister, I have more than a right, no, I have the duty to investigate your personal life!”

Clyde began to back up. “I’m getting the feeling that this is a personal conversation…”

Lori grabbed Clyde without even looking, somehow sensing that he was trying to leave despite her full concentration on Lynn.

“Clyde, you’re too deep in! The more people present, the better chance we have to find out why she’s behaving like this!”

Lynn growled, getting more enraged by the second. “There’s no mystery, ok? I’m fine! I ran because I wanted to, that’s it!”

Lori rolled her eyes. “You know, I can’t believe you’re 13. You behave like a 6 year old.”

Lynn’s cheeks flushed red and she got even angrier. “I am not a 6 year old! I had a good reason!”

Lori countered. “Yeah, right! You’re such a stubborn girl, you’d rather miss sports than ask for help!”

Smoke came out of Lynn’s ears, she was so angry.

“Of all the stupid…”

“It wasn’t stupid!”

“Reckless…”

“I know what I’m doing!”

“Inexplicable things…”

“I did it… I did it…”

Lori glared at her. “You realize this hurts your team as well, right?”

That’s it.

Lynn was gonna blow.

“DON’T YOU GET IT?!”, she bellowed, so loudly in fact that she nearly blew Lori, Paula and Clyde away.

“IT’S THAT STUPID COACH’S FAULT!”

Lynn calmed down for a second, before seeing confused expressions on Lori and Clyde’s faces, and an understanding expression on Paula’s.

“Coach? What coach?”, Lori asked, literally not getting it.

Paula frowned and looked at Lori and Clyde.

“She means the soccer team’s new coach. Right, Lynn?”, she asked, hoping Lynn would finally spill.

Lynn didn’t have much of a choice, did she?

Her face turned down to the floor, shame, rage and guilt permeating her face.

“I… Well, we have a new coach, and he’s a real jerk. All he does is go around and insult us.”

She crossed her arms, hating the memory.

“He told Margo that she isn’t physical enough, he told Paula that she wasn’t skilled or tough enough!”

Lori and Clyde gazed back at Paula sympathetically as she looked away, the pain of that memory stinging her heart.

Lynn tried her best to avoid eye contact, now really feeling bad.

“And… He said that I didn’t work hard enough.”

Lori, Clyde and Paula continued to listen in silence, letting Lynn vent out her feelings.

“And… I just… I couldn’t believe he’d say that. I’ve worked hard all my life! I’ve worked my butt off to be the best! And then some bozo comes along and says I don’t?”, she shouted, getting angry again.

Tears stung her eyes as she finished. “I wanted to prove that he was wrong, so I decided to train even harder, until I was so strong he’d never be able to tell me that again. But… I ended up overdoing it.”

She sighed. “I didn’t ask for help ‘cause I thought I’d be proving him right.”

She cursed herself. “I can’t believe I was so dumb! I might hurt our team even more!”

Lori suddenly lifted Lynn a bit (not too much, so as to not hurt her pulled muscle) and she hugged her, her warmth calming Lynn down for a second.

She wasn’t used to such affection from Lori, so this was a whole new experience.

Lori closed her eyes and talked calmly. “Lynn… You don’t need to prove anything.”

Lynn gawked at this. “Of course I do! I’m not the best yet and…”

Lori placed a finger on Lynn’s lips, shushing her.

“No. You don’t need to prove anything.”

She chuckled softly.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you think you do. I WISH I had the trophies and the muscles you have!”, she laughed. “I mean, can you imagine me with muscles?”, she lifted a frail noodle arm.

Lynn couldn’t help but laugh from this for a second.

Paula chimed in. “She’s right, Lynn! You’re an amazing inspiration and friend! I wish I had your determination!”

Clyde also complimented her. “Same here! I’m a total wuss. I wish I could be as tough as you!”

Lynn cocked an eyebrow jokingly. “You, a wuss? Why, I’ll be!”

Clyde chuckled. “You don’t know everything about me.”

Lori asked Paula and Clyde to help her as they lifted Lynn to Vanzilla.

“And there is no shame in asking for help, you know? None of us would judge you.”, Lori stated, as they strapped Lynn in.

As they drove back, Lynn apologized.

“Thanks so much for all the help, guys. And I’m sorry. I really am. From now on, I won’t be afraid to ask for help. And I won’t try to prove myself. At least, not to jerkwads like him.”

Lori looked back from her seat. “I am going to talk to your school about him. If that’s ok.”

Lynn and Paula nodded. “Please.”

As she turned left, Lori turned again to Lynn with a grin. “Say, now that we’re finished with this, what do you say that I drive you all back and then I’ll go to the Burpin’ Burger and get you all some burgers?”

While Paula and Clyde enthusiastically nodded, Lynn looked unsure. “I don’t know”, she rubbed the back of her neck. “Do I really deserve it?”

Lori shook her head lovingly. “Lynn, I think you’ve suffered enough. You deserve a treat.”

Lynn smiled and nodded. “Ok, thanks Lori!”

As they neared home, Lori raised a question.

“Say, Clyde, why wasn’t I notified that you’ve lost your crush on me?”

Clyde got a little embarrassed. “Sorry, Lori, I just… You see…”

Lori laughed. “Don’t worry, Clyde! It happens!”

She then smiled softly from behind him.

“Anyway, don’t worry! You’re a good kid, and I’m sure you’ll find the right girl.”

As Lori said this, Clyde looked at Lynn, who seemed grateful for his help. She smiled gently at him, and Clyde couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked, how her rabid energy combined with her nicer side made her into a very odd girl indeed.

But a girl he didn’t dislike one bit.

He flashbacked to the kiss they almost shared (fake as it was), and blushed red.

She just looked so…

Right.

“Yeah…”, Clyde agreed as he turned away.

“Maybe she really is out there.”

 

 

Post Credit Scene:

Luan tried to think. What could she do to insure that Her father got the present he deserved?

“Come on, Luan! Mom and Dad, your siblings, they’re counting on you! But what could we do? What is there to do that involves all our talents?”

Luan closed her eyes in concentration.

“You’re good at clowning. They’re all good at other stuff. Maybe… Maybe…”

Suddenly, the thought of a clown on a unicycle in a circus made her chuckle, and then…

“That’s it!”, she cried, a light bulb appearing over her head.

She then took the light bulb and turned it into a circus flier.

“How did she do that?”, Lana asked, amazed,

Luan winked.

“Magic.”

She then stuck the flier to Lori’s face.

“Lori! Lori! Lori! I’ve got it!”

She bounced excitedly, enthusiastic about her idea.

“We’ll put up a circus show!”

Next time: The Louds put up a circus! Fron an annoymus request!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Requests will be closed for the future, so I can handle my other works. They'll be open soon, though.


	4. Loud and Proud!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, "Loud and Proud!", is out! In order to raise money for a present for their dad, The Loud Kids perform a circus show! But can Lincoln find an act in time? Requested by anonymous. Includes a post credits scene that sets up the future of my Loud House stories.

Disclaimer: This is a request from an anonymous user. I hope you like it!

"Attention, everyone! Attention!", the eldest Loud sibling clapped her hands for attention as she started the latest sibling meeting.

She pointed at a board with a ruler, directing attention to a picture of Lynn Sr.

"As you all know", Lori started, looking very serious, a hint of sadness in her voice. "Dad's birthday is tomorrow."

All the other siblings looked confused.

Lana raised her hand.

"Yes, Lana?", Lori asked.

"Lori, why are you telling us all this? We had a sibling meeting about this literally yesterday!", the mud loving twin asked.

Lola pointed an accusing finger at Lana.

"Lana!", she said in anger and shock. "That's Lori's catchphrase!"

Lana closed her eyes and crossed her arms indignantly.

"Lori doesn't own the word literally.", she said defensively.

Lynn chimed in.

"I don't know, it doesn't feel right. It's like if I stole Lucy's catchphrase."

Lana threw her arms up in the air.

"So Lucy owns sighing now?"

"That does sound illogical.", Lola admits.

"She couldn't possibly own that.", Lynn agreed.

Lucy slowly lifted a plaque that said that she owned the action of sighing and caressed it.

"Moving on!", Lori raised her voice, before calming herself down.

She sighed.

Lucy glared.

"The reason I'm bringing this back up is because of a recent discovery I made… Accidentally."

Luan smirked. "You were eavesdropping, weren't you?"

Lori sheepishly moved on. "As I was saying. Mom and Dad were talking and…"

She sighed again, again prompting a glare from Lucy.

"We… We're broke."

The other Loud Kids gasped.

"What?!", they all asked incredulously.

Lori looked down in shame.

"Yeah. We are."

Leni shook in fright.

"Does anyone have any duct tape? We've gotta fix ourselves!"

Lori shook her head.

"Not like that, Leni."

Luan piped in with a joke.

"I guess that would make for a real "change" of pace! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?"

All the other kids rolled their eyes and groaned.

"We get it, Luan!"

Luan finished laughing and then got a serious look.

"Ok, but seriously, how did this happen?", she said, a worried frown stitched across her face.

Lori sat down on her bed, looking suddenly very small and sad.

"Dad's… Dad's restaurant has been… Struggling recently."

She then got a guilty look.

"And this is a lot because of… Us."

All the other Loud kids looked flabbergasted.

"What? How?"

Lori continued her depressed explanation.

"We've all been spending a lot of money recently. Getting new clothes, new comics, pizza…"

Everyone send out annoyed stares at Lola, who faked innocence with a lying grin.

"Who… Me?", she asked, but the stares kept on.

"Ugh! Fine! I may have done that.", she admitted, annoyed.

Lori continued.

"Anyway, we've been spending a ton of money! We literally don't have enough for the gift we chose: A couples retreat to Hawaii!"

Luna scratched her head.

"Well, why don't we make him something?", the rocker proposed.

Everyone agreed that that was a good idea.

Everyone but Lori.

"Guys, no!", she shouted, in a tone that was harsher than she intended.

All the other siblings flinched, and Lori took a deep breath.

"Sorry, that came out harsher than I intended."

She looked at the picture of Lynn Sr. with sad eyes.

"Dad…"

He had given her so much love…

"Dad…"

THEY had given her so much love…

"Dad…"

How could she be SO ungrateful?

"…Dad and Mom deserve the best. Sure, a homemade gift is nice, but with all the tensions with the restaurant recently, I…"

She turned to them, a tear in her eye, which she quickly wiped, fearing someone might see.

"I… I want to give him… Them the gift they deserve."

All the other Louds nodded sadly. They all loved their parents, and they wanted to give them the best gift possible.

Lori looked at them, almost pleadingly.

"Guys… We have to get some money. I don't care how, as long as we do by tomorrow!"

Everyone thought long and hard.

Lincoln raised his hand.

"We could… Nah, that won't work."

Lynn raised her hand excitedly.

"We could sell chocolate bars! With nuts!"

Lucy shook her head.

"We'll need to buy chocolate for that."

Lynn slowly nodded.

"Oh, yeah! My bad.", she admitted, sheepish.

She perked up.

"We could save that for when we want to be entrepenors!"

Lincoln raised his hand again.

"We could… No, that won't work either."

Leni raised her hand.

"We could look for some bushes!"

Lisa blinked in confusion.

"Why?"

Leni smiled brightly.

"Well, I heard that money doesn't grow on trees, but no one said anything about bushes!"

Lisa face palmed and Luan slid next to Leni.

"That didn't make any "cents"!"

She laughed again, but quieted down when she saw the atmosphere.

"Sorry."

Lori smiled softly.

"It's ok, Luan, let's just… Try to think."

Lincoln raised his arm yet again.

"Maybe we… No, darn it, no!"

He sunk to the corner, arms crossed and mood soured.

Luna, feeling bad for her little bro, scooched up next to him.

"You ok?", she whispered, not wanting to embarrass him in front of the others, just in case.

Lincoln shook his head.

"No. I can't come up with anything."

Luna tussled his hair.

"Don't worry. We'll come up with something. And I'm sure that you'll be a great help."

Lincoln couldn't help but smile at that.

"Thanks."

Luna smiled back.

"No problem."

Luan, meanwhile, feeling bad for her mood inappropriate jokes, tried to think of something.

"Come on, Luan! Mom and Dad, your siblings, they're counting on you! But what could we do? What is there to do that involves all our talents?"

Luan closed her eyes in concentration.

"You're good at clowning. They're all good at other stuff. Maybe… Maybe…"

Suddenly, the thought of a clown on a unicycle in a circus made her chuckle, and then…

"That's it!", she cried, a light bulb appearing over her head.

She then took the light bulb and turned it into a circus flier.

"How did she do that?", Lana asked, amazed,

Luan winked.

"Magic."

She then stuck the flier to Lori's face.

"Lori! Lori! Lori! I've got it!"

She bounced excitedly, enthusiastic about her idea.

"We'll put up a circus show!"

Lori blinked in confusion.

"How?"

Luan explained her plan.

"We all have a ton of talents that don't really mesh! Why not combine them into a circus?"

"But how?", Leni asked.

Luan took the board and started to doodle.

"Lori's good at ordering people around, so she can be the Circus Master!"

Lori nodded her head in thought, smiling.

"I would look good in an outfit like that."

Somewhere in the city, Bobby nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, you would, babe."

Ronnie Anne passed by, and eyed her brother, dumbfounded.

"What did you hear, and how did you hear it?"

Bobby stared at her blankly.

"…I don't know, nee nee."

Back with the Louds, Luan continued her plan.

"Leni can make outfits, Luna can provide music, Lynn can be the muscle man…"

Lynn ripped her sleeves off, showing her buff arms.

"Yeah!"

Lucy clapped.

"Nice."

Lynn bowed.

"A thank you, a thank you!"

"Lucy can do a fortune telling act, Lana can tame a lion…"

Lori shook her head.

"That doesn't sound safe…"

Lana suddenly entered with a giant Lion.

"Hey, sorry for leaving, this guy just really wanted an ear rub…"

Everyone looked at Lana with gaping mouths.

"…What?", she asked.

Luan got back to her plan.

"Moving on: Lana can also do the trapeze act with Lola, Lisa can manage the finances, and Lily can attract people to the show with her cuteness!"

Luan lifted Lily, who flashed an innocent smile.

"Wive us the cash!"

Everyone awwed.

Luan then pointed at herself.

"And, of course, I'LL be the clown!"

Everyone nodded. This idea could really work.

Only one Loud didn't say anything, and Luna noticed.

"Lincoln, you've been awfully quiet."

Lincoln looked up, a strange look in his face.

Luan wanted to kick herself.

"Jeez, sorry, Lincoln! I forgot to say what you're doing!"

She then paused to think.

"Actually, I'm not sure. What do you want to do?"

All the other sisters crowded Lincoln, their faces so close to Lincoln he nearly got claustrophobic.

"Yeah, Linky, what are you gonna do?", Leni asked.

"Something amazing?", Lola and Lana asked at the same time.

"Something dangerous?", Lynn asked with a grin.

"Something beautiful?", Lucy asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

Lincoln stammered, his palms sweaty and his smile nervous.

"Um… I think…"

They all looked at him with eager smiles.

Lincoln gulped.

"I… I don't…"

He sighed and looked down.

"I don't know what I can do."

All the sisters deflated, and rushed to his side.

"Oh, Lincoln. I'm sure you'll find something!", Luan said.

"Yeah! You're very talented!", Leni added.

"And very smart. And that's coming from me, so you know I meant it.", Lisa added, her finger pointing in the air.

Lincoln smiled.

"Thanks, guys. But I don't know what I can do!"

Luan puzzled over the problem.

Suddenly, she snapped her fingers.

"Lincoln, why don't you help us all get our acts and jobs done? By the evening, I'm sure you'll have an idea!"

Lincoln looked unsure.

Luan smiled at him encouragingly and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me. You can do this. And, if you can't think of anything, you can be my assistant, just like in "Funny Business"!"

Lincoln smiled, feeling a bit better now.

"Ok… I'll try."

The sisters cheered.

Luan, holding Lincoln on her shoulder, announced loudly "Ok! Operation: Give Dad A Birthday Present That's Also For Mom By Preforming A Circus Show To Random People And   
Think Of A Shorter Name For This Operation is a go!"

Lola growled.

"That's Lincoln's thing! Where's the respect for trademarks, people?"

 

 

In no time at all, the Loud House was chaotic again, the siblings getting their plan underway.

Lori had found a cowbell festival in a city nearby, and had managed to convince her father to take himself and Rita there, giving the Louds free space to work.

Thunderous footsteps and panicked hurrying could be heard all over the place, as the siblings got themselves busy.

But no one was busier (or more panicked) than Lincoln, who was still worried about his act.

He'd have to schedule a worry session for later, though, 'cause he had to help the others, starting with Luan, who needed him to fill the air in her unicycle and make pies.

Being the family's resident comedian, Luan had made a ton of pies in the past.

So you'd think that by then she would have learned not to make such a mess when she cooked.

Lincoln couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of his sister absolutely covered in flour and mixing dough as she stirred the bowl in lightning speed, pie mix spilling onto the floor.

Lincoln moved next to her.

"It's nice of you to leave so much mix for Charles and Cliff, but surely you're being overly generous.", Lincoln barbed.

Luan cocked an eyebrow humorously.

"Oh, we have an expert in the building! How many pies did you make, mister?"

Lincoln pointed at a picture of his pie stand from the "Girl Guru" incident.

"More than you remember, apparently."

Luan giggled.

"Point Lincoln, apparently."

The two siblings laughed, and Lincoln began to put mix in pie tins.

He still looked concerned, though, his need for an act still clouding his mind.

Luan, who was brushing off some flour from her fingers, smiled at Lincoln.

"Thanks, Lincoln! This really helps!"

Lincoln looked up at her.

"So, what are you going to do, besides the usual jokes and pie throwing?"

Luan pointed at her unicycle.

"Well, I need you to fill up the air in my unicycle, if that's ok. Can't juggle pies without it!"

Lincoln couldn't help but laugh. His sister wasn't always funny, but that did sound humorous.

They began to put tins in the oven, like a well oiled machine.

As ever, Lincoln's work ethic and skills shined through with his work.

He still didn't know what to do, though.

As he pumped Luan's unicycle, he vented his frustrations.

"What am I going to do, Luan? You've got a great act and all! I can't do that!"

Luan looked at Lincoln with pity.

She then picked up a pie tin.

"Lincoln, you WILL find your act, I just know it! It will be easy as pie!"

She then laughed from her pun, while Lincoln rolled his eyes lovingly.

"Seriously, though: You've got this! You've got lots of talents! Like… Drawing, for example!"

That made Lincoln smile, and for a moment, his doubts melted.

Luan's smile was a proud one, one that felt as sunny as her.

"I wish I could draw like that! That's a real talent, Lincoln!"

Lincoln still felt bad, though.

"Well, yeah, it is. But how can that translate to an act?"

Luan put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry. We'll find it."

Suddenly, an exploding sound could be heard, and the two siblings turned in surprise to see the oven acting up.

A pie tin was getting overheated, and if they didn't hurry up, the pie would explode!

"Oh no!", Luan asked, her usual smile now a worried frown.

Lincoln, forgetting his problems for a moment, rushed over to the oven with oven mittens and he took the tin out.

The pie nearly burned his arms, but he managed to juggle it long enough to put it on the table.

Luan sighed in relief and applauded.

"Bravo, Lincoln! That nearly blew out of control! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it? Because it nearly exploded?"

Lincoln rolled his eyes playfully.

"Gee, Luan! I wouldn't have figured that out!"

Luan smirked back.

"I guess "Pie" underestimated you!", she quipped, and laughed even harder now.

Lincoln smiled back.

Luan looked at the kitchen.

"Well, this needs to be cleaned, but you can leave that to me! Go help the others, Lincoln!"

She then patted his back.

"And don't worry! You'll find something!"

Lincoln, feeling a tad bit more confident, nodded his head and rushed to the next sister.

Luan went to her cleaning, and thought about Lincoln's help.

"He was really brave there… He could have easily burned himself if he wasn't careful… H'mm…"

 

 

Meanwhile, Lori and Leni were working together, Leni making Lori a circus master's outfit, and Lori working on a schedule for the performances.

She held the marker pen cap with her teeth as she tried to figure out an order.

"So, Luan should be the penultimate act, so as to calm the audience down before we unleash the grand finale… Which we still don't have.", she sighed, annoyed.

She then looked back at Leni, who was quickly sewing Lori's costume, band aids on her fingers, but a smile on her face.

She loved the simple beauty of taking fabrics and making something new.

It made her feel like an artist, like she was creating something that no one had ever done!

It made her feel less…

Dumb.

"Leni, what do you think?", Lori asked, hoping for some help from her BFF. "Should I have Lana at the beginning to warm them up, or do you think that the trapeze act is a better   
starter?"

Lori then turned before Leni could answer.

"Or maybe Lucy? No, wait, that's too slow for a beginning. She will have to wait."

Leni tried to answer a second time, but Lori continued.

"So maybe Lynn? Or maybe Luan after all? Or whatever Lincoln's going to do?"

Lori began to spiral again.

"Dang it! I can't come up with anything!"

Leni rushed to her sister and began to massage her shoulders.

Lori began to relax.

"Oh, boy. Yeah, that's the spot. Thanks, Leni."

Leni smiled.

"You're welcome!"

She turned to Lori.

"Don't worry, Lori! It's going to be ok! Just go with your gut!"

Lori smiled softly.

"Thanks, Leni. That's a great id…"

Leni then reconsidered her phrase.

"No, wait, that's gross! Ew! Just trust your instincts!"

Lori rolled her eyes, but she still appreciated the advice.

Leni then jumped up.

"Oh, wait! I almost forgot! I finished your outfit!"

She revealed a jet black waist coat and jacket with shining golden buttons, a red undershirt, a glistening silver rimmed top hat, black soft shoes for tap dancing, black ringmaster   
pants and finally, a cane with a diamond stud.

Lori's pupils turned big and her smile got wide.

"Leni! You made this for me?", Lori asked, infinitely touched.

Leni shuffled her feet shyly.

"Well, you ARE my best friend."

She got apologetic now, looking a little sad.

"Sorry the diamond isn't real, I couldn't find one. And all the buttons aren't real gold, they're painted, but I hope that that's ok…"

Leni couldn't finish since Lori grabbed her and gave her a huge hug, one that nearly choked Leni.

"Thanks, Leni.", Lori whispered gratefully.

Leni smiled.

"No problem!"

She hugged back.

"Now go and plan this show out!"

Lori saluted.

"Aye aye, captain!"

Lincoln finally entered, looking for a job.

"Guys, do you need any help?", he asked, looking around.

Then he saw Lori's new outfit, which she had put on in lightning speed.

"Woah! That looks great!", Lincoln said, and he meant it.

"Kind of looks like a magician!"

Lori, who knew that Lincoln loved magic acts, smiled proudly and bowed.

"A thank you, a thank you. Now, I could use your assistance."

She took Lincoln by the arm and led him to her schedule board, filled with marked out names and ideas.

"I'm trying to figure out our act schedule. Right now, we have Luan's clowning, Lynn's muscle man act, Lucy's fortune telling, Lana's lion taming, Lana and Lola's trapeze act and   
whatever you're going to do."

She eyed Lincoln curiously.

"Have you come up with something yet?"

Lincoln sighed and shook his head.

Lori frowned.

"Don't worry, little brother. You'll come up with something. You always do.", she said softly.

Those words of encouragement helped make Lincoln feel a bit better.

"Anyway, I need your help. I don't know how to organize this. I'm not… Very accustomed to asking for this, but can you help me?", she asked, a little cautious.

She liked being the one who people asked help from, not the one who needed it.

Lincoln looked at the board.

"H'mm…"

He took the marker and began to figure out an order.

"Well, we'd want Luan towards the end to calm them down before the big finish…"

Lori smiled to herself. "I guess great minds think alike.", she thought fondly.

Lincoln continued to order the list.

"Now, our biggest act so far is the trapeze, so that should be last for now. Lana needs time to prepare, so let's make her act first so she has time. That leaves us with Lynn and   
Lucy. Let's put Lynn before Lucy so that when Lucy finishes, Luan makes them laugh, making them forget about the scary stuff."

A few quick and rapid marker strokes, and the list was finished.

Lori sighed in relief.

"That's great! And it makes sense! Great job, Lincoln!"

She ruffled his hair playfully.

"The moment you come up with an act, tell me, ok?"

Lincoln nodded, and went over to Leni.

"What can I do for you, Leni?", Lincoln asked, before slipping on some clothes and landing with a thud on his back.

"Ow…", he said, and Leni propped him up.

"Whoops! Sorry, Linky! But you can help by trying on Lynn's muscle man outfit! It's almost finished, and you're the closest to her in size."

She gave him the weird outfit, that looked like a caveman's, a slightly bright orange with black spots, torn sleeves and long enough to cover Lynn's entire body.

It nearly reached Lincoln's feet, but it was just the right size.

"Good work! But it could be a little tighter."

Leni blinked in confusion.

Lincoln explained.

"Well, Lynn would want to really show her strength. By making the clothes tighter, Lynn's muscles will really show through."

Leni nodded, understanding.

"Now I get it! Great advice, Lincoln!"

Lincoln smiled, and took the outfit off.

Leni took a few minutes, but she made the adjustments and admired her handiwork.

"Do me another favor and run this by Lynn, please. She's probably working on her act, so she'll need to practice with it."

Lincoln nodded, but just before he could, Lynn walked in with some swords.

"Lori! Can I add sword swallowing to my act?"

Lori gasped and she snatched the swords, ticked off.

"Lynn! Absolutely not!"

Lynn protested.

"Come on! I can do it! I'm tough!"

"No, Lynn! You can't!"

Lori, unfortunately, pulled too hard, and the swords slipped and fell towards all the outfits.

"LINCOLN! LOOK OUT!", Lori, Leni and Lynn screamed, and they lunged towards Lincoln to push him away.

But Lincoln, with quick thinking, pushed the outfits to safety by stepping in front of them.

The swords missed and hit the floor while Lori, Leni and Lynn slammed into Lincoln, thus moving the outfits to safety.

The girls inspected Lincoln for injuries, terrified for their little brother.

"LINCOLN! ARE YOU HURT?", they asked, concerned.

Lincoln smiled reassuredly.

"Don't worry! I'm fine! And so are the outfits, thankfully!"

He pointed at the outfits, that didn't get even a single tear.

The sisters sighed in relief.

"Great job, Lincoln!", Leni said, and she hugged her brother.

Lincoln then gave Lynn the muscle man outfit.

"Here you go, Lynn! All ready!"

Lynn grinned excitedly.

"Oh yeah! Oh, this looks awesome! I will be even cooler in this!"

"Cooler? As in, you're already a cool person?", Lincoln playfully remarked.

Lynn shot back. "How would you know, Stinkoln?"

Lincoln smirked.

"Touche."

Lynn then grabbed Lincoln by the arm and dragged him to her room

"Come on! I need your help!"

As the two ran off, Luan walked by.

"Hey, how's the work? Is it a good "fit"?" Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?", she joked, prompting some groans.

Leni then smiled.

"Totes great, so far!"

"And if it wasn't for Lincoln, the outfits would have been ruined!", added Lori.

Luan looked confused.

"Why?", she asked.

"A bunch of swords nearly cut through them, but Lincoln stopped them."

Luan let out a scared yelp.

"Is Lincoln ok?", she asked, eyes darting around for him.

Lori calmed Luan down.

"Don't worry, he's without a scratch, we made sure of that. But while that happened, he kicked the outfits away!"

Leni nodded and pointed at the dresses.

"Yours is ready, Luan!"

Lori continued to praise Lincoln.

"He was amazing! He was so acrobatic! And he was so brave to make that last second decision! I… I don't know if I could do that.", she admitted, before backtracking. "I mean, of   
course I could!", she laughed nervously.

Luan nodded, intrigued.

"Brave in the face of danger, huh?"

 

 

 

Lynn spat in her hands and rubbed them together as she prepared to lift a barbell.

"Well, Lincoln. You ready to help me get even fitter?", she asked, looking at her brother.

Lincoln scratched his head.

"I must admit: I'm not sure why you need to. You're plenty tough!", he stated.

Lynn grabbed Lincoln by his shirt and lifted him to her face.

"Lincoln, think about it! This is a muscleman act! Not your regular, day to day Lynnsanity.", she said, as she put Lincoln back down and kissed her muscles.

"Modest much?", Lincoln sarcastically replied.

Lynn rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Anyway, I need to get even stronger! Enough to lift…", she revealed a picture of a giant statue of herself made of solid gold.

"This!"

Lincoln looked at the golden behemoth with wide eyes.

He pointed at it.

"Who even made that?"

"Ah…", Lynn began to answer as she flashbacked.

"Clyde!", Lynn shouted as she stormed into his room.

Clyde jumped up, alarmed, his pulse racing.

"Lynn! Don't scare me like that!", he panted heavily.

Suddenly, chisels and gold bars were thrown at him, and he fell down with a thud.

"Owch! What's going on?", he asked, dizzy.

Lynn, posing like Usain Bolt, looked at him expectantly.

"Duh! I want you to make a statue of me made from gold! I mean, it's pretty obvious!", she laughed.

Clyde got up, still surprised by the whole situation.

"Why?"

Lynn looked at him with a blank expression.

"Uh, why not? It's a statue made of gold, Clyde. Who doesn't want one?"

Clyde raised his hand.

Lynn rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I should have seen that coming. Look, you making a statue of me or not?", she raised an eyebrow, hoping he'll finally play along.

Clyde began to chisel.

"Hey, I never said I won't! You're a friend, after all. But I must say, I don't think I will be able to capture your exquisite beauty with just a statu…", Clyde didn't finish his sentence   
before he dropped the chisel and gasped.

Lynn looked back at him with eyes as wide as pie tins.

They said absolutely nothing, and blushed wildly.

The flashback ended, and Lynn tugged at her collar.

"I HAVE NO IDEA! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED! I JUST FOUND IT IN THE TOILET! ISN'T THAT THE DARNDEST THING?!", she screamed defensively, hoping the lies would   
cover the real story.

Lincoln looked at the picture and noticed a signature.

"Property of Clyde McBri…"

Lynn ate the picture.

"You know, I always found photographs to be passé. Digital, now that's where it's at!"

Lincoln stared at his sister, confused.

"…Ok…"

Lynn then changed the subject.

"Anyhow, you gonna help me or what?"

Lincoln high fived his sister.

"You know it!"

Lynn pumped her fist.

"Woop! Woop! Woop! Lynnsanity is in the house!"

She took out a boombox and pressed play.

"Eye of the Tiger" by "Survivor" began to play as Lynn lifted the first barbell.

"Ok, Lynn, according to your training schedule, you need to lift this 100 times while I shout encouraging things in the voice of a 1980's boxing trainer.", Lincoln stated, and he   
cleared his throat.

"Ok, kid, you wanna go the distance? You gonna have to toughen up and wisen up, and teach that crowd that…", but Lincoln couldn't finish, because Lynn had dropped the barbell.

"Lynnsanity? You in the house?", Lincoln asked, confused.

Lynn turned off the boombox.

"Lynnsanity is in the driveway. I need a different tune. This is so cliché!"

She put "Gonna Fly Now" by Bill Conty on, and lifted the barbell again.

Lincoln shrugged and continued to train her.

"Ok. So, Lynnsanity, you might be the best in the lower leagues, but this is nationals! You wanna be the all time great? You gotta stop thinking, and start doing…", but again,   
Lincoln's trainer routine was interrupted by Lynn.

"What now?", he asked as she went to the boombox.

"This is also really cliché! I need a song I don't normally hear.", she remarked, and she put "Believer" by Imagine Dragons.

She then lifted the barbell again and looked at Lincoln.

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

Lincoln sputtered in disbelief, and then, resigned to his fate, sighed and went back to his role.

"Ok, now listen to me, kid. You gonna get up, you gonna get right up and you gonna fight till the end, ya hear me? You gonna knock em dead till they know your name…"

Lynn dropped the barbell.

"You know, this song isn't that great…"

Lincoln ripped some hair off his scalp.

"Holey Moly, Lynn! Just choose a song! I've got so much to do, and you're wasting my time with this!"

Lynn crossed her arms defensively, looking away from him.

"You know, I'm not doing it on purpose! No need to shout!"

Lincoln face palmed.

"Lynn, you realize that I still have no act, right? I'm going to be letting everyone down, so at least let me help before I do that!"

Lynn glared at him, annoyed.

"Don't be like that, Stinkoln! You're going to find an act, ok?"

Lincoln pointed at her, angry.

"How? How when you won't stop wasting time? How, when I clearly have no talent! But apparently, you don't care!"

Lynn grabbed Lincoln by his shoulders.

"I'm only wasting time because I'm nervous, ok?"

Lincoln stopped talking, and Lynn let him go and looked away, trying to avoid his gaze.

Silence overtook the room, and then Lynn tried again.

"I'm nervous, ok? I've never lifted a statue before, it sounds practically impossible! And maybe if I had a few days to do it, but I only have a few hours! And…"

Lynn looked down, ashamed.

"I don't know if I can."

Lincoln looked at Lynn with sympathetic eyes.

"Oh, Lynn. I'm sorry. I was so caught up with my problems I didn't realize that my sisters might be struggling as well."

Lynn looked up, a wry smile stitched on her face.

"Well, I mean, it was kind of obvious I was struggling. Since when do I ask for help?"

Lincoln chuckled in agreement.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Why did you start, though?"

Lynn thought back to a few weeks ago, when she had pulled a muscle, and Clyde, Paula and Lori had helped her.

"A few good friends explained to me that it's ok to ask for help. And…"

She looked at Lincoln, now trying to motivate him.

"You are way stronger than you think you are, Lincoln. You think you're weak because I always beat you, but you don't notice how close you come. I have to try my best these days   
to beat you. All this time, you've been slowly improving. If you wanted to, you could join one of my teams!", she said encouragingly, grinning.

Lincoln couldn't believe his ears.

Did Lynn really think that?

"You… You really think that… That I can do this? That I'm stronger than I seem? I only have a few hours to come up with an act! Are… Are you sure?"

Lynn smiled.

"I'm not sure. I know."

She then punched his arm.

"For luck."

Lincoln gave her a smug look.

"Don't need it."

Lynn smiled proudly.

"THAT'S the spirit!"

Lynn then looked at the barbells and other equipment she had laid on the floor.

She gulped for a second, still unsure if she could get fit in time.

Lincoln, trying to find a song on his phone, encouraged her.

"You can do this, Lynn! I know you can! This is for Dad, remember?"

Lynn smiled back softly, her mind set on succeeding.

"Ok. For Dad."

For the next half hour, Lincoln trained Lynn, as the first OP of One Punch Man played on loop.

"Man, this song slaps, Lincoln!", Lynn crowed as she continued to do push ups.

Lincoln nodded in agreement. "It sure does!"

The two siblings continued to encourage each other, Lynn throwing ideas at Lincoln for his act and Lincoln training Lynn.

While none of the ideas she offered worked, Lincoln appreciated his sisters help.

He may have had problems with her in the past, but Lynn really was a great sister, and he would always love her.

"That, and she can be really fun when she wants to", he thought, as Lynn preformed a victory dance when she finished her thousandth push up.

"I'm not even breaking a sweat.", Lynn bragged as Lincoln gave her a bottle of water.

"She is incredible! Amazing! One might go even so far as to say… She's mediocre.", Lincoln joked, earning a whack on the head from Lynn.

"Shut up!", she jokingly threatened, and the two laughed calmly.

As Lincoln was about to leave, Lynn saw that it was noon, and offered to make Lincoln some lunch.

"We can share some meatball subs, if you want.", she offered nicely.

Lincoln had never tried one, but he decided to humor his sister. After all, she had turned out to be a major help.

 

 

A few minutes later, the two were eating pleasantly on the kitchen table, Lincoln finding his sub to be surprisingly delicious.

"I see why you eat these now! They're really good!", Lincoln stated, as he finished his up.

Lynn rested on her chair, satisfied. She picked her teeth with her finger and sighed.

"Yep. They're the best!"

Lynn then changed tone and looked at Lincoln with gratitude and concern.

"Hey, thanks for all the help back there. I owe you one."

Lincoln waved her off.

"No problemo!"

Lynn then put her hand over his shoulder.

"Now, what are you going to do? It's already about 12:15. The more time passes, the less you have for an act. I don't want you to fail."

Lincoln furrowed his brows.

"There's the problem: I still don't know what I could do."

Suddenly, Lincoln's ears twitched as he heard a familiar sound from the vents.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew this sound, this faint voice coming from the insides of the house.

Lynn noticed this, and looked at Lincoln for an answer.

Lincoln raised a finger to indicate for Lynn to be quiet, and he moved towards the vent.

"Is anyone there?", he asked, but no one answered.

Lincoln turned back to Lynn, who was curiously watching, and shrugged.

"Seems like I misheard…"

"Allow me to correct you, big brother."

Lincoln jumped onto Lynn's arms as they were both startled by Lucy's sudden appearance.

The goth girl looked surprisingly sad, not her usual melancholy, but a rather lost sadness, one that made both Lincoln and Lynn feel bad.

"What's wrong, Luce?", Lincoln asked, concerned for his little sister.

"Sigh.", Lucy said, frustrated. "I was practicing my act in the vents, and…"

Lynn interrupted.

"Why? You could have done it in the house!", Lynn pointed out.

Lucy, without saying a word, pointed to the living room, where everyone was still rushing about: Lola and Lana were fighting, Lily was making business calls, Lisa was carrying a ton   
of paper, Luna was practicing with her axe, Lori was walking around talking loudly on her phone, convincing her friends to attend, Luan was riding her unicycle and Leni was tripping over clothes.

Lynn nodded, understanding now.

"Never mind, Luce. I see the problem now."

Lucy continued to explain.

"Anyway, here's the deal: I accidentally dropped my tarot cards, and they're stuck on one of the support beams of the basement's roof."

Lincoln knew that they couldn't reach those with a ladder, which meant that they would have to somehow get them from above.

In other words, from the vents.

Lincoln knew that he was running out of time, and that his other sisters also needed help, but he refused to allow Lucy's act to be ruined.

At the very least, he would make sure that his siblings' acts went off perfectly.

"Ok, Lucy. I'll help.", he said affectionately, and after getting some rope, he entered the vents.

Lynn joined too.

"I don't really have any training to do right now, so I can help too!", she proposed, and Lucy shrugged.

"I suppose.", she said, feeling glum.

Lincoln, Lucy and Lynn crawled until they reached their intended location.

"Here we are. This is where I dropped my cards.", Lucy sighed. "I hate feeling helpless like this. If I was a vampire, none of this would happen, but Mom had to intervene!"

She threw her arms up in the air, annoyed.

"One bite from one of my bats, and this would be all over in a moment!"

Lincoln looked at the drop and gulped.

"That could be quite the fall.", Lynn observed.

Lincoln shook with fear.

"Yeah, you could get splattered all over the floor, organs, blood and bones flying every which way, your brain slowly ripping itself out of its skull." Lucy deadpanned.

Lincoln's heart beat rapidly.

"I'm getting dizzy just looking down there! Hoo boy, thank goodness I'm not the one doing this, because I'd barf!", Lynn added, her finger raised up.

Lincoln got a little green.

"This could easily be the last time we see you.", Lucy stated.

"Look out! Dead man walking!", Lynn announced.

Lincoln snapped.

"Jeez, guys, stop! This is frightening as it is!", he complained. "Show some concern, will ya?"

"Wait, you think we're not scared for you?", they both asked.

Lynn and Lucy suddenly clung onto Lincoln, squeezing the living daylights out of him.

"We're terrified for you!", they cried, showing surprising emotion.

Lincoln, while he didn't appreciate the air being squeezed out of him, appreciated the gesture and comforted them.

"Don't worry, guys! I'll be fine!", he said, before looking down again and gulping.

"I hope…"

Lynn tied the rope to his body, and slowly lowered him down, Lucy trying her best to help.

The basement slowly appeared before his eyes, and he scoured for the cards.

His eyes searched the room.

"Dust, spider webs, dust, spider webs, dust, spider webs…"

"Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good…", Lynn remarked, surprisingly eliciting a small monotone laugh from Lucy.

Lincoln looked back up.

"Guys, really? I need to focus!"

Lynn apologized sheepishly, her smile now embarrassed.

"Sorry, Lincoln."

Lincoln continued to look, but all he saw were dust bunnies, cracks on the wall and…

A HA!

"The cards!", Lincoln cried.

"You found them?", Lucy asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

"Aw yeah! Score for Lincoln! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!", she cheered, pumping her fist.

"Yeah, I found them! Right on… The other side of the room.", Lincoln remarked, suddenly realizing what a pain in the tuchus this was going to be.

"Yipee…", he said, an annoyed frown on his face.

Lucy sighed and Lynn stopped cheering.

"A minor setback!", she tried to encourage.

Lincoln snapped back.

"A minor setback?! This involves you guys somehow swinging me from one side to the next without killing me!"

He crossed his arms.

"This is impossible!"

Lucy looked down, resigned to her fate.

"Sorry, Dad…", she whispered, dejected.

Lynn looked at all this and realized she had to find a way to motivate Lincoln.

If she didn't, Lucy wouldn't be able to do her act, and dad won't have his present.

"Come on, Lynnsanity, think!", she ordered herself, tongue sticking out in concentration.

Finally, it came to her.

It was insane, but…

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

She looked down at Lincoln, and, with as much passion as she could muster…

"Tododododododododododotodoto PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM…", she aggressively hummed the Mission Impossible theme, practically shouting the   
melody out.

Lincoln looked at her like she had just announced that she had murdered her favorite brick, Roger.

"…What?", He said, confused.

Lynn stopped for a second.

"It's to motivate you! You can do this, Lincoln! Just think of it like a movie! You have to win in the end!", she said.

"Well, that's incorrect. Not all movies end happily…", Lucy began to correct her, but Lynn ignored and went back to her intense humming.

Lincoln doubted this would work…

But everyone was counting on him.

So he began to hum too.

"PWAM PWAM, PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM, PWAM PWAM, PWAM PWAM, PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM, PWAM PWAM…"

Lucy, realizing this was the only way, sighed and joined in.

"Tododo (PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM), Todod (PWAM PWAN PWAN PWAM PWAM), Todod (PWAM PWAM PWAM PWAM) Todo..."

As the three siblings hummed, Lynn and Lucy swung Lincoln to the other side.

His body edged closer and closer to the ledge, his body sweating in panic.

The singing intensified as he reached the ledge, the three practically shouting the song out now, making silly noises with their mouths and perhaps getting into it a little too much.

As Lucy continued to hum and Lynn made beatbox noises, Lincoln reached out for the ledge, his hand barely holding on.

"Guys, I'm almost there!", he called, and he slowly reached for the cards.

Suddenly, his eyes darted downwards, and his heart leaped into his throat: He could see the ground, but it was so far away.

He…

He could die.

Lincoln's eyes grew wide and his sweat did not subside.

His whole self quaked with fear, but he refused to give up.

He reached for the tickets, his hand almost there, but his vision was so blurry, he nearly grabbed the air.

"You can do it Lincoln! We believe in you! We love you!", Lynn and Lucy cried, before resuming the song.

Lincoln, encouraged, resumed singing too, and reached again, determined to succeed.

"I won't fail you, guys.", he thought, and, with one fell swoop, grabbed the tickets.

He signaled them to pull him up, and when he arrived, they finished the song.

"TA DANNNNNNNNNNNN!", they cheered, and they all hugged, despite the cramped breathing space.

"Way to go, Stinkoln!", Lynn congratulated, giving him a friendly noogie.

As Lincoln fixed his hair, Lucy hugged him with a rare small smile.

"I really owe you one, big brother."

Lincoln tussled her hair.

"Not at all, Lucy. Not at all."

Disaster averted, Lincoln went off to help Lisa, who was managing the finances for the show.

As he walked over to her, Lynn and Lucy (who were climbing out of the vent) were confronted by Luan, who was wiping some pie off her face.

"Hey guys! How's it going?", she asked cheerfully, brushing some flour off her fingers.

"It's going great!", Lynn remarked, as Lucy silently nodded. "I'm all trained and ready (I just need to pick up the statue one or twice) and Lucy has her show just about wrapped up!"

"All thanks to Lincoln.", Lucy added, less melancholy than usual.

Luan smiled. "I knew he'd be a great help."

She then got serious and lowered her voice.

"Has he found an act yet?", she asked, a tiny hint of concern hidden in her tone.

Lynn and Lucy's positive vibes disappeared and they sadly shook their heads.

Luan stomped her foot.

"Dang it! This isn't good! Lincoln's going to feel terrible if he can't come up with something!"

Lynn clapped back with a positive outlook.

"Well, I wouldn't worry, Luan! I think he's coming close! And besides, he really helped us! If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be even trying my act!"

Luan was surprised to hear Lynn admit to something like that.

"She was really taking steps forwards", she thought happily.

Lucy added her own valuation.

"And if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even have an act. He was way stronger and braver than I thought he was."

Realizing that could be seen as an insult, Lucy apologized to… No one.

"Sorry. That was harsh."

Luan tapped her chin in concentration.

"Stronger? Braver? I think I'm getting an idea!", she announced brightly.

Lynn and Lucy stared at her silently.

"…Well, what?"

Luan looked at them and laughed nervously.

"Well, I don't know yet, but I'm getting an inkling of an idea! I guess you could say I need to "Pie" harder!", she joked, and she threw a pie at Lynn's direction.

Lynn ducked, and the pie flew out a window, spun onto its other side, hit a trampoline that lay on Mr. Grouse's house, and flew back in onto Luan's face.

"…Didn't see that coming!", she said, and she went back to practicing.

 

Meanwhile, Lincoln stood by as Lisa called one potential customer after another, sometimes to… Negative results.

"No, you are not welcome! I don't care if it's humid! You aren't invited! You keep making amateurish mistakes, fumbles that a Rhinella Marina would be ashamed of!"

She then turned to Lincoln, covering the still chattering phone.

"That's a Cane Toad. They… Well, I'll tell you when you're older."

Lincoln was befuddled by this as Lisa continued her call, her enraged rant rising in volume.

"YOU'RE INANE! ASNINE! VACUOUS! I'D RATHER DIE THEN HAVE YOU OVER! SCRATCH THAT, I'D RATHER WATCH "BLARNEY THE DINOSAUR" THEN HAVE YOU OVER! AND IF I SEE YOU   
AROUND THE PREMISES, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT THE PO PO!"

Lisa finished spitting out insults, and tried to angrily hang up, but it being a modern phone, she had to press the button lightly.

Lincoln gave her a questioning look, wondering who the heck had made her so angry.

"Oh, you must be curious as to the identity of my arch nemesis.", Lisa observed, and she casually told him. "It's the weather machine. That infernal device wouldn't be able to tell   
the difference between a blustery day and a minor zephyr!"

Lincoln shrugged at the odd information (Lisa was quite the bizarre sister) and he resumed his help.

"While I am not sure how you can help me, brother unit, I do appreciate the endeavor.", she stated, and she piled up papers, trying to figure out how many audience members they   
had.

Lincoln stared at all this and felt quite useless. Lisa was clearly handling it quite well. What could he bring to the table?

He lazily shuffled his feet, watching the paint dry, feeling the life slowly sucking itself from him.

"Lisa, you sure there's nothing I could do? I might need to help Luna, Lana and Lola, you know.", he stated, hoping that Lisa would take the hint that he needs something to do.

Lisa scratched at her chin, pondering the problem.

"H'mm… Nope, I would say I am very fine indeed. I guess you can go."

Lincoln felt a little bad that he couldn't give Lisa any help, but he was happy to finally leave and do something meaningful.

But as he turned to leave, his feet already halfway out of the living room, his ears caught a familiar sound.

Lisa, realizing what it was, pretended to ignore it.

"I am in exemplary shape, Lincoln! No need to question my integrity!", she blurted, trying to avoid the feeling of helplessness.

But Lincoln had been a big brother for 8 years now.

He was more than experienced.

He knew when his little sisters were sad.

He knew when his little sisters wanted to play with him.

And he definitely knew when they were hungry.

Lincoln walked up to Lisa, and, with a fake cooing face, began to fuss over her.

"Aw!", he clasped his hands in delight.

He picked Lisa up, to her disliking.

"Is Lisa-Wisa an eency weency hungry wungry?", he said, booping her nose.

Lisa frowned, annoyed.

"(Sigh), Yes, I might just be a little… Peckish.", she said, hating the feeling. "I assume you want to continue bombarding me with brainless "baby" words.", she bit back.

Lincoln laughed and carried her into the kitchen on his arms.

"I'm just messing with you, Lisa! It's what we do."

Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Tradition is just a doltish excuse for obtuse behavior.", she remarked, still annoyed with the coddling.

Lincoln smiled fondly as he took out the bread loaf and prepared the crustless PB&J sandwich he had made thousands of times…

(Lisa cleared her throat)

("Mr. Author, I apologize for my interruption, but I must correct you: Seeing as I have only been alive for almost five years, and since, even with my hyper intelligence, I have only   
really caught on the all too necessary physical need to eat when I was about three years old, then the accurate statement would be to say "Hundreds of days", not "Thousands of   
days".")

(Oh, I see. My bad.)

Lincoln smiled fondly as he took out the bread loaf and prepared the crustless PB&J sandwich he had made hundreds of times…

("Thank you")

(You're welcome)

And as he made it, Lisa crossed her arms, giving him a frustrated look.

"You know, I don't like being treated like a four year old."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

"You realize you are one, though?"

Lisa closed her eyes and brushed this off.

"Sibling unit, you and I know very well that I am not your average four year old."

Lincoln pretended to agree, but there was something off about the way he said it. "Yep, I have to agree: You're not an average four year old."

Lisa nodded firmly, her eyes still closed.

"Precisely… Woah!", she asserted, before finding herself being raised up in the air.

Lincoln brought her up to his face, and kissed her on the nose.

"You're the greatest four year old ever!", he complimented, and he gave her a raspberry on the belly button.

Lisa, despite herself, giggled from the tickling sensation of the raspberry, and found herself appreciative of the declaration of love.

She was put down on the floor, and she tugged at her glasses, a little shy now.

"…Thank you, Lincoln. That… That was very… Nice of you.", tried as she might, she couldn't hide the little bits of emotion that broke through when she said that.

Lisa didn't always like being coddled…

But sometimes it was nice.

Lincoln finished making the sandwich, and having cut the crusts off ("Whoop, I think you missed some on the diagonal left corner") ("Oh, right!"), he placed it on her workspace.

Lisa happily ate away at her snack and smiled at Lincoln.

"Salutations, dear brother unit. This is most useful to my ever developing brain."

Lisa waved him off.

"Now, go off and continue your journey!", she ordained, and Lincoln walked towards Lana's room.

 

In Lana's room, Lincoln found a scene that most would fail to believe: A 6 year old girl, with shot blond hair, in a lion tamer's outfit, and a steak on a fishing line, trying her best to calm a lion.

Lincoln panicked at first, and he was about to leap in front of Lana to protect her, but Luna, who was also in the room, quickly extended a hand to stop him.

"No worries, bro! Lana's got it!", Luna calmed him down.

She then whispered in his ear.

"Besides, I'm here to make sure nothing goes wrong."

She then returned to her normal volume.

"That and choose the track for this act! I'm thinking we'll have some traditional African music, followed by a talking drum as a replacement to the snare drum. What do you think?",   
she asked as she sat on a chair with her laptop.

Lincoln pointed at Lana, who was petting the lion.

"Lana, you sure you don't need any help?"

Lana nodded, a simple smile on her face.

She closed her eyes cockily and tapped her top hat.

"I'm a ok, Linky! Go ahead and help Luna!"

Lincoln shrugged and he stood next to Luna.

Luan, smiling, offered her lap, and Lincoln shyly sat on it.

Somehow, Luna always had such a calming presence for him. His doubts almost melted away when he felt her hands surround his waist, their warmth slowing his heartbeat down.

As Luna sampled track after track, she ran her hand through Lincoln's hair and whispered silently, doing her best to keep the problem between them.

"You come up with an act?", she asked softly, knowing that the subject was sure to be sensitive.

Lincoln sighed wearily, tipping Luna off immediately.

"Nothing. Nada. Zip. I can't come up with anything."

He was clearly hurting, his feeling of achievement from helping his sisters dwarfed from letting them and his parents down.

Luna caressed his face.

"You'll come up with something. Or you won't."

Lincoln gave her an odd look.

She smiled reassuradly back, almost like a guardian angel.

"…When they hear of all your help… Most of this wouldn't be possible without you."

Lincoln shook his head.

"I haven't done enough."

Luna lightly kissed the top of his head.

"You've done more than enough."

She hugged him.

"Don't beat yourself up. Every little thing is going to be all right. I promise."

Lincoln considered this.

Maybe he had done enough.

Maybe…

He was enough.

He smiled softly as he realized that he did help, but what he didn't know was that things were about to spiral downwards.

"LANA! LANA! LANA!", Lola screamed as she ran in, startling Lincoln, Luna and most importantly, Lana.

"We need to train on our act! We're running out of time!", she ordered, and because the diva had her eyes closed, she slipped on some of the steak juice that spilled on the floor,   
sending her spiraling towards Lana.

Lana jumped up as Lola slammed into her, and the steak flew up and landed on the twins, with the Lion now afraid and hungry.

The Lion glared hungrily at the twins and he lunged at them, the little girls screaming in fear and holding each other tight.

They say that in life or death situations, we forget who we are.

We forget our flaws.

Our failures.

Our small problems.

What once seemed so big becomes small.

What once seemed important is forgotten.

What once seemed obvious was now in danger of leaving forever.

Lincoln was still unsure.

Lincoln was still concerned.

Lincoln was still disappointed.

But…

Lincoln forgot all that.

His life was meaningless now.

His fears, his concerns, his doubts…

They were simply silent noises in an endless rain.

His heart raced, his chest clenched, and his eyes welled up with tears.

Two seconds passed like two hours.

But in those two seconds…

Everything Lincoln thought, wanted, feared…

Disappeared.

All that mattered…

Were his little sisters.

He leapt meters into the air, flipped, and landed on his feet in front of his sisters.

Any sense of self preservation or logic were gone.

He could die now.

It didn't matter.

They wouldn't.

That did.

Lola and Lana screamed as Luna scooped them up and held them tight.

"Lincoln!", her voice came out in slow motion.

She extended her hand.

"Come back!"

Lincoln turned, knowing he had to escape.

But he was too close to the lion, who was right in front of him, enraged.

Lincoln's eyes darted around in fear, until he saw it: The trapezes hanging from the ceiling.

It was his only hope.

He leapt onto Lola's bed and bounced up to the trapeze, narrowly missing.

"LINCOLN!", his sisters screamed, fearing the worst.

Lincoln leapt again, holding his breath.

"Do it for them… Do it for them… Do it for them…"

He reached the trapeze in the last second, the lion scratching the bed instead of him.

Lincoln held onto the trapeze and swung from it to the other, catching onto it maginificently.

He was far away from the lion now, and he had hope.

If he could just get to the door…

"Jump Lincoln!", Luna shouted, refusing to leave without him.

Lola and Lana weaped silently, trembling from the sight.

Lincoln took a deep breath…

Could he do it?

No…

He had to.

He HAD to.

If he didn't…

He wouldn't be able to help them.

He could never trade them away.

This life…

Hard as it could be…

It was too beautiful to give up.

He had…

No.

He WANTED to continue.

Even when it's hard…

He wouldn't give up.

Never.

"…Whatever it takes.", he said, and he leapt towards the door.

He narrowly avoided the lion, Luna ran out with the twins, and they closed the door.

The Lion began to scratch the door, and the kids trembled until…

SHWOOT!

A collapsing sound was heard as the Lion fainted.

The kids were surprised by this. Who saved them?

Lori entered from outside with a tranquillizer, panting heavily.

"Stop… Giving… Me… Heart… Attacks…", she panted out, before collapsing.

 

As the siblings all calmed down, everyone looked at Lincoln.

No one had to convince Lana to give up on the lion taming act (and animal control arrived surprisingly quickly), but now they were down to 4 acts, and Lincoln still didn't have   
anything.

Lori gave him a sympathetic look. "You know, you don't have to preform…"

Lincoln threw his arms up in the air. "Of course I do! I haven't done anything!"

The other sisters gasped.

"What are you talking about?", Lynn asked in shock.

"You've totes done so much!", Leni added.

"You've helped us all so much.", Lucy said.

"In big ways…", Lola and Lana said.

"And small ways.", Lisa interjected.

Luna smiled. "You've helped more than anyone else today!"

Lori comforted him. "The show wouldn't be going on without you!"

Suddenly, Lily came in with tons of sold ticket stubs.

She put them on the table and gave everyone a sassy look.

Lori looked back at Lily with surprise.

"Well, you and Lily. Darn, girl! You did all that while I was protecting Lincoln?"

Lincoln looked grateful for all the love, but he still felt unfulfilled.

Until Luan broke in.

"Wait! I know what act Lincoln can do!"

Everyone looked at Luan expectantly. "What, Luan? What's your idea?"

Luan smiled brightly. "Throughout the day, Lincoln proved that he was brave, daring, determined… He was willing to do anything to help!"

She smiled at him softly.

"He was fearless, and he was incredible."

She then ran out of the room.

"So I was thinking of what he could do and…"

She pushed an unknown object.

"I think I've "blown" this problem wide open! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?"

She unveiled a giant cannon with Lincoln's name printed over it.

Lincoln rubbed his eyes in disbelief as the cannon stood before him.

It was…

Kind of awesome.

Lori wasn't sure though. "A human cannon? After all he's been though today? Are you sure, Luan?"

Luna had to agree. "Yeah, dude. That could be wicked dangerous!"

As all the other sisters chimed in, Lincoln interrupted.

He caressed the cannon and looked up to Luan, who nodded softly.

Lincoln looked inside his heart.

Deep down, he knew…

He was better than he thought he was.

"Guys…", he said, looking at his sisters.

"…I can do this. For our parents, for you guys…"

He smiled.

"For me."

He made up his mind.

"I CAN do this!"

His sisters, deciding to give him the chance, cheered for him and hugged him.

"Ok, Lincoln.", Lori said. "We'll take safety precautions, but this will be your act. The final act of the evening."

Luna gave him a thumbs up.

"You've got this, bro."

Lynn nodded.

"More than got this!"

Luan smiled softly as she put a comforting hand on Lincoln's shoulder.

"You're gonna be the "bomb" Lincoln!", she laughed at her quip.

Lincoln smiled. "Thanks, guys."

He raised his fist.

"Let's do this for Mom and Dad!"

 

The show was a complete success that night!

Every act went off without a hitch!

Lisa and Lily had managed to gather quite the crowd, but Lori's direction kept everyone on point.

Luna's music ensured a great atmosphere, Leni's costumes were absolutely fabulous, and the acts were all received with massive applause!

Luan's comedy ("It's actually kind of funny!", Luna commented), Lynn's muscleman act ("I hope no one notices I made that statue...", Clyde muttered under his breath), Lucy's   
fortune telling ("It's good to know that I'm going to die in a fabulous way!", Rusty said), Lola and Lana's trapeze act ("I wonder if I could be that acrobatic", Lori wondered): Every act   
was captivating and magical, and the crowd went wild for each one!

Finally, only one act was left: Lincoln's human cannonball act.

As Luna played the snare drum, Luan and Lincoln appeared on the makeshift stage they had all erected, standing next to the cannon.

Lincoln was wearing a colorful tuxedo and a shiny black top hat that glinted in the evening sun.

Luan, meanwhile, was wearing an extravagant, silly-looking and vaguely fancy hat with all sorts of colors on it. Red, pink, yellow, orange, Phthalocyanine Blue… You name it! She   
also wore a dress of similar attributes, as extravagant, silly and colorful as the hat. Truly, a matching pair!

Finally, a big fat novelty cigar hung off from her mouth, the glowing tip sparkling with all sorts of colors.

"For out final act, my little brother Lincoln Loud is going to "blow" your minds! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?", Luan quipped.

She pointed at the cannon.

"He will enter this cannon, and he will be shot out onto a neighboring house, where we have placed a trampoline AND a safety net in case anything happens. We also have a… Third   
precaution." She added, with a small smile.

Next to the trampoline and the safety net was an anxious Lori with a ginormus baseball glove.

"Catch him, catch him, catch him!", she told herself worriedly.

Having finished her explanation, Luan grabbed Lincoln by the hand and twirled him around for a bit before tossing him high into the air.

Lincoln looked at the audience, and, feeling the confidence surging, he tipped his hat and winked at them, before putting the hat back on in the last second.

He landed in the cannon and Luan spun it right round baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round. She then closed her eyes and stopped it with her pinky, the   
cannon miraculously aimed to the correct trajectory. She gave a huge wink and cracked "Let's "lighten" the load of this cannon!", before leaning down to light the fuse with the big   
novelty cigar in her mouth.

She plugged her ears and closed her eyes with a huge grin of anticipation as the fuse slowly burned down.

Lincoln took a deep breath.

"I know I can, I know I can, I know I can…"

The fuse set off, the cannon exploded, expanding in ridiculous fashion, almost like a corkscrew popping out of a shaken bottle, and Lincoln screamed "I KNOW I CAN!", as he flew   
far off into the night sky where he vanished with a twinkle.

"Totes incredible!", Leni commented, amazed by the act.

"…Beautiful…", Lucy said, a single tear running down her cheek.

"Meh!", Lola said, with a roll of her eyes.

Lana gave her a stink eye.

"Kidding! Kidding! Sheesh, take a joke, will you?", Lola replied.

Luan, covered from head to toe in soot from the cannon blast as she watches her brother vanish with a twinkle, uses a hand to shade her face.

"He just left? Well, "soot" yourself, Lincoln!", she joked one last time. and then she, the other sisters and the crowd ran to the other side to see Lincoln land beyond the yard they   
had prepared.

Lori began to panic.

"Luan! What the heck? Why is he not here?"

She began to run off, only for Luan to place her in an exact location.

"Trust me, dear sister. I know what I'm doing.", she said, her eyes closed.

Lincoln flew past some more backyards into the city, and he began to get concerned, but then he saw it: Luan had planned for an extra twist, and had installed a GIANT trampoline   
on Flip's stomach as he laid down on the entrance to his store.

He fell onto it, nearly sinking in, before bounding back to the yard where all the sisters were, like a shooting star, until he was caught by Luan, who had slipped on a cartoonishly   
large baseball glove.

While the boy was a tad dizzy, he bowed down.

The crowd exploded with thunderous applause, and all the sisters bowed, happy.

"We did it!", Lincoln cried. "We're sending our parents on vacation!"

They all cheered, not noticing the lit fuse on Luan's cigar.

Luan smelled the burning fuse and looked down.

"…Well, I always did want to go off with a "bang"! Get i…"

But the cigar blew up before she could finish, and the loud siblings all got covered with soot.

Luan then looked at the screen.

"Well, that was a real "blast", but I've been near two dangerous explosions, so… That's al folks!", she finished and fainted onto the ground.

Lana looked at Lisa.

"Who's she talking to?"

Lisa shrugged.

"Beats me."

 

 

Post Credit Scene:

Royal Woods.

While on the outside it may seem presentable, in reality, the town is filled to the brim with dangerous criminals.

Criminals who feast on the innocent and prey on their misfortune.

And there's one now!

The old man edged back slowly, clutching onto his bag tightly as he was cornered into an alleyway by a big burly mugger with a disgusting smile.

"Give me the money, old man!", he demanded.

The old man shook in fright, and, knowing he had no choice, he began to hand over the bag.

The mugger reached for it, but somehow didn't notice the figure slowly lowering herself from a web strand.

Suddenly...

THWIP! 

The bag sailed out of his hands and was thrown back at the old man.

The mugger turned, and he shouted in anger as he laid eyes on the city's hero:

SPIDER-WOMAN!

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will be in a short hiatus for now. Sorry if that's saddening, it's just I have to focus on some other projects. It will be back soon, promise!


	5. Beach Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Louds have a beach day. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Direct prequel to "Summer of Destiny".

“Ok, fam, we’re here!”

The intoxicating smell of the sea, the nearly invisible but ever affecting wind of the beach, and the coarse but somehow soft feeling of sand washed over the Loud Family as they stepped out of Vanzilla, armed in beach equipment and beach clothes.

“Come on, Kids, let’s head out, time’s a wastin’, day’s a burnin’…”, Lynn Sr. called out, eyes closed and a satisfied smile on his face.

“Car’s a rollin’…”, Rita pointed out, before the two Louds realized what was going on.

“Enjoy yourselves in the meantime, kids!”, Lynn Sr. Hollered as he chased the van down the gravelly road.

“Please keep your shenanigans down to 11 minutes!”, Rita requested as she too chased the car.

“We’ll try!”, Lincoln answered back before turning to his sisters. “Shouldn’t be hard. If this was a special, Nick would be advertising the heck out of it!”

With 11 kids and a LOT to unpack, the loud siblings were very aware of the little time they actually could have on the beach today.

Thankfully, years of training had made unpacking incredibly easy, so in no time, they were all ready for a day of fun at the beach!

“Ok, everyone!”, Lori called for attention, and as ever, all eyes were on her.

Lori took a moment to appreciate it. Being the eldest was a responsibility, but it was LITERALLY the best!

After all, she LITERALLY knows best!

“We can all go off and do our thing, just remember the three rules: We go back to this spot on our beach blanket if we can’t find the others…”

“That’s never going to happen! We could never get lost here!”, Leni said, and suddenly she looked back at the horizon.

“Oh no! I can’t see you Lori! I’m lost!”, Leni cried out in fear, her body shaking in response to the terrible situation she was in.

Lori sighed and turned her around with a tired expression.

“Leni…”, she drew her attention, and Leni looked around.

“Oh, never mind!”, Leni called out, a tad embarrassed, a blush on her cheeks.

Lori cleared her throat, rolling her eyes at Leni’s ditziness, and she resumed her sibling talk.

“Anyhow, come back here if you are lost and come to me if you need any help, of course…”, she said with a little vanity.

Lori was not only proud of being the eldest, she was proud of being the one everyone came to for help.

Some might have seen that as a burden, but to Lori, it was a privilege!

Not only was she considered as the sister who knows all, but she was also trusted, sought out for, wanted.

It was heaven!

And Lori couldn’t see a downside to it!

Lynn scratched her chin. “…Nope, can’t see why I’d need any help.”

Lisa nodded. “Likewise.”

“Yep!”, Luna replied.

All the other siblings quickly shouted out agreements to those statements, making Lori pout and cross her arms.

“Ugh, whatever!”, Lori said, rolling her eyes again, the sand now suddenly feeling uncomfortable on her sandaled feet.

She finally finished her speech with a “And whatever you do, DON’T buy from Flip’s stand over there. I don’t know WHAT is in those popsicles, but it is not… Well, Popsicles.”

“IT’S TOTALLY ORGANIC!”, Flip bellowed from his stand all the way in the entrance of the beach, situated in a badly made wooden stand, before backtracking.

“Eh, I mean, I’m not Flip! I’m… I’m… I’m Jean Valjean!”, Flip lied through his teeth, and grinned satisfactorily.

“Yep!”, he put his hands on his hips. “That should fool them! Perfect disguise, if I do say so myself!”

Suddenly, two French policemen arrived at the scene, with a police car made of inner tubes.

“Excuse me, are you Jean Valjean?”, the taller one asked, as the shorter one took notes rapidly in an invisible notebook.

“…Yes?”, Flip answered, hoping it was the right answer.

“Great! Take him away!”, the taller one called, and he and the shorter one dragged Flip off into their car and drove off.

Lori blinked in confusion before turning to her siblings again.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s have fun!”

All the Louds cheered before embarking on their ways, running off in different directions, leaving the blanket an absolute mess.

Lori was about to leave too (she had some sunbathing to get too! Have to get that look just right for her beach selfie!), when she suddenly remembered one last thing.

“Oh, crap!”, she told herself, and she whistled everyone back immediately.

“Sorry to call you back, but… Lana, Lola, what the heck? Are you already fighting?”, Lori asked, surprised at the quickness of that altercation.

Lola and Lana, wrestling each other, answered. “It’s just a warm up! We’ll inevitably get into a fight over our project!”

“Fort!”

“Castle!

“Fort!”

“Castle!”

“Leni!”, Leni called out, but no one cared right now.

“Why did you call us back? I was just about to sign up for the Volleyball tournament!”, Lynn said, annoyed that she had been interrupted in her pursuit of glory!...

And senseless violence.

Lori picked a starry eyed Lily up, the youngest Loud appreciating the strange sights and sounds of the beach, grabbing at Lori and climbing up onto her head.

Lori was so used to this that she didn’t even feel the need to look up.

“I’m sorry, ok, but someone needs to watch Lily!”

“Hoo boy. You know what that means.”, Lincoln said, and they all nodded.

In the speed of light, they all touched their nose quickly, yelling out “Not it!”

Now, usually, Lincoln lost this game. For some reason, his reflexes weren’t as fast, and he frequently fell victim to the game’s lightning pace.

But today was not a regular day…

“Wait?! I LOST?!”, Lynn could hardly believe her eyes as Lincoln celebrated his victory.

“I… I won? I knew this day would come, but… I can’t believe it’s here!”, Lincoln called out, tears in his eyes.

He began to bow. “I’d like to thank my sister, Lynn, for being so gracious as to allow me to win…”

The others couldn’t help but giggle as Lynn growled.

“I NEVER LOSE THIS GAME! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS LOSES THIS GAME!”, she screamed, clenching her fists.

Lincoln walked backwards, arms almost shrugging in banter. “What can I say? You win some, you lose some.” 

He then fell on his butt ‘cause he didn’t notice the rock behind him.

“I win! You lose! It doesn’t get simpler than that!”, Lynn shouted back, but it was too late: Lincoln and the others had already dashed out to do their thing.

Lynn crossed her arms and pouted as Lori put Lily around her neck.

Lily giggled.

Lynn huffed.

“Lynn, try to at least pretend that you like being with her.”, Lori said with an annoyed look.

“Fine.”, Lynn grunted, still annoyed.

Lori, having finally finished her work (for now), happily walked along the sandy beach towards a particularly nice looking spot on the beach.

Surrounded by some lovely green palm trees, the now comfortably warm sand nesting between her feet, and the soothing beach wind only slightly blowing her hair, Lori felt at peace with the world.

She took a deep breath with her nostrils, taking it all in.

All her siblings were busy doing their own thing, and none of them had problems right now, which meant none of them needed her right now, which meant that she, for once, had no responsibilities.

She sighed audibly and contently, lying on a beach chair, a little sunscreen on her nose, her right leg kicked up onto her left leg, and a warm, soothing feeling in her heart.

“This is LITERALLY the life…”, she thought as she closed her eyes and let the beach encompass her.

Meanwhile, Lynn carried Lily on her shoulders, the baby laughing and clapping at everything she saw.

“What are you looking at, Baby? Why are you clapping?!”, Coach Pakowski asked, his eyes wide with fear as Lily blew a raspberry at him.

He dropped to his knees and screamed to the heavens “TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Geez, what a weirdo!”, Lynn thought, making the crazy sign with her finger and sticking out her tongue, which made Lily laugh and Lynn smile at that.

“At least I still score on that field!”, she thought as she suddenly knocked into a sign.

“Ow! Who put that there?”, Lynn asked, fists raised, ready to pummel the person responsible for this heinous aggression of her…

Huh. Lisa really WAS rubbing off on her.

Suddenly, Lynn looked up and saw that it was…

“The Volleyball sign up sheet! All right!”, Lynn cheered, pumping a fist, forgetting the elephant in the room…

Or, well, baby on her head.

Lynn grabbed the pen and signed her name, sketching some flames next to it to really get the competition nervous.

She flung the chained pen back, and it knocked her out as it hit the sign and rebounded, but she quickly got up and dusted herself off, sand already sticking to her legs and belly.

“Oh, yeah! This competition is in the bag fo sure! Especially with my team of…”

Lynn turned around, eyes closed, to find no one.

She then opened her eyes, just in case, and no one was there still.

“Win!”

Lynn looked up and found Lily smiling simply.

Lynn sighed.

“Yeah, my team. Guess it’s not happening today, huh?”

Lily nodded her head, and then pointed at the area where Lola and Lana were beginning their sand castle building.

“All right, all right, fine!”, Lynn sighed, rolling her eyes. “Guess I have no choice.”

And so, Lynn walked off, baby on head and no trofy in sight.

(Ahem!)

(Oh, excuse me, readers, I seem to be getting a fourth wall break. Yello?)

(…)

(…Ok, now I know who this is. Lisa, you realize that yello is acceptable slang, right?)

(…)

(Sigh. Hello?)

(Salutations and good morrow, my esteemed colleague!)

(Yeah, hey Lisa. What has brought this interruption this time?)

(Oh, nothing to grievous this time, just the inexplicable gaffe in your spelling of the word “Trophy”)

(Yeah, I know. I misspelled it as a reference to “Really Loud Music”, and as a bit of an in character monologue to Lynn, you know?)

(Yes, well, tough. Correct this oversight, or you shall face the wrath… Of my spell checker.)

(…How bad is it?)

(This version can curse)

(Ugh, fine!)

And so, Lynn walked off, baby on head and no trophy in sight.

(Happy?)

(Oh, I am exuberant!)

Anyhow, while Lynn marched off with no song in her heart, Leni walked up to the sign with her usual sunny disposition.

“Oooh! That sounds like fun!”, she exclaimed, and she quickly jotted down her name.

Suddenly, as she turned back, she squeed in delight and ran over to the very welcome sight of Fiona and Miguel, her co-workers at Reingers/besties.

“Yay! I didn’t know you were coming! This is TOTES the best!”, Leni exclaimed, and she squished her two best friends.

Fiona and Miguel greeted her too, less enthusiastically, but only because no one could really match Leni’s enthusiasm. That was a big part of her charm, and it had clearly worked on Fiona and Miguel.

“Hey, Leni!”, Fiona high fived her friend.

“Hey, girl!”, Miguel called and he returned a hug to his blonde friend.

“What are you doing here guys?”, Leni asked conversationaly.

Fiona shrugged, an easy and relaxed expression on her face now that she was far away from the hell on earth that was retail. “Eh, you know, just hanging out, looking for somewhere to chill.”

“What about you, Leni?”, Miguel asked, but it wasn’t his voice. He was holding the plushie he had won back when Leni was “Fun-ager” at Reingers.

Fiona rolled her eyes and audibly grunted, annoyed with this common trend in Miguel’s behavior. “Seriously, Miguel? How many times? You’ve been bragging about this FOREVER!”

“Two months, actually. Do please try to be accurate.”, Lisa corrected, passing them as she adjusted her magnifying glass.

The three teens looked at her with confused expressions.

Lisa sighed and adjusted her glasses. “I follow Miguel on social media. I have a life outside of science, you know.”

Miguel high fived her. “Thanks, little genius girl!”

“Word.”, Lisa replied and she scooted along the sand to her preferred area of research.

Fiona rolled her eyes while Miguel waved goodbye to Lisa. “Mercifully moving on from that, what are you up to?”

Leni pointed back at the sign with a bright smile. “Oh, I just signed up for this fun game my sister Lynn was talking about!”

“I’m not sure what kind of games you can play with a jolly ball, but if the ball is happy, so am I!”

Fiona and Miguel blinked in confusion for a moment before correcting Leni.

“Leni… It’s Volleyball, not Jollyball.”, Fiona explained, used to this kind of thing by now.

Leni nodded in understanding, her lips “oh-ing” as she talked. “Ohhh… I see.”

She then blinked in confusion, her mind failing to grasp what this “Volleyball” thing is.

“…Then what’s Volleyball?”

Miguel explained. “It’s just a game where you hit a ball over a net and try to get points.”

Fiona nodded to further the point.

Leni, however, was mortified. “Oh no! The poor ball!”

Fiona put a comforting hand on Leni’s shoulder. “No, Leni, don’t worry. The ball doesn’t get hurt.”

Leni sighed in relief and Fiona and Miguel smiled fondly at each other. Leni’s compassion was perhaps her greatest trait, far outweighing her ditziness.

“So… Here’s a cray cray idea, but… Why don’t we all sign up for this Volleyball competition?”, Leni asked enthusiastically.

Fiona and Miguel happily agreed. “Sounds fun!”, Miguel said.

“Yeah! We work well together as a team! We should be able to cream the rest of the competition!”, Fiona called out, pumping her fist.

The three high fived and cheered. “All right! Team Reiningers for the win!”

Miguel then separated himself from the high five and got serious. “Actually, we can’t call ourselves that. I will NOT stand for such brazen product placement.”

Fiona and Leni agreed. “Oh, yeah.”

“Totes!”

Meanwhile, Luna was strolling down the beach, taking in the sights and bopping her head to the beat.

What beat, you may very well ask?

Well, my dear readers, Luna Loud was a special girl, with the ability to find music in almost anything, even the most mundane of things.

So her musical ear was able to translate the sounds of crashing waves, distant shores and children’s laughter into a symphony all to her own.

It was so…

Relaxing.

And Luna needed relaxing, especially with her upcoming plan!

As Luna walked down the beach, she noticed the surfboard store, and a familiar looking white haired treasure of hers enthusiastically run out of there with a surfboard WAY too big for him.

He wobbled in the wind, trying to keep it straight, juggling it almost.

Luna chuckled fondly and took the surf board with one hand, planting it in the sand and looking at Lincoln with a smile.

“’Sup bro? Whatcha doin’?”, Luna asked, leaning on the surfboard with her elbow, somehow not falling.

Lincoln looked up and smiled at the sight of his beloved elder sister.

“Oh, you know, just going out surfin’, catching some waves like a pro!”, Lincoln called, happy to share his plan.

Ever since he had seen that surfing movie on lazy Saturday, Lincoln had made up his mind: He would be an expert surfer on the first try!

He had scrimped and saved, watched some videos in preparation, and he was ready to hang 10 and say Cowabunga and all that stuff that looked silly but probably felt real cool!

“Rad, bro, but don’t you usually make sandcastles? Not that Lola and Lana would let you, I guess.”, Luna asked, curious as to this change to Lincoln’s usual schedule.

Lincoln explained with a cocky, proud expression on his face. “That’s for little boys.”

“Wasn’t for little boys a few weeks ago.”, Luna teased with a smug grin.

Lincoln turned a bit red and crossed his arms, annoyed. “Well, true. But I only do sandcastles with Clyde. And I don’t see him anywhere.”

Luna laughed and then gasped. “Woah, Lincoln! I think I found Clyde!”

Lincoln looked around, curious. Wasn’t Clyde helping his Dad’s with, like, interpative goulash making or something?

“Where?”, Lincoln asked, looking through the beach for his best friend and finding nothing but sand, sun and…

Oh.

Luna, with a wicked grin, lifted him up.

“He’s on your cheek. Better get rid of him.”

She then kissed Lincoln on the cheek, making him laugh embarrassedly.

“Luna! Not in front of everybody!”, Lincoln complained, but deep down he liked the kiss.

Luna giggled and ruffled his hair after she put him down.

“So, no sandcastles, huh? My baby bro is already growing up.”

Lincoln shrugged, putting up a cocky mask. “What can I say? I’m too big for Sandcastles.”

“Oh, really?”, Luna asked with a joking smile.

“I guess I’m just too smart for that.”, Lincoln continued, staring at the palm of his hand.

“You? Smarter than something?”, Luna barbed.

Lincoln shot back. “Smarter than you!”

Luna laughed and shot a finger gun at Lincoln. “True that, bro.”

Lincoln took his surfboard, and started to run off, but not before Luna could quickly advise him.

“Just make sure to have a supervising adult with you, Lincoln! You’ve never surfed before, after all! I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Lincoln stopped and mulled this over.

Luna did have a point: He had never surfed before, and the last thing he wanted was to nearly drown.

No, scratch that: The last thing he wanted was to see Aunt Ruth ever again.

But nearly drowning came a close second!

Lincoln nodded, agreeing to this warning. “Good idea, Luna! I’ll go and ask Lori or something!”

As Lincoln walked off, he suddenly returned to pat Luna on the back.

“Good luck with your date!”

Luna froze, her eyes stupefied.

She coughed awkwardly. “Uh, uh, gee! What ARE you talking about, Bro? Where does he get those ideas?”, she said, lying terribly.

Lincoln smiled smugly. “Luna, how could I not know?”

Luna nervously asked “What… What gave me away?”

Lincoln left his room in The Loud House, texting on his phone.

“So Girl Jordan is having a beach party this weekend? Cool! Might have to skip it though, since last time was a disaster.”

Rusty, Liam, Clyde, Zack, and even Stella all agreed, remembering what had befallen poor Lincoln and the gang during that party.

Suddenly, Luna ran into Lincoln.

“Oh, hey bro. Say, I heard that there’s this cool music club on the beach we’re going to. You think Sam would like it? For our sort of date?”

Lincoln nodded. “Sounds rocking!”

Luna smiled. “Great!”

Luna scratched her chin. “How did I forget that?”

Lincoln shrugged.

Luna began to get sweaty and nervous, shaking a bit, breathing heavily. “Anyway, thanks, but I’m sure I will be fine! I mean, it’s just my favorite person in the world and me hanging out in some music club, getting close, dancing close, lips close…”

Luna gulped loudly, her eyed wide with fear.

“Yep. I’ll be totally fine!”

Lincoln smiled reassuredly. “Don’t worry, Luna! Like you said: Every little thing is going to be all right!”

They both rock posed and said “Bob Marley, Exodus, 1973!” and laughed.

Luna sighed lovingly. “Thanks, bro. I needed that.”

Lincoln and Luna hugged, and parted, Lincoln waving goodbye.

“You can do it, Luna!”

Luna waved goodbye too and, turning her back, breathed deeply and braced herself.

“I sure hope so, bro…”

“Hey Luna!”

“Aaaagh!”, Luna screamed in shock, and she leapt into the air, only to see…

“Oh… Hey Sam!”, Luna said, only slightly relived.

The blond rocker with a blue swim suit and a sunny smile waved cheerfully, but one could tell that she too was anxious: Her face was hot (and not because of the sun), her palms were sweaty (and not because of the sun) and her toes were slightly burned…

Ok, that was because of the sun, but not important!

What was important was that Sam was feeling very worried about this… Sort of date with the girl she very much admired.

Like, what was not there to admire?

Luna’s brunette hair was so uniquely her, her paperclip earrings were TOO cute and her smile sent her heart singing!

Yeah, yeah, cliché, but Sam was too in love to care!

Luna, meanwhile, was feeling very similar thoughts.

The two teens took a moment to comprehend the situation, and then, awkwardly, Luna tried to hug as Sam tried to fist bump.

They then reversed their positions, and laughed nervously.

“Um… Put ‘er there, pal?”, Sam offered, and Luna shook the outstretched hand, the two feeling nervous…

But also really really excited..

Meanwhile, in a slightly different area of the beach, Luan was carefully setting up her human cannonball canon.

Luan had enjoyed using it in the circus act they had put up for Lynn Sr.’s birthday party, and she was hoping to find a willing volunteer here on the beach.

“It should be pretty easy to find some participants! In fact, I think I “Sea” some right there!”, Luan quipped, and she laughed at her own joke.

“Get it?”

No one was there, so no one groaned.

Luan fetched out a notepad.

“Note to self: Puns made alone are nowhere near as fun as puns made with others.”

Luan then dumped the notepad and equipped a ridiculously large pair of binoculars, her eyes large and excited as she searched for someone, anyone!

Suddenly, a young couple appeared, preparing for a romantic picnic on the beach.

“A ha!”, Luan called, and she skipped towards them.

“Ah, what a nice day for a picnic on the beach, huh, honey?”, The man asked with a grin.

The woman smiled back and nodded. “It sure is, sweetums!”

They kissed passionately, eyes closed, when suddenly…

“HI THERE!”

The man jumped in the woman’s arms and screamed while Luan stood there smiling.

“…Hi?”, the woman replied, confused by the teenage girl in front of her.

Luan grinned, her arms on the sides of her body. “This should be super easy! Just ask them like a normal person!”

Luan cleared her throat, and, with a loud and energetic voice, asked her question. “WANNA GET SHOT OUT OF A CANNON?”

The couple shook their heads. “That sounds… Dangerous.”

Luan scoffed. “Oh pshaw.”

“Pshaw?”, the man and woman asked, confused.

“It’s not dangerous!”, Luan waved off their concerns with a smile. “I made sure of that!”

The man and the woman looked back and forth from Luan to the cannon to where the cannon was pointed.

“…It’s pointed at the sea.”, they said.

Luan shook her head, a little maniacally. “It’s fine! I made sure of it by visiting this very beach every night and very carefully arranging it so that the cannon shoots it at VERY specific locations that all end up making a GREAT climax joke for this story AND don’t hurt anyone!”

The couple blinked their eyes as Luan finished her rant, her eyes twitching and her body shaking.

“…Are you ok?”

“I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN DAYS!”, Luan cackled, before suddenly reverting to her usual happy go lucky persona.

“So, you up for it or what? Let’s get this show on the road!”

The couple politely declined, trying their best to back away slowly, their faces clearly disturbed by all this.

“Oh, uh, sorry, we just remembered that… We’re allergic to…”

They then just ran off, not even bothering to finish their excuse.

Luan sighed, her eyes drooping and her smile turning into a sad little frown. “Oh boy… This might be harder than I thought…”

Meanwhile, yet again, Lola and Lana were deep into their sandcastle project.

Lola dug some sand into her pail and, using her bucket, she fashioned a bucket shaped sandcastle.

She admired her work, spreading some pink shiny glitter on it.

“Perfecto!”, she declared, imitating a chef’s kiss.

She then turned to her left to see what Lana was up to.

“And how’s your…”

Lola sighed and cringed as she witnessed Lana digging a trench around a fort.

“What do you need a trench for?”, Lola asked, pointing at the incredibly far off sea. “The sea is nowhere near us!”

Lana stuck her tongue out. “Trenches are cool.”

“No, they’re not!”, Lola rolled her eyes.

She then proudly showed off her castle. “Now, Genevieve here…”

“Her name is Genevieve?”, Lana asked, weirded out.

Lola got defensive, flushed from annoyance. “Well, what’s wrong with naming my castle?”

“Nothing, but why not a cool name, like my fort, Blitz?”

Lola sighed again, failing to understand her sister and her “uncivilized” ways.

Lola closed her eyes as she began to lecture Lana, who scuttled down the beach to dig something up with her pail.

“You know, Lana, there is such a thing as elegance. And I honestly don’t know HOW you can make your castle any less dignified…”

But Lola was interrupted by a SPLASH sound.

Looking at Lana, she saw that the tomboy had dug up slightly wet mud and sand, spreading it in her trench.

Taking out a sailboat, Lana let it out to sail, saluting it’s imaginary captain.

“All aboard the S.S. Steve!”

“Steve?”

“Steve’s a nice name.”

Lana returned to her fort, but not before dropping a bombshell: “Oh, you might wanna clean up your knee.”

Lola gulped and, as dramatically as possible, looked down at her knee…

DUN!

DUN!

DUN!

“MUD!”, Lola shrieked, and she leapt up a meter in the air.

She looked back at Lana, who was whistling “Sailing Over The Dogger Bank”, and growled.

“Oh, it’s ON, sister!”

Lisa, in the meantime, was observing some of the beach foliage, a small appreciative smile on her lips.

She usually didn’t feel that much, for reasons that were beyond her (though she reasoned that it was because feeling was second to research), but right now, surrounded by trees, bushes and ferns, she sighed contently.

“Oh, mother earth: Will your wonders ever cease to enchant me?”

Lisa sat down next to what she understood, what was fact, what was obvious and certain and rigid, and she breathed through her nose, her eyes closed.

She slowly opened them and looked around.

The ground is solid and sandy and warm.

The sky is surrounded by a protective atmosphere.

Lucy is holding up a star chart and a bunch of runic symbols.

…Wait, what?

Lisa groaned, knowing that this would just annoy her.

“It’s probably nothing stupid… I’m sure it won’t offend my scientific capabilities…”

“Come on, come on, where are you?”, Lucy asked, a bit of impatience in her voice.

She waved her runes around, but nothing moved.

“That abomination is hiding somewhere…”, Lucy said to herself, and it took all of Lisa’s willpower not to go to her and demand to know what inane and illogical activity she was embarking on now.

“Ignore, Lisa, ignore…”, she whispered to herself, taking deep belly breaths.

She could do this…

She could do this…

“Dang it, Cthulu, show yourself so you can die!”

She couldn’t do this.

Lisa, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying her best not to scream, marched up to Lucy and crossed her arms.

“Dark and incredibly disturbing elder sibling, may I inquire as to what you are doing?”

Lucy turned, surprised to see Lisa.

“Oh, I… I didn’t see you there, Lisa.”

Lucy tapped her chin. “Is that what it feels like?”

Lisa pressed on. “Not important. Lucy, what are you doing?”

“Why, I’m hunting for Cthulu.”, Lucy said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lisa sighed, trying her best to control herself and not point out EVERYTHING that was wrong with that sentence.

“Lucy, if I may, have you lost any semblance of sanity?”

Lucy sighed. “Sigh. You doubt me too?”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Well, thank goodness I’m not the only one with a brain.”

Lisa began to pace on the beach, her index finger raised. “I mean, seriously! The very fact that you endeavor to believe that Cthulu, a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, is a living, breathing entity astounds me to levels that even I didn’t realize existed!”

Lucy crossed her arms. Lisa didn’t have to agree with her, but she didn’t need to be so elitist about it.

“I am shocked! I am appalled! I am…”

“Annoyingly skeptical?”, Lucy offered, a small grin on her face, liking her own joke.

“Why, yes, I…”, Lisa concurred, until she realized what she was saying.

She huffed. “Dear sister, surely even you see the folly in searching for this nonexistent beast!”

Lucy rolled her eyes, not that Lisa could see that, and then she started to walk off. “I don’t have time for this. The world is in mortal danger. So, if you will excuse me, I will be saving your life now.”

Lisa followed her, annoyance in her eyes. “He’s not real!”

Lori, noticing that the two were running, quickly called out after them. “Guys! No running!”

She returned to her sun bathing, only to quickly add “And don’t go too far into the water! You never know what’s in there!”

Lucy and Lisa shouted back in approval, and Lori, content, sat back to rest.

She let out a pleasant sigh of relief as the rays of the sun washed over her body, a warm, tingling sensation spreading over her.

She hadn’t felt this calm in years.

The pressures and fears surrounding her siblings melted away from the heat as Lori let her sun hat cover her eyes.

A nice rest would be… Nice.

No time for proper adjectives.

Too… Sleepy…

“Hey Lori!”, Lincoln suddenly called, waking up a now startled Lori.

She lifted her sunglasses and hat and looked at an eager Lincoln, the 11 year old already adopting his “Puppy Eyes and Winning Smile” look.

Even without his fancy blue suit or his detailed diagrams, Lori could immediately tell he was trying to sell her something (or, well, buy from her something).

After taking a moment to pride herself on always knowing what the loveable twerp was after, she took on a cocky smile and said “Why, hello, Lincoln! What brings you to my little corner here?”

Lincoln didn’t seem to notice that his cover was blown, as he began to lay it thick. “Oh, nothing. Just here to pay my dear elder sister, who I love very much, a loving visit, so I can shower her with love, and love, and love.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “Did I ever mention just how much I love you, oh great sister you?”

Lori nodded, not buying it. “Uh huh. Say, Lincoln, you wouldn’t happen to be trying to, oh, I don’t know…”

She booped his nose. “Get me to say yes to something?”

Lincoln feigned shock. “Heavens no! What made you think that?”

Lori didn’t answer that. She didn’t need to.

Lincoln sighed, accepting defeat. “Fiiine! Jeez, you can’t be fooled.”

“Part of being a great sister is always knowing when her siblings are up to something.”

Suddenly, she craned her head to the left.

“LOLA!”, she bellowed, making Lincoln and the aforementioned sister leap into the air.

“Put that stick down! Lana has every right to build a fort!”

Lola grumbled as she threw the stick away. “Stupid Lori, stupid Lana, stupid mud on my stu… Glamorous dress.”

Lori then returned to Lincoln. “As you were pitching?”

Lincoln sheepishly laughed. He seemed a little less sure now, now that his cover was blown. 

“Um… Well, you see…”

He schlepped out the surfing board out of nowhere, making a thud in the ground that nearly shook Lori out of her chair, disgruntling her a bit.

“I want to surf! I’ve been planning it for a looong time, and I’ve read all I need to know, and I know all the moves, I just need a grown up to accompany me, as Luna said, so I was thinking you might be able to?”, he batted his eye lashes, praying against hope that Lori would say yes.

Lori unfortunately, was not interested.

“Sorry, twerp, no dice. I’ve got more important things to do.”, she replied, putting her hat and sunglasses back on.

Lincoln crossed his arms, dissatisfied with that answer.

“Come on, Lori! Who else can I ask?”

Lori pointed at Lynn Sr. and Rita, who waved at Lincoln.

“We’re still in this story, son!”

Lincoln was not amused.

“Seriously, Lori? Mom has no athletic ability, and Dad is…”

Lynn Sr. suddenly let out a scream of intense agony and pain, his face red and his eyes wild with fear.

“SAND IN MY BUNS!”, he yelled and he ran into the water, disappearing in an instant.

Lincoln and Lori blinked in confusion before returning to their debate.

“Point proven.”, Lori admitted, but she resumed her sun bathing. “Still not doing it.”

Lincoln grumbled, really frustrated with this conversation. “Lori, that’s all I had planned! Who else is going to do it with me?”

Lori scoffed his worries away. “Come on, Lincoln! You LITERALLY have four other big sisters! You can’t ask them?”

Suddenly, in quick succession, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn passed by in front of them.

“Volleyball, here I come!”, Leni called, before being dragged away by Fiona and Miguel. “Wrong way, Leni!”

“It’s right over there… I think… Jeez, why’d my brain have to shut off now?!”, Luna said as she took Sam with her.

“It’s ok, Lunes! I don’t mind holding your hand and doing nothing until we get there… IN A TOTALLY PLATONIC WAY, OF COURSE!”, Sam responded nervously.

“WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD CANON JOKE BEING WASTED HERE!”, Luan complained loudly.

“Stupid babysitting, stupid Lori, stupid life!”, Lynn grumbled, Lily still riding her head.

Lori sighed. “Ok, so this time I was wrong.”

“You were also wrong about Mom and Dad.”, Lincoln added with a smug grin.

Lori laughed sarcastically. “Don’t rub it in, twerp!”

She then noogied him, which actually made him laugh, much to Lori’s delight.

Lincoln got up again and gave her his puppy dog eyes. “Please, Lori? For me?”

He then pulled out the big guns.

“For your little brother?”

Lori gulped as she stared at Lincoln…

Who in her mind, turned into a 6 year old Lincoln.

“Lori, you wanna play Smash Bros.? Bun Bun can’t because he has not thumbs… Or a soul.”, 6 Year Old Lincoln explained, holding a joystick in one hand and Bun Bun in the other, looking up expectantly at his older sister.

But 11 Year old Lori was not interested. “Ugh, Lincoln! I am LITERALLY trying to get rid of this pimple!”

11 Year Old Lori lightly removed it, and her face broke out in 50 more.

“AAAAAAGHHHHHH!”, She screamed, horrified.

“Lincoln, get out of here! I have more important things to do!”

Lori did not like how she used to be back then.

And while she didn’t want to do anything but lounge around, the thought of a sad Lincoln walking off again was not one she wanted.

That, and she liked being wanted, so at least that was getting satisfied.

She finally relented, if a little unenthusiastically.

“All right, all right, I’m up.”

Lincoln cheered and ran off to the water, Lori trying to keep up with him. “Wait up, twerp!”, she shouted out, chuckling for a second at his excitement.

“He used to be a lot more excited about things. Nice to see that he still has some of that youthful energy.”, Lori thought happily as she followed Lincoln.

“All right! Time to hang ten! Gnarly, Cowabunga and all that jazz!”, Lincoln announced, ready to conquer the waves.

He smoothed his cowlick (which, as ever, stayed in its place), rubbed a ton of sun screen out of a tube he fished out of nowhere, and twirled the surfboard on his hand, dropping it accidentally but not letting that phase him.

“I’m going to be the master of the sea! Nothing’s going to stop me! I won’t be distracted by anything! Not by the threat of drowning, or sharp pointy rocks, or jellyfish, or seasonal rot of sponges, or…”

“Hey, Lame-o.”

“Hey, Ronnie Anne! Or Ronnie Anne, or…”, Lincoln then stopped dead in his tracks, seeing the girl of his dreams…

No, no, that’s not true!

She’s just a friend!

…A very pretty friend, but just a friend!

“Ronnie Anne?”, Lincoln asked, half surprised half joyful.

Ronnie Anne waved, a smug but fond smile on her face. “Ugh, duh! Who else could I be?”

Lincoln laughed and high fived her. “What are you doing here? This is Royal Woods Beach!”

Ronnie Anne pointed back at the beach, revealing Bobby, Maria, Tia Frida, Tio Carlos, Abuelo ?, Abuela Rosa, Carlota, Carl, C.J, Lalo and Sergio.

“We’re having a small getaway together before Bobby, Carlota and I go to Royal Woods Woods for the summer.”

Lincoln nodded. “My older sisters are also going there this summer.”

They both jokingly groaned. “We better keep Bobby and Lori away from each other.”

They laughed for a moment, enjoying each other’s company.

It had been ages since their last visit, so being able to see each other face to face was just exhilarating.

But it didn’t last, as they parted for now.

“Well, smell ya later, Lame-O!”, Ronnie Anne called, running off back to her familia.

“Smell ya later!”, he returned, and let out a pleasant sigh.

Suddenly, his ears caught an all too familiar sound.

Sighing with annoyance this time, he turned around to find a squeeing Lori, practically tearing at the seams from excitement.

“LINCOLN! We LITERALLY have to give you two a romantic date on the beach!”, Lori cried, crushing her brother with a hug.

“Oh boy.”, Lincoln thought, not liking where this was going.

“This sucks!”, Lynn loudly complained as she and Lily walked on the beach, Lily waddling along with a pleasant smile, Lynn grumbling and stomping her feet.

Lynn took a shell and threw it off into the sea, accidentally bonking a finally reappearing Lynn Sr.

“Ow!”

“I can’t believe that Stinkoln managed to win! He’s probably having the time of his life right now!”

Lincoln was most definitely not having the time of his life right now.

“Lori, Ronnie Anne and I are not a couple!”, he said, trying to run off.

Lori, holding a tiny tuxedo, disagreed. “The passion is palpable, Lincoln! PALPABLE!”

“And what am I stuck with? Babysitting!”, Lynn growled, sitting down and crossing her arms.

Lily, sensing her sister’s annoyance, tried to suggest playing in the sand by throwing it around, but Lynn was too peeved off to notice right now.

“I’ve gotta find something to distract me! Something!”, Lynn said, feeling jumpy and irritable.

Was this what all non-athletic people did all day? Sit on their butts?

BOR. 

ING.

“Lilster, whatcha got for me, huh? What do babies like to do for fun? Is it something extreme? Something that will get my blood pumping and my adrenaline rushing?”, Lynn asked Lily, holding the baby up to her face.

Lily sort of shrugged and pointed at the sand.

“Playing in the sand? Seriously? Only babies do that!”, Lynn rejected, failing to notice that Lily was a baby and that she had asked her what do babies do for fun.

“SAND IS NOT FOR BABIES!”, Lola and Lana loudly interjected.

“Whatever.”, Lynn ignored their complaints and she stood up, the sun on her back.

“There’s gotta be something we can do that will entertain me!”, she exclaimed, scratching her chin.

Lily observed Lynn as she paced, and thinking it would be fun, she mimicked the pacing herself.

Lynn suddenly stopped, which made Lily fall down on the sand, thankfully not getting hurt.

“I’ve got it!”, she called.

Lily clapped, only to find a ping pong racket in her hand.

She oohed at it while Lynn flipped hers around like a pro.

“Ping pong! Anyone can play ping pong!”, she cried, and she got the ball ready.

“Ok, Lilster, all you gotta do is hit the ball back at me and hope that I miss, got it? It’s totally simple!”

Lily nodded but then, in baby talk, asked a question.

“…This is beach ping pong. We don’t need a net.”

Lily objected to this, citing that a net allows for a more organic experience.

“I admire your point, but we don’t need a net! Now less yapping more ping… Ponging? Sounds wrong, but also right, I guess.”

Lily shook her head.

Lynn crossed her arms, annoyed. “Jeez, you’re really stuck on that net thing.”

Lily nodded, standing her ground.

Lynn shrugged. “Okey dokey. But we need to find a net first. And surprise of the century, I don’t have a net hiding in my butt.”

She then retracted multiple wads of cash.

“I do have all this money hidden in my butt, though!”

She considered it with a pondering expression. “Not sure why I hide it there.”

She then let the money float off in the wind, lost forever. “Eh, money is for chumps! The real treasure is beating up the friends we made along the way in sports competitions!”

She then looked around for a net, her eyes narrow and serious.

“H’mm…”

A few moments later…

Clyde, T-Posing, looked at Lynn. “Lynn, no offense, but why am I the net?”

Lynn juggled the ball between her hands, a smug grin adorning her face. “Clydesdale, I had no other choice! No one on this beach is as much of a foot stool like you!”

Clyde nodded. “That is true. I’d probably help you bury a dead body just because I hate confrontations.”

He then asked his second question. “But why must I T-Pose?”

Lynn rolled her eyes. “Uh, duh! ‘Cause it’s funny!”

Luan suddenly rushed in. “Hey, you said funny, you know what funny reminds me of?”

Lynn, Clyde and Lily began to answer but Luan interrupted. “It reminds me of getting shot out of a cannon.”

“Why are you the way you are?”, Lynn asked, bewildered by her sister’s actions.

“Good question! Why don’t I answer that while shooting you out of a cannon?”, Luan offered, trying her best to seal the deal.

Lynn pretended to consider the idea. “Well…”, before making a wrong buzzer noise. “Not sorry, Luan, but I’ve got a ping pong game to get to.”

Luan pouted and walked off.

“Gee, after all this build up, surely the ping pong game is going to be epic now!”, Clyde said, a small smile on his face.

Lynn winked, not noticing the blush it caused on Clyde’s face. “You got that right, nerd!”

She took the ball, threw it up into the air with much flair, she turned a suddenly there baseball hat backwards, and, with the stroke of a pro, she smashed the ball at Lily.

“AW YEAH!”, she cried as the ball flew towards Lily…

Who fluffed it.

Lynn picked up the ball quickly and served it again, a little less quickly this time, but Lily barely moved.

Lynn blinked in confusion while Clyde offered an idea. “Maybe she’s rusty! Maybe she needs to serve first!”

Lynn nodded, thinking that could work. “Worth a try.”

She gave the ball to Lily, who observed it.

The ball shone and so did Lily’s eyes, as if she was seeing the meaning of life and the universe itself in the white plastic casing of the tiny sphere.

“I’ve got a good feeling about this!”, Lynn exclaimed as she watched Lily…

Drop the ball and sit on the sand.

“Poo poo!”, Lily called, lightly hitting the sand with her palms.

Lynn face palmed. “Brilliant! Just brilliant!”

Clyde walked up to her, still T-Posing. “Sorry Lynn. I guess we should have expected a 1 year old to be terrible at sports.”

“Drop the arms, Clyde, it’s not funny anymore.”, Lynn said, and Clyde dropped them.

“When I was her age, I was beating up luchadores AND mastering badminton!”

A quick flash shows exactly that.

“Wow! Impressive!”, Clyde exclaimed.

Lynn cockily grinned and stretched. “Yeah, I’m basically the best.”

Clyde seemed apologetic. “Anyway, sorry Lynn, but I kind of need to go back and help my parents with their…”

Lynn grabbed him with a mad look. “Clyde, you have to stay! I need to find something to do with this atheletically challenged baby or I will die!”

“Oh no!”

“Of boredom.”

“Oh, well, that’s a little more manageable.”

Clyde tried to wrestle free. “But… I gotta say… I’m not sure I can…”

“Your parents can shove it, Clyde! Who’s more important in your life? The people who raised you, loved you, fed you, helped you and gave you everything… Or LYNN LOUD JR.?”

Clyde looked back and forth, seeing a far away goulash competition and his impossible to comprehend yet endearing best friend’s sister.

It didn’t help that the sun shine reflecting off of her made her look really nice…

Wait, no, quiet! That’s not true! He did NOT think she was attractive!

Lynn then sealed the deal. “If you do this, I’ll let you take me to one of those stupid antique shows you’re always gabbing about.”

Even LINCOLN didn’t want to go with him to those! And Zack was abroad on vacation!

Alas…

Goulash would have to wait.

“Ok, I’m in!”

Lynn laughed and belly bumped him, making Clyde collapse on the floor with a wheeze.

“We’re gonna find something for me…”

Lily pointed at herself.

“Yeah, yeah, you too, but mostly me, to do!”, Lynn cried.

“Sure thing! As soon as my breath comes back!”, Clyde called.

Lynn lifted Clyde and carried him. “Breathing is for losers, Clyde!”

“THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH WHAT YOU JUST SAID! AND WHAT ABOUT HAMO…” 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, in another part of the beach, Leni, Fiona and Miguel were practicing for the tournament.

“Wait, we need to practice?”, Miguel asked, confused. “This is just for fun, no? Who cares if we win?”

Fiona rolled her eyes at Miguel, annoyed with his lack of ambition. “Dude, it’s no fun if we lose badly! I don’t care if we win, but we should find out what skill level we’re in.”

Miguel raised a finger. “I think that should be easy to figure out.”

He called out to Leni, who was buying ice cream cones for them.

“Hey, Leni, like, have you ever played Volleyball?”

Leni shook her head as she paid up. “No!”

Leni then thought of something and shouted back “Well, maybe in my sleep! Who knows, right? Like, woah! Maybe I’m a sleep sportsman! Ooh, I better tell sleepy me to go to NASCAR, so I can get my driver’s license…”

Miguel had heard enough, and he signaled Leni to be quiet, as a less than amused Fiona, hands on her hips, stared at him. “Thanks, girl!”

Miguel turned back to Fiona. “And of course I have never played Volleyball...”

A hint of fear was now in his voice. “…Unfortunately…”

Fiona didn’t catch it though, since she was too busy being annoyed at this severe lack of drive from her friends.

“And I assume that you have…”, Miguel started, but Fiona interrupted..

“Yes. I haven’t played Volleyball. But do you seriously want to get creamed out there?”

“I do! Cream is tasty!”, Leni added as she walked up to them with the ice cream.

Fiona sighed, face palming. “Leni, that’s not what I meant by…”

“Of course I don’t want to get creamed, Fiona! I just… Don’t know if training will help.”, Miguel objected hesitantly.

Fiona gawked. “…THAT’S THE WHOLE OBJECT OF TRAINING, MIGUEL!”

Miguel covered his ears, cringing. “No need to shout, Fiona!”

Fiona grumbled, frustrated with this conversation. “Why not? You have no ambition whatsoever! How do you expect us to enjoy it if you are so negative from the first place?”

Miguel countered immediately, an unamused expression now aimed at Fiona. “Um, Fiona? You’re MRS. Negative.”

Fiona was turning red and her blood boiled. How DARE he remind her of her flaws on a day she just wants to relax and forget her crappy life?! This was supposed to be a filler episode! “You watch your mouth, Miguel, or I might just use YOU as the ball!”

“Guys, guys!”, Leni relaxed the two of them, handing them their slightly melted cones and putting comforting hands on their warm shoulders. “We came here to have some totes fun, right?”

Fiona and Miguel both muttered. “Right.”

Leni continued beaming, despite the dangerous turn to chaos the day had taken. “Right! And, like, we’re here to relax and forget all those terrible, terrible feelings we all usually have, right?”

The two nodded, agreeing to at least that.

“Right! So, let’s just forget all this and enjoy ourselves! It doesn’t matter if we win or lose, or how we do it! It just matters that we’re together!”

She hugged them and Fiona and Miguel relaxed for a moment, enjoying the positive physical contact from their beloved friend.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be a TOTAL disaster…

“INCOMING!”

As a soccer ball flew towards Leni, Leni turned her head to the source of the noise and asked, confused, “In’s coming? Who’s In? Are they new? Dang it! I should have baked cookies!”

Due to her confusion, the ball spiked her in the head, making her flail and collapse onto Fiona, whose face was now covered in her own ice cream.

Miguel tried in vain to catch the ball that was now rolling away, but he shorted out and started panting heavily.

“Oh? You want your ball back! Here you go!”, a random kid said politely, and he kicked it back, a little too hard.

Miguel failed to catch it, but Fiona’s rising face sure did, and, furious, she slammed the ball down on the ground, accidentally socking Miguel, Leni and herself in the face with it.

Finally, the ball rolled back towards the cause of the ball’s journey: Lily.

Lynn and Clyde looked at each other confused.

“Maybe… She’s too GOOD for soccer.”, Clyde pointed out.

Lynn nodded. “I hear you loud and clear.”

Clyde sighed in relief. “Oh, good! Dr. Lopez has been telling me to assert myself! I guess I’m doing a good job of it!”

“SKINNY BOY WITH GIRL HE DOESN’T DESERVE! STOP TRYING TO DEVELOP THIS INSTANT! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN COMIC RELIEF!”, The lifeguard bellowed.

Clyde shook nervously and cowered behind a rock. “Sorry, sir! Won’t happen again!”

Lynn shook her head. “Ai, ai, ai.”

Meanwhile, Leni, Fiona and Miguel finally got up, all three of them a little dizzy and covered in ice cream.

“This… Does not bode well…”, Miguel commented..

“YA THINK?!”, Fiona shouted at him, eyes wild.

“I keep hearing ringing, but no one’s at the door! Must be mating season!”, Leni raved, dizzy and confused.

 

 

Finally reaching their destination, Luna and Sam looked at each other and at the entrance to “Club Banana”, which was surprisingly not a clothes store, but a music club.

Loud classic Rock spilled out from inside, enticing them to enter and lose themselves.

But both girls were unsure.

Luna and Sam gulped, the reality of the situation hitting them: This was basically a date.

Could… Could they do that?

Despite having solved that problem, the thought of being too dissimilar was still unnerving to them, and once you add shyness and fear, Luna and Sam were most decidedly undecided on whether this was a good idea.

But…

They came here to have some fun. They were going to enjoy themselves, even though Luna felt her palms sweat like Niagara falls and Sam felt her heart pound in her chest like the drums in the song that was playing.

“…You… You wanna come in?”, Luna asked, her usually loud and proud voice now small, quiet and uncertain.

“…Sure thing, Lunes.”, Sam agreed, but one could tell that she was as frightened, if not more!

They slowly started taking a step inside, their feet hovering in the air.

It felt like the beginning of a journey of a thousand miles, the idea of setting foot inside the club daunting to the two rockers.

Luna and Sam looked at each other and took a deep breath. “It’s just a step. How hard can it be?”

They braced themselves, and, eyes closed, they stepped inside the club.

For a moment they opened their eyes and it all felt quite… Normal.

“Hey!”, Luna exclaimed, happily surprised. “We’re inside and nothing feels…”

“Luna?”, Sam pointed out.

“What?”, Luna asked, confused by the interruption.

Sam pointed down with her pupils, and the two looked down to see that they were holding hands.

“…Awkward.”

The two blushed furiously and retracted the hands, immediately fearing yet missing the sensation of softness and love in each other’s palms.

“…Well…”, Luna started, looking around, unable to finish her own sentence.

“…Well…”, Sam sort of replied, cement in her mouth.

They looked at each other, feeling so unsure, their hearts pounding and their heads doubting.

“…Well.”, they both agreed (apparently) to walk inside.

The club was quite the different mood to outside: One wouldn’t have been faulted to think that night had fallen, so light was the light in the room.

The brown maple walls could barely be seen at times thanks to the abundance of teens rocking out in all shapes and colors.

Luna caught pink, purple, blue and even turqioize hair, and Sam had never in her life seen so many paperclip earrings and biker jackets.

Classic rock music continued to blare out all over the place, drowning out (usually) the loud never ceasing chatter of the inhabitants of the club.

Luna spied a few potential rest stops: There was a table serving punch (she hoped it wasn’t spiked. Luna was a rebel, but she drew the line at drugs and alcohol), surrounded by some brown haired boys coolly nodding their heads to the beat.

There were a few arcade games, of the kind Lincoln would have loved (maybe she should take him here once. “He’d love that!”, she thought, a big sister even in this situation), including what seemed to be a love tester.

“Hokey”, Luna thought as she darted her eyes to a different area of the club, the dance floor.

Knowing her clichés, Luna would bet all her hard earned cold cash that there would be a dance competition in the end of the day. It was just common sense, yo.

The place was packed, and not just with people. This only made Luna and Sam more nervous: While no one gave them a second glance, they felt like they were being watched and judged by everyone.

They decided to park next to the arcade games, and for a few moments, they stood still, only hearing the music and their rapid heartbeats.

Luna could feel the stammer in her voice as she talked to Sam, who was clinging to her own arm protectively.

“…Rocking place, huh?”

“Rocking place? Really? That’s all you have to say? Nothing about how amazing she looks, as always? Or how her hair looks especially sunny today? Or how the little bit of sand on her cheeks really illuminates her aura? Dude!”, Luna criticized herself, failing to believe how awkward she was. 

Sam, meanwhile, was desperate for success too.

“Ok, Sam, this is your chance: Say something about her! Make her feel good! She deserves it!”

Sam opened her mouth, fully intent on complimenting Luna for being as breathtaking as ever, but instead…

“…Yeah. Rocking place.”

“Dang it!”, she thought, kicking herself. “Why is it so hard to say “Luna, you look so good I can’t think properly?”

Luna and Sam laughed nervously, rubbing the backs of their heads, before sighing to the side, hiding their faces from each other.

“She’s so beautiful…”, Luna thought, forlorn.

“She’s so awesome…”, Sam thought, distraught.

They sighed again at the same time.

“Why can’t I tell her that?”

Yearning for something to work, Sam decided to be bold and say something, even the smallest compliment.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, Sam! No matter how small!”, she thought, and, taking a deep breath, she belted out a compliment.

“Hey, Lunes! You, uh… I like your…”

Sam found herself stammering again. “Dang it, Sam! Not good enough!”

Luna looked at Sam, waiting to hear her speak.

“What’s up, sunny?”

Sam’s heart melted as it always did when Luna called her that. If it wasn’t scientifically impossible, she would turn into a puddle every time Luna uttered that nickname.

Her inner voice, wearing a drill sergeant helmet, began ranting at her. “Soldier, look at her and tell me there’s a reason to stop living!”

“Sir no sir!”, Sam shouted back inside her head, saluting the goddess before her.

“Then say something! Anything! Even the smallest compliment means something, as long as it’s genuine!”

Sam knew her inner voice was right.

She closed her fists and nervously gave out a compliment.

“It’s really nice to be here with you, I enjoy our time together!”, Sam breathed out, sighing in relief as she let that out.

Finally! A momentary success in the road to happiness!

Luna, on the other hand, was freaking out with the possibility of failure now.

“It’s nice to be here with you? I enjoy our time together? What does that even mean, of course I enjoy it back but if I say that I’ll probably fumble it and make it sound real creepy and then she’ll want to leave me and I’ll never be able to love her like she deserves and I’ll live the rest of my days as a cat lady named Milly who has no friends and way too many Judge Judy episodes on DVR and she’s so enchanting in the light like this and I love her…”

Luna had to say something! Anything!

“…Word.”

Nope. Not anything, apparently.

Sam blinked in confusion and Luna covered her face in her hands.

Both were very red.

Both were very scared.

“I… I’ll get us some punch! What do you say?”, Luna offered, hiding her face with her hands.

Sam, who was closing her eyes pretending that if she couldn’t see, no one could see her, nodded. “Sure thing! I’ll just be here, NOT kicking myself for being the worst!”

“Good plan! I’ll NOT do that too!”

They parted, Luna stumbling towards the punch table and Sam lying her back on the wall, groaning.

“Why do I suck at this SO bad? I really like Luna! Why can’t I share that with her?”

Sam wanted to hit something so bad, she was so ANGRY at herself!

Luna deserved the world!

Instead, she got some pathetic child who had no clue about romance!

She was not good enough…

She was not good enough…

“Stupid me!”, Sam called out, flinging her hand at the game next to her, hurting her hand.

“Owchies!”, Sam called out, shaking her hand to get rid of the pain.

Rubbing her sore spot, Sam sighed and looked at the floor.

“Why can’t I be good enough for her? Why can’t I make her happy?”

“Why can’t I love her?”

Suddenly, she looked up at the game she hit, and she saw that it was a…

“Love tester?”, Sam asked no one in particular, confused as to what this game was.

She had a vague memory of seeing one in “The Simpsons” a few years back. It may have rained that night, she couldn’t remember. Despite this, she still wasn’t sure what the game was

Curious, she took a quarter from her wallet and inserted it into the slot.

An 8-Bit version of “Love So Lovely” from “Mickey, Donald and Goofy: The Three Musketeers” began playing as The opening screen flashed on, informing Sam that “The Love Tester” tested your capabilities as a lover.

“You don’t say. Jeez, that sounds hokey…”, Sam admitted, but an idea suddenly catapulted into her head: Maybe this machine could tell her what she was doing wrong!

She was still skeptical, of course, but the urge to make Luna happy was more powerful than anything else, so Sam started to play, pressing the A button.

The machine instructed her to pull the lever, so that it could evaluate her.

Sam did as she was told, and she pulled the lever.

The machine began to beep and boop, shaking all over the place, wildly moving back and forth from the lowest level “Cold Fish” to the highest level “Hot Tamale”.

With pleading eyes and crossed fingers, Sam awaited the results with bated breath.

Sure this was all stupid, but Sam was desperate!

Finally, the meter flashed and let out a disappointed boop as it judged Sam as…

“Cold fish”?! Come on!”, Sam complained, hitting the machine. “This game is rigged!”

Suddenly realizing how mean she was to the machine, she apologetically patted it.

“I’m sorry, dude. It’s not your fault I’m “Cold Fish”.”

She sighed, leaning on the game. “It’s mine.”

As Sam watched Luna struggle to pour punch in the cup, Sam came to a realization.

“But… Maybe I don’t HAVE to be “Cold Fish!”, Sam concluded, looking back at the machine.

She began to smile, encouraged, as her mind concocted a plan.

“Maybe all I need to do is to pretend to be “Hot Tamale”, and ba ba bingo! I am “Hot Tamale”!”

Sam knew this would be hard, of course.

She struggled sometimes just to say Luna’s name, so how was she going to be ultra confident?

But…

“Luna is worth it.”, Sam said determinedly, cracking her knuckles.

She took a deep breath and patiently waited for Luna to come, fully intent on sweeping her off her feet.

Meanwhile, Luna failed for the tenth time to pour punch into a plastic cup for Sam.

Cursing herself, she tried to take a deep breath and do it again, but instead she poured punch on herself.

Morose, Luna “rested” her head on the table as Sully and Mazzy, her rocker friends, suddenly noticed and stepped up to her.

“Luna! How ya doin’?”, Sully asked, and Mazzy waved cooly. “Sup, Luna?”

Luna didn’t even look up. “Hey, guys.”

Sully and Mazzy both exchanged worried glances. They could immediately tell that Luna was down in the dumps.

“What’s troublin’ you, dude?”, They asked, concerned.

Luna sighed, her voice slightly muffled by the table cloth. “It’s Sam: She and I are on… Well, it’s maybe a date…”

Sully and Mazzy immediately congratulated her, knowing how in love the two were.

“Oh, that’s rocking, Luna!”, Sully cheered, and Mazzy nodded.

“Isn’t this a reason to celebrate?”, she said, pouring some punch for herself and Sully.

Luna shook her head. “How can I? I’ll probably say something stupid and embarrass her. I can’t do that to my sunny.”

Sully and Mazzy lifted her back up and comforting hands were soon on her shoulders.

“Luna, you can do this!”, Sully said determinedly.

“You just need some confidence! Stop thinking and just be there for her!”, Mazzy suggested.

Luna considered the idea. Perhaps if she shut out all her doubts and just pretended to be confident, she’d become confident!

Smiling softly, she nodded, set on being the best date possible for Sam. “Ok, dudes! I’m on it!”

As she marched towards Sam, she felt her heart swell.

Maybe this could work…

Just maybe…

She could make Sam happy.

 

 

 

“Do you want to get in this cannon?”

Mr. Grouse shook his head vehemently. “No way, Loud! Being shot out of a cannon is my second least favorite thing!”

Luan blinked. “…What’s your least favorite thing?”

Mr. Grouse pointed at Lynn Sr. “Your dad.”

Lynn Sr.’s lip trembled.

“BUUUURN!”, Lynn Jr. shouted out.

“Do you want to get shot out of a cannon? It’ll be fun!”, Luan proposed with a grin.

“No can do.”, Sid Chang said, somehow at the beach despite not having come with Ronnie Anne. “The fandom is a bit… Protective.”

5 rabid fans, including the author, stood in front of Sid, growling at Luan.

“Author? Aren’t you on my side?”, Luan asked, feeling betrayed.

“MY DAUGHTER WON’T DIE TONIGHT, LUAN!”, The Author screamed, and Luan backed off.

“What about you? Do you want to be my punchline?”, Luan asked Charles.

“…NO.”, Charles boomed and left.

Luan scratched her head. “That’s weird: Charles only talks on Mondays.”

Luan shrugged and continued asking anyone she could meet.

“I’m allergic to cannons.”, Dana remarked.

“I’m afraid of cannons.”, said Becky.

“I’m ok with cannons. It’s you I don’t like.”, Whitney insulted.

“I already got shot out of a darn cannon this week. That’s mah limit.”, Liam explained.

“I’d love to, but unfortunately, I’m from a different universe.” Explained Lane Loud, Luan’s genderbent version.

“Oh, that’s fair.”, Luan said understandingly.

“What can I say? I’m “non-canonical”!”, Lane joked, and the two jokesters laughed before he suddenly vanished.

“Nee phone, who dis?”, asked Fiona.

“But… You’re right in front of me!”, Luna complained.

“I’m obsessed with death, but not that much!”, Haiku stated.

“IT WON’T KILL YOU IT’S SAFE!”, Luan shouted, losing her cool.

“No way, Loud… Wait, you already asked me!”, Mr. Grouse complained, shouting at Luan.

“Sorry, sorry, I forgot!”, Luan apologized, dashing out of his way.

“I just remembered that I need to…”, Jackie started, before running off.

“…Sorry, but there are only so many times I can die today.”, Rusty explained, as he had a swordfight with Davey Jones on a giant Hamster wheel.

Luan groaned. “Aw, man! I am really running out of people to ask!” 

Once again, we draw a curtain on one scene and open it on the next.

Lola leaned over at her castle, protecting it with her little hands. “Oh, castle, you are SOOOO cute! Just like your mommy!”

Lola then glared at Lana. “An unlike your repulsive cousin!”

Lana stuck her tongue out and patted her fort. “Oh, Steve, don’t listen to her! Mama knows that it’s not just a phase: It’s who you are!”, she comforted, kissing the top of the fort.

“Eew, Lana! That’s sand! Who knows what uncultured people stepped on it? Clyde may have stepped on that sand! Clyde!”, Lola recoiled with disgust.

“Hurtful!”, Clyde remarked as Lynn tried to play basketball against Lily.

Clyde, naturally, was the ball.

“Back off of Clyde! He may be weird, unappealing and totally hopeless in everything but nerd stuff, but he’s not as weird as dressing up your castle with a tutu!”, Lynn remarked.

“…Thanks?”, Clyde said, unsure if he was being complimented.

“You’re welcome!”, Lynn said cheerfully, closing her eyes.

“IT’S NOT WEIRD, IT’S PRETTY!”, Lola bellowed, brushing her castle’s golden locks. “GO BACK TO YOUR DATE!”

Clyde fainted while Lynn blushed furiously. “YOU SPREAD LIES, LOLA! LIKE A LIE SPREADING… LIER!”

“Ignore them, Lola! Don’t tell them how to treat your dumb castle!”, Lana said, combing her fort’s bushy moustache.

Lola thanked Lana sweetly. “Thank you, Lana dear. Finally, someone with… Hey!”, Lola suddenly said, realizing that Lana had insulted her castle.

She turned her back to Lana, her eyes trained firmly on her castle. “Well, Sylvia, it looks like Auntie Lana won’t back down. I think it’s time we took more…”

Her eyes turned into flames as she cackled. “EXTREME MEASURES!”

And meanwhile yet again…

Lisa watched with great frustration as Lucy continued searching for Cthulu.

“So… What are you doing in order to lure…”, she took a deep breath, wondering how she had ended up in THIS timeline. “…Cthulu?”

Lucy, who was crouched on the ground, feeling it with her mind, looked up at Lisa and dryly said “Why, I’m trying to set up a telepathic link with Cthulu in order to discover his whereabouts. Isn’t that obvious?”

Lisa crossed her arms. “Negatory. I am blessed to be unfamiliar with the tales of “Cthulu”.”

Lucy stood up, sand falling off of her body and she put a comforting hand on Lisa’s shoulder.

“I am sorry to hear that. They are quite pleasing.”

Lisa growled and slapped the hand off. “Sarcasm, Lucy? Do you speak it?”

Lucy nodded. “It’s one of my favorite languages. I just didn’t realize you were using it.”

Lisa scowled and, a quick internet search later, reported that “Apparently, to summon “Cthulu”, you need to perform some kind of satanic ritual.”

Lucy, however, shook her head. “Oh, there’s no need to: He’s clearly been summoned already. You can feel it in the air.”

Lucy shivered. “Feel it, Lisa? The invisible chills?”

Lisa tutted. “That, my dear Lucy, is the beach breeze that makes us want to eat more. It is unnoticeably cold because of the intense heat.”

Lucy paused to reflect on this, slowly understanding. “That would explain my sudden and extreme cravings for buckets of chicken.”

She turned around, scarfing one down, Lisa a little disgusted.

“In all fairness, this is really good.”, Lucy admitted, and she offered Lisa one, but Lisa politely declined.

“Thank you, but I’d rather, oh what’s it called, live to see tonight.”

Lucy let out a dark chuckle. “Bold of you to assume we’ll make it past the night, even with my protective magic.”

Lisa sighed again and paced around the sand while Lucy started to throw something solid onto the ground.

“Lucy, look, I understand that you are into these things, and I don’t want to be a spoilsport…

“Doing a darn good job spoiling it, though…”, Lucy said, with a little bit of disdain in her tone.

“Why, thank you…”, Lisa started before nose sighing.

She then resumed her plea. “But I implore you to take a cold, hard look at the facts…”

Lisa suddenly stopped, her eyes wide and her voice cut short as she looked down at what Lucy was doing.

“…What?”, Lucy asked, as Lisa got closer, examining the objects on the ground in minute detail, just to make sure she wasn’t going crazy from all the talk about Cthulu.

Finally, after making herself completely sure, Lisa turned around, and, shaking visibly, she asked “…Lucy… Are those…”

Her voice suddenly turned loud from shock and alarm as she violently pointed at the objects on the ground. “HUMAN FINGERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Lucy looked down at the fingers and then up at the red faced and hair raised Lisa, her expression and tone still the same as ever. “…Yes. So?”

Lisa wanted to blow up.

She almost did.

“SO?!?!?!?!?!”, Lisa screamed, earning the ire of an old man, who shushed her.

“SHUSH YOURSELF, OLD FART!”, Lisa screamed back, and she grabbed Lucy by the shoulders, pulling her down to her height.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE IN THAT DRIED UP PRUNE YOU CALL A BRAIN?!”, she spat out at her, madness in her eyes.

“Please let me go. You’ve had onions for lunch, haven’t you?”, Lucy asked, fanning the smell.

Lisa let her go and straightened her glasses. “That’s besides the point.”

She then returned to her tirade, chewing Lucy out, who continued to search for Cthulu.

“Do you have any idea what this could do to us? The amount of trouble the family could get into? Father could lose his job, Mother could lose hers, my respect in the scientific community, forever tarnished! Not to mention the no small matter of JAIL TIME!”

Lucy, getting tired of Lisa’s rant, raised her hand to grab Lisa’s attention.

“Lisa, I acquired the human fingers legally.”

Lisa laughed maniacally, even scaring Lucy for a second. “Oh, that’s rich!”, Lisa said after finishing, wiping a tear of mirth out of her eye. “You’re killing me with that joke, almost as badly as the poor guy who owned these fingers!”

Lucy sighed. Lisa could be very tiring. “Lisa, I’m telling you, no one died. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”

Lisa tapped her foot impatiently. “How, exactly?”

Lucy extended her hand and out of nowhere pulled Rusty into the space between them.

“I had figured that Rusty, due to his many horrific injuries, surely lost a few fingers over the years.”

Rusty raised his index finger in the air, adding his intel. “Surprisingly, the three fingers were still intact!”

Lucy nodded, backing Rusty up. “However, Rusty was kind enough to donate said three fingers.”

Rusty nodded too. “That’s right!”

Lisa blinked on confusion, finally choking out a weak “…Why?”

Rusty showed off his new “fingers”. “It made my little bro happy, AND it allowed me to trade my old and boring fingers for these A.I fingers, which turn into fictional villains, which I’m sure won’t go wrong in any shape or form!”

“I had strings, but now I’m free… There are no strings on me…”, Finger one said, looking like Ultron.

“EXTERMINATE!”, the second finger uttered, looking like a Dalek.

“KONO DIO DA!”, the third finger shouted, looking like DIO.

Rusty whistled as he left, and Lucy smiled smugly at a frustrated Lisa.

“What’s that Lisa? I can’t hear you over the sound of me being right.”

Lisa stomped on the ground, furious. “All right, that’s it! There’s only so much insanity I can take in one evening!”

Lisa walked off, glaring at Lucy. “I will make a “Cthulu” tracking machine that will prove to you that he doesn’t exist! I will show you! I will show you all!”, she screamed, cackling loudly as she left.

Lucy observed her leaving and then resumed her search for the monster. “Come out, Cthulu, wherever you are! Here boy! Yummy Rusty fingers!”

 

 

 

“Did Lucy say “Yummy Rusty Fingers”?”, Lincoln asked, visibly concerned, but Lori didn’t have time for such trivial matters as one of Lincoln’s friends appendages being under the possession of the Gothic Loud.

“Quiet, Lincoln! I can’t focus on making you look perfect for your perfect date with Ronnie Anne if we talk about how disturbing Lucy is!”, Lori ordered, her tongue sticking out as she fixed the boys cowlick.

“For the last time, I acquired Rusty’s fingers legally!”, Lucy shouted, tired of everyone getting on her case.

A little human flesh never hurt anyone!

“I don’t know, Lori, that sounds kind of... OW!”, Lincoln said, Lori now combing his hair with her own hand.

“Sorry, Lincoln.”, Lori apologized, a particularly hard knot giving her problems.

Lincoln blinked in confusion at the scene above his head. “How are you doing that?”

Lori laughed in a half condescending half hearty way, and she continued to comb Lincoln’s hair with her combless hand. “Never doubt me, Lincoln! I will do anything when it comes to giving you a happy romantic ending, just like Bobby Bo Bo Bear and I have!”, she sighed, love dripping from the words like honey.

Lincoln sighed. “Lori, I told you, Ronnie Anne and I are JUST FRIENDS.”

Lori rolled her eyes. “Lincoln, you and I BOTH know that that’s a lie.”

She then turned around to face him, a smug smile on her lips. “And naughty boys who lie don’t get Pie Charts Quarterly while they wait.”

She waved the magazine, and Lincoln snatched at it, annoyed. “You’re lucky that this month’s issue is a real catch.”

He oohed at the cover. “They have a pie chart made of pies! What will they think of next?”

Lori, her hair tied up and her hands busy with the white cowlick, talked between bites of watermelon she had on a nearby plate. “I knew you’d like it! They also have an interview with John Charles Martin Nash!”

Lincoln gawked, visibly impressed. “That’s John Nash’s son! How did you know I’d want this over…”

“Bar Graphs Monthly? The crosswords lost their appeal with you 5 months ago.”

Lincoln had to admit…

He was impressed.

“How did you know all that?”, he asked, while Lori drowned his hair with hairspray.

“Um, twerp, I know EVERYTHING about you!”, she boasted, earning a cocked eyebrow from Lincoln.

“Really? I highly doubt that.”, Lincoln said.

Lori suddenly got a cocky smile. “Oh! You challenging me? Is that what you’re doing, Lincoln Loud? You’re challenging me?”

Lincoln pretended to be innocent. “Maybe…”

Lori laughed confidently. “Ok, Lincoln. BRING IT!”

“Ok… What do I want to eat right…” Lincoln started, when Lori suddenly handed him…

“A plate full of Ketchup Sandwiches and a cone of Vanilla Ice Cream.”

She smiled smugly. “Would you like some humble pie with that?”

Lincoln stared at it, agape, before resuming his doubtful frown. “Ok, fine, but who’s my favorite singer?”

Lincoln laughed in his mind. “Foolish Lori. She’ll say SMOOCH when the real answer is…”

“Is Luna, and you were planning to sing it to her with Mick Swagger on her next birthday.”

Lincoln gulped, a little embarrassed now. “How the heck did you know that? I haven’t told anyone that.”

“I know how your mind works, twerp.”, Lori taunted, grinning victoriously.

But Lincoln wasn’t giving in just yet. “Ok, so I’ll admit you’re good, but I bet you don’t know how tall I am in centemeters…”

“129.54.”, Lori answered in a heartbeat.

Lincoln groaned. He opened his mouth and…

“You wish you were left handed, you think the guy on the Pringles boxes is scary and snooty, you always wait exactly one hour before swimming, and you do so by singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” 150 times, which causes you to go over an hour, but you’ve already started singing, so why not?, And the reason you’ve lost interest or never had interest in Girl Jordan, Stella, Paige, Mollie, Cookie, Renee and Kat is because deep down, no matter how much you want to hide it…”

Lori whispered in Lincoln’s ear, eyes closed, smiling. “You like Ronnie Anne, and you don’t know what to do about it…”

Lincoln gulped, blushing deeply.

“Even if that’s true, I don’t want to date her NOW!”

Lori shook her head, pandering poor Lincoln. “Oh, sweet, innocent Lincoln. I’m just trying to help you get over your shyness.”

Lincoln wasn’t sure if he believed Lori, but right now his mind was focused on something else, and he asked that question that burned his brain while Lori fitted him in the little tux she had.

“…How do you know all that stuff about me?”, Lincoln asked, a little shy now.

Lori put her hands on her hips, a little insulted. “Lincoln, I’m your big sister! I know all about you, I have to! How else can I take care of you?”

Lincoln guessed that she had a point, but still, it was a little weird.

“It’s just…”

Lori groaned. “What is it, Lincoln? I’m trying to fit you in to this suit.”

Lincoln protested. “Lori, I don’t get it! Sometimes you act like a real jerk, and sometimes you’re just so awesome! How does that fit?”

Lori sighed, really not wanting to talk about this right now.

But at the same time, it pained her to hear Lincoln describe her as a jerk.

She knew why these days she was so tense, but she didn’t have much of an answer for all the time.

And besides, she didn’t want him to worry about her, as she knew he would.

“The precious kid…”, she thought, buttoning his shirt. “He’d just get all worked up over me.”

Still, she had to answer in some sort of way.

Adjusting his collar, she answered. “Well… I guess… I can just get a little… Tense, that’s all.”

Lincoln nodded thoughtfully. “Why?”, he still asked.

Lori sighed. “Well, being a big sister to 10 siblings is no piece of cake, you know?”

Lincoln raised a point. “Well, I’m a big brother for 5 siblings! That’s no walk in the park either!”

Lori had to admit, he had a point. “I see what you mean. But it’s a lot of responsibility. So… I don’t always have patience. Even when I should.”

Lincoln felt a little bad now for complaining. He knew that Lori cared, and that despite everything, she put in a lot of work on their behalf.

He decided to try to encourage her.

“Well… You know… You don’t have to do it on your own.”

Lori couldn’t help but smile at that, her true self coming out.

The one that would fight any threat that came Lincoln’s way.

The one that would work tirelessly to see him smile just once.

The one that loved Lincoln with all her heart.

The one that would die for him in a moment.

She ruffled his hair, despite working ages on it, earning a smile from him. “That’s literally sweet. But I’ll manage. I’m a strong girl.”, Lori said, flexing a muscle, before suddenly lifting him over her head, making him laugh.

“I’m SUPER STRONG!”, she yelled, and Lincoln kept laughing, almost like a little kid, as Lori pretended to bench press him.

“Stop it, Lori!”, Lincoln said, though he didn’t really mean it, and Lori, putting him down, laughed too, showing a levity she sorely missed most days.

She then straightened his cufflinks, which tickled him a bit, making him laugh a bit more.

“Damn, that boy’s laugh is the greatest sound in the world.”, she thought, smiling at him.

Finally, Lincoln was ready, garbed out real fancy like.

“Well… How do I look?”, Lincoln asked, still averse to the date, but wanting to know if he looked sharp anyway.

Lori looked down at him, and suddenly, a swelling of pride rose, as she witnessed her baby brother, who yesterday was so small and helpless, so in need of her, now big and strong, now looking like…

“…A grown up…”, she said quietly, half solemnly half proudly, only to then heap praise on herself.

“Well, of course you look good! After all, I dressed you up!”

Lincoln couldn’t help but roll his eyes, though he did so affectionately.

“Well, I’ll admit, it does look nice.”, Lincoln fessed up, admiring himself, looking at his polished shoes.

Lori closed her eyes and pointed at herself proudly. “Well, you know what they say: Moth…”

She then stopped herself, blushing red due to a secret that was on her mind.

“I mean… Your older sister knows best!”, she pretended to say, not wanting to remember the past.

It would hurt too much.

“…No one says that.”, Lincoln stated, but Lori didn’t have time for this.

“Come on, Lincoln! No time for fact checking, destiny awaits, and we won’t hold her up!”

And so, Lori grasped Lincoln’s hand and ran with him down the beach, trying to ignore what she was about to say.

 

 

 

Meanwhile…

“Polo!”

Lily refused to ride horses though.

It was animal labor.

Lynn disembarked Clyde, who neighed.

“Snooker!”

Lily hit the cue ball and all the snooker balls rammed themselves into Clyde’s throat, making him suffocate.

“Medic!”, Lynn called out as Clyde scrambled for air.

Lily put on a doctor’s outfit that was WAY too big for her and she began to calculate a large bill for Clyde.

“No, I didn’t mean play medic!”

Lily rolled her eyes and tutted as Lynn came up with another idea.

“Hackysack!”

Lily took the sack and kicked it.

It blew up.

“Hot air ballooning!”

“Is that still a sport?”, Clyde asked, feeling the band aid on his throat.

“In… Certain areas.”, Lynn lied, and Clyde raised his eyebrow.

“All right, fine! How about Hockey?”, Lynn asked, desperate for an idea.

“We’re in the beach.”, Clyde pointed out dryly.

“How about cockfighting?”, Lynn offered, holding two rooster costumes.

“While I do not object to dressing up like a rooster…”, Clyde started, an index finger in the air.

“Weirdo.”, Lynn commented, judging.

“Um, says the one with TWO rooster costumes!”, Clyde retorted.

“You never know, Clyde! You never know!”, Lynn fought back, before calming down.

“Sorry, Fighting will get us nowhere.”, she said, and Clyde agreed.

“Especially because I’d kick your butt!”, Lynn had to add, and Clyde sighed.

“I could be making Goulash… And extremely, too!”, he moaned and Lynn rolled her eyes.

“Clyde, stop thinking about yourself, when I am so clearly more important!”

She grabbed him by the collar, raising him in the air.

“Tennis!”

“Didn’t she fail at ping pong?”

“Badminton!”

“That’s… Also like ping pong.”

“Ping Pong!”

“THAT’S LITERALLY PING PONG!”

Lynn collapsed on the sandy floor, screaming “WHY?!?!?!?!” as Clyde observed from above and Lily crawled over and fell on her sister’s belly.

“Win! Win!”, she cried, laughing.

Lynn groaned, feeling more bored than ever in her entire life.

“Oh, Clydesdale, what am I going to do? This baby doesn’t come with a sports expansion pack!”, Lynn said, dejected and depressed.

Clyde blinked, confused.

Lynn’s cheeks were now a little pink. If any of her teammates had heard her… “Lincoln’s nerd talk can rub off sometimes.”

Clyde chuckled. “Well, he’s quite a guy!”

But Clyde then noticed that Lynn was truly down.

“Look, I know this makes me sound like a total jerk, but it feels unfair, you know? Why do I have to take care of the poop factory here, no offense Lily…”, Lynn quickly added, and Lily waved it off.

She knew what she was and she was proud!

“When everyone else is having a blast?”

“Maybe if I get Lincoln together with Ronnie Anne, he’ll see that I’m always an AWESOME sister!”, Lori thought as she dragged him with her.

“I hope my friends will stop arguing long enough so that we can have fun.”, Leni thought, concerned.

“I hope this “confidence” stuff works with Sam!”, Luna thought, as she looked at Sam with hopeful eyes.

“WON’T SOMEONE PLAY ALONG WITH MY JOKE?!”, Luan cried out into the distance.

“Dang it. I wish Lori would just surf with me instead of getting all matchmaker again. It’s like she can only see what she wants.”, Lincoln thought, cross.

“Lisa better stop insulting my intelligence. Cthulu could kill us all like this.”, Lucy thought, annoyed.

“If Lola thinks her stupid Genevieve is better than my Blitz, she’s got another thing coming!”, Lana thought angrily.

“If Lana thinks her stupid Blitz is better than my Genevieve, she’s got another thing coming!”, Lola thought angrily.

“I’LL SHOW YOU LUCY! SCIENCE WILL PREVAIL!”, Lisa swore, a mad look in her eyes as she assembled her Cthulu detecting machine.

“Poo poo.”, Lily sighed as she sat on Lynn’s belly, bored out of her mind too.

Lynn groaned. “This sucks.”

Clyde, feeling bad for Lynn, even though he really did want to leave, laid down next to Lynn, his back now slightly warm due to the sand sticking to it, his head only a few inches apart from Lynn’s.

He sighed too, and she noticed he was next to her.

Clyde wished he could help.

Truly!

He didn’t like seeing Lynn, the energetic and bombastic tomboy who always had a huge electrifying grin on her face, that made you almost want to grin, feel so blue.

But try as he might…

“Sorry, Lynn. I can’t come up with any sports. We’ve practically tried any sport possible on the beach.”

“Yeah, and we obviously can’t do any water sports.”, Lynn added sadly.

Clyde nodded, focusing on a particular cloud shaped like Lord Horatio Nelson.

Or maybe Alex Trebek?

So the two kids just laid there, doing nothing.

Lily, meanwhile, started covering sand on Lynn’s stomach, making her own sort of sandcastle.

“If only we could get some inspiration.”, Lynn wondered out loud, hoping some cosmic force would heed her prayer.

“Yeah. Any idea would be good right now.”, Clyde added.

Suddenly, Lily threw some more sand onto Lynn’s belly, and Lynn noticed the growing castle on her being.

“Wait…”, she said, getting an idea.

“Ooh! She’s thinking! She’s thinking!”, Clyde cheered her on, and Lynn put two fingers to her temple in concentration.

“Maybe…”, she continued, as Lola and Lana’s screams over who has the better sandcastle reverberated across the beach.

“You’re almost there, Lynn, come on!”, Clyde encouraged, clenching his fists in hope.

“I think…”, Lynn was almost there, a megaphone blaring. “Get yourselves ready, beach goers! A sandcastle competition is starting in just a few hours, right after the Volleyball competition!”

“I’ve got it!”, Lynn cried, just as Clyde had put on a cheerleaders costume and started spelling her name.

“Woo hoo! What’s your idea, Lynn?”, Clyde asked, excited.

Lynn smiled cockily and closed her eyes in pride. “Why, we’re going to sign up for the Volleyball competition!”

A trombone blared and Clyde and Lily looked at each other in confusion.

“…Can Lily play volleyball?”, Clyde asked, genuinely unsure.

Lily shrugged her shoulders. Live and learn, right?

“Nope! But Lisa can build her a robot suit to sneak into so that she doesn’t get hurt from the spikes!”, Lynn offered excitedly, proud of her idea.

Suddenly, she tapped her chin in realization. “Woah, Lincoln’s nerd talk really IS rubbing off on me.”

Clyde and Lily were… Unsure, to say the least. “Lynn, have you considered that as a baby, Lily might need something a little… Easier?”

Lynn blew a raspberry and scoffed. “Come ON, Clyde! What’s easier than hitting a ball just right over a net with both of your hands cupped?”

Clyde raised his hand. “I can name a few things.”

Lynn waved him off. “Listen, C-Man! We kill three birds with one stone!”

Lily gasped. KILLING BIRDS?!

“I get to be entertained, Lily gets to do something instead of just sit around and hear me mope and you…”

“Yes? What do I get?”, Clyde asked, wondering what his gain was.

Lynn paused for a moment to think. “…Why, you get to see me in action!”

Clyde sighed. “But I don’t know how to play Volleyball!”

Once again, his pleas fell on deaf ears. “I’ll teach you, come on!”, she called, and she grabbed his hand and Lily’s.

Clyde gulped and felt his cheeks getting hot. He had never held a girls hand before, much less Lynn’s, which felt firm and hard, yet in a good way.

And so, the three kids ran off to sign up for Volleyball…

 

 

 

While all this happened, Leni watched worriedly as Fiona and Miguel continued to conflict.

Trying to see if he had any basic skills, Miguel threw the ball up in the air and tried to spike it.

He fluffed it completely, and this made him groan. “Dang it!”

Fiona face palmed. “Miguel, you really can’t hit it?”, she asked, failing to believe such a lack in skill.

“Can you?”, Miguel taunted, and Fiona in response threw the ball up and spiked it so hard it went underground and popped out from a different area in the beach…

Specifically, an ice cream stand, where the ball broke the glass of the popsicle cooler.

“HEY! ANGRY GIRL! I EXPECT YOU TO PAY FOR THAT!, the ice cream man screamed.

Fiona shook with rage. Even here she was getting screwed?!

Leni tried to calm them down and she picked up another Volleyball. “Don’t worry, guys! I’m sure if we just calm down and WOAH!”

Leni suddenly slipped on the sand, the volleyball hitting Fiona, who fell onto Miguel, the two teens now lying on the ground, hurt.

Leni, rubbing her head, laughed sheepishly. “Clumsy me?”, she apologized, feeling bad at the stupid mistake she had made.

“YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR! YOU’RE A BLESSING ON THIS CRUMMY WORLD!”, Fiona and Miguel shouted out, before turning on each other.

“Why are you so useless at this?!”, Fiona yelled.

“Why are you such a grouch?!”, Miguel yelled back.

“Why are you… Oh wait, I don’t have anyone to yell at.”, Leni realized, counting three people on her hand.

Standing up, she put comforting hands on her angry friend’s shoulders.

“Guys, I know this looks bad. Maybe we should just quit the volleyball, do something else! There’s a cool music club… Oh, wait, I don’t want to interfere with Luna’s date…”

“HOW DO YOU ALSO KNOW?!”, Luna somehow called out from the club.

“Maybe we could go swimming! Or surfing! That’s fun!”, Leni offered.

Fiona and Miguel, however, refused to budge.

“No way, Leni! I want to show this moron that if we work together, we can do anything, stupid!”, Fiona directed at Miguel.

“Same here, Leni! I might be weak at sports, but I’ll show Fiona here that her mood is the real disaster at play!”, Miguel shot back, and the two friends growled at each other.

Leni sighed. “Oh boy… This can’t end well.”

“And it won’t!”

An unexpected voice rose from behind them, and Leni, Miguel and Fiona turned to see three beefy guys with gigantic muscles and freakishly small heads.

“…Why are your heads so small?”, Leni asked, before quickly adding “No offense. I’m not judging.”

“Oh, we were all born this way! It’s a sensitive topic, so we’ll really appreciate it if you avoid asking any questions!”, the three boys asked politely, taking on nicer voices.

“Now, we’re gonna crush you!... In a sportsmanlike way. We’re not savages.”, the boys challenged nicely, and they picked up a volleyball.

“Wait, the competition’s starting now? When did they even announce that?”, Fiona asked, visibly confused.

“Oh, well, they didn’t yet, but they’re about to.”, the boys answered.

Leni, Fiona and Miguel, all panicking, got close together and whispered.

“Ok, we don’t have much time. Let’s put aside our problems, take a deep breath and…”, Fiona stated, only for a loud voice to blare out from the megaphone.

“AND THE VOLLEYBALL COMPETITION IS OFFICIALLY STARTING! Let’s hope that you all had sufficient time to prepare!”, the judge announced.

Fiona turned red with anger while Miguel and Leni groaned. 

“Well… Let’s have fun?”, Leni offered weakly, and Fiona and Miguel crushed each other’s hands.

“Yeah… “Fun”…”, the two teens “cheered” and they marched to the field, angry.

Leni sighed. “This is totes getting worse before it’s getting better, huh?”

And with that, she slumped off to the field.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When she was 6 years old, Sam used to pretend she was the bravest and boldest girl in the world (or at least Michigan).

She would laugh at the face of thunder, she would walk down to the basement, even when it was dark, and she never EVER got spooked on Halloween, not even from Mr. Grouse!

However, Sam wasn’t invincible, and one day, the girl found her one great fear.

And that fear personified itself in Nika Futterman.

Nika Futterman was the prettiest girl in Pre-K, with sunflowers in her braided hair, dancing dimples in her dainty cheeks and a beautiful moon pendent.

She had wavy, fluffy as a cloud ginger hair, a laugh that sent you to cloud nine (that was not dissimilar to her hair) and deep, shining blue eyes, eyes you could get lost in.

All the boys wanted to kiss her or give her flowers or something or other, and some girls (when they felt brave enough) would admit that to themselves too.

But no boy or girl had ever been as infatuated with Nika as much as Sam was.

The first time Nika rolled up to Pre-K with a spring in her step and a giggle in her heart, she had said hi to Sam first.

And she had even given Sam the first complimentary cookie she had baked with her mother for all the kids.

Sam had appreciated the cookie so much she kept it by her bedside (where it was immediately gobbled up by her kitty Senior Mittens).

And for the next 2 weeks, all Sam could think of was Nika’s hands and hair and eyes and smile and laugh and everything.

Now, if you remember, Sam was daring back then.

She knew what she wanted: She wanted a kiss from Nika, and she was going to get it!

After a night of planning and giddy excitement, Sam, armed with a card she made on her very own (Dad may have helped a little bit) and the nicest sunflower she could find (it was only missing two petals!), marched up to Nika with a heart full of determination and pride.

A girl like Nika deserved the very best, so Sam would try her very best!

And so, that was how one September day, Sam had knelt down, like a knight after battle, and presented her offerings to her princess, closed eyes and a confident smile.

And that was also how Sam’s heart broke for the very first time.

“…Um… Sam…”, Nika had stammered, looking uncomfortable.

“Yes?”, Sam had asked, awaiting with bated breath for her answer.

“…I’m sorry… But I like Georgie.”

Sam’s mouth was still slightly ajar and her eyes still stung as Nika and Georgie chased each other around the monkey bars.

And Sam’s throat still clenched and her breath was still bated as she drove back home silently.

And her tears still flowed and her heart still hurt as she went to bed that night…

Never wanting to be rejected like that again.

Not because Sam thought she deserved anyone…

But because she clearly didn’t deserve anyone.

After all, what made her think that she could ever be with Nika?

She was a freak, a weird girl who only found joy in Rock and Roll and alt stuff.

She could never be good enough for Nika!

Or for anyone else!

…Especially Luna.

So ever since that day, Sam had attained a terminal fear of daring.

She didn’t want to get hurt and she didn’t want to undeservedly get love.

But 9 years later, Sam found herself having to break that rule for the first time…

Because she just freakin’ loved Luna THAT much.

Arousing courage, Sam grabbed a leather jacket from a passing Kevin or Eric or something, she straightened her hair, and she slipped on a pair of shades that were thankfully in the jacket pockets.

Adopting a cocky smile, Sam strutted up to Luna, who was still timidly approaching, but with growing confidence.

“Just say it like it is, Luna!”, Luna told herself as she inched ever closer.

Luna grabbed a cup of punch from a passing Tammy or Patty or something, adopted a skip in her step, and fixed on a dreamy look of infatuation as she finally reached Sam.

But as the two girls finally met up, Luna found herself slipping on a pair of false teeth (“So that’s where they fell!”, said an old man named Nigel, who gladly picked them up), and she began to descend to the wooden floor, the punch glass surely seconds from shattering.

“Seriously? That’s my first move?!”, Luna complained, and she braced for impact, but it was not to be.

With the swiftest and most confident motion in her entire life, Sam grabbed the punch with her left hand, bounced it to her right hand, not spilling a single drop, and with her now free right hand, she lifted Luna and dipped her on to the floor, eyes locking as Sam lowered her shades.

Luna, blushing madly from the burning passion in Sam’s eyes, giggled. “Oh, Ms. Sharp… We have GOT to stop meeting like this.”

Sam clicked her tongue suggestively, winked, and gulped down her punch in one swoop.

“What say you and I have some fun?”, Sam offered, adopting her coolest voice possible.

Luna slowly lifted herself, meeting Sam face to face.

“I wouldn’t say no…”

 

 

 

“So… How are you doing, princess?”, Lynn Sr. asked as Lola, wearing a German World War I helmet, readied a cannon.

“Uh, horrible!”, Lola complained, making one sand bomb after another with ferocious intensity.

Lynn Sr. knelt down to comfort her shoulder. “Aw, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Lola turned to her Father with an annoyed glance. “Why don’t you ask Lana, your stupid, dirty, Genavieve hating pest!”

“Genavive?”, Lynn Sr. asked, confused, as Lola applied some extra war paint.

Facing Lola’s barracks was Lana’s. The tomboy wore a soldiers helmet too, and brandished a sand grenade.

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you ask Lola’s dumb, boring, girly castle why it hates Blitz!”

“Blitz?”, Lynn Sr. puzzled again as Lola pushed him aside.

Crouching down, Lynn Sr. decided to try and calm down his daughters, starting with Lola.

“Lola, honey, I get that you’re a little…”

“Bloodthirsty?”, Lola asked matter of factly.

“…I was going to say upset, but sure, bloodthirsty works too.”

He patted her head, earning a small smile. “But you know, it’s ok for Lana to have her own type of castle, just as it’s ok for you to have your own type of castle.”

Lola wasn’t sure she agreed. “Daddy, she made fun of my castle and she made my knee dirty with MUD!”

“I see that, but maybe you can find a different way to settle this…”, Lynn Sr. offered, gulping as he saw Lana sharpen a sand spear.

Lola considered this, scratching her chin.

“…You know something? You’re right Daddy! I will!”, Lola announced, and she marched off to Lana.

Lynn Sr. sighed in relief and pride. “Ah, I knew that a little bit of common sense would get Lola to listen to reason…”

Lola and Lana suddenly passed by, hands linked as they ran down the sand.

“Oh, that was quick!”, Lynn Sr. commented. “Say, girls?”, he waved to catch their attention.

Lola and Lana turned immediately, waving back. “Yes, Daddy?”

“What are you going to do? Build a castle together?”, he asked, smiling softly.

Lola and Lana shook their heads. “Uh, isn’t it obvious? We’re going to ask Lisa to make our castles sentient so they can battle each other to prove which one is the best!”

And as Lola and Lana excitedly ran off, Lynn Sr. blinked in confusion, before waving it off.

“Well, they’re not killing each other, so that’s a step forwards!”

 

 

 

 

 

Beeping ominously, Lisa’s “Cthulu Radar” continued to track for the fictional beast, much to Lisa’s chargin.

Sure, she had ordered it to do that, but she still couldn’t believe that she had lowered herself to Lucy’s “level”, if you could even call such delusions a level of anything.

However, Lisa just couldn’t help it: Science, nay, logic itself was being mocked in front of her very eyes! It was her job, her duty no less, to protect her love!

And so, that was how Lisa Marie Loud found herself not enjoying her beach day, but instead searching for something that wasn’t there to prove to her sister that it wasn’t there.

“Next time, I’ll play sick. I’m sure there’ll be some INANE documentary with more sanity to it than this madness.”

“But”, Lisa admitted to herself, taking a small breath and sitting down on the sand, taking in the silence. “It is QUIET for once. Almost peaceful.”

Lisa dug her small and stubby fingers into the sand and sighed quietly as a feeling of solemn tranquility washed over her.

It was…

Nice.

Of course, it didn’t last.

“LISA! LISA! LISA, LISA, LISA, LISA, LISA, LISA…”

“Lola, Lana, whatever pointless tiff you’ve entailed yourself into now, PLEASE leave me out of it…”, Lisa started, way more than a hint of annoyance in her tone, only to find a decidedly bigger sibling in front of her.

“Hey, Lisa, quick question: If someone wanted to put Lily in a mecha suit to do something like, I don’t know, play volleyball, would you be able to build that for them? Asking for a friend. Hint: Me.”

Lisa took a moment to adjust her glasses and stand up to look down at not Lola and Lana.

“…Lynn, why is it that of all out siblings, you disappoint me most?”

Lynn pouted while Clyde (carrying a bored Lily) panted his way over there.

“Sorry… I’m… Not… Fit… Like… At… All… My… Bone… Structure… Is… The subject… Of many comedy routines… At the hospital…”

“I don’t blame them.”, Lisa shot while Lynn tried to make her case.

“Come ON, Lis, please! I NEED this!”, Lynn pleaded, on her knees, begging with her eyes.

Lisa sighed. “First of all, you WANT this. If I said no, you wouldn’t die.”

“But I might!”, Clyde said.

“That’s not true! I’d never kill you because of that!”, Lynn defended herself, as a policeman passed by eyeing her suspiciously.

“Or for any other reason!”, Lynn continued, whistling innocently.

While Clyde began to wonder if his association with Lynn was going to get him 6 feet under for most definitely not the last time, Lynn pleaded once more to an indifferent Lisa.

“Lisa, please! You don’t know what it’s like to be SOOOO bored! SOOO aimless!”

“Because unlike you, I have a life.”, Lisa retorted, but it was Lynn’s next line that sealed the deal.

“You don’t know what it’s like to do something you don’t want to do!”

Lisa froze in place and eerily turned towards Lynn with a distant, cold stare.

“Oh, I know, Lynn. I know…”

For a while, there was only silence, a silence that spooked even Lynn, who gulped as she awaited a response.

Finally, after what felt like forever but was really only 8 seconds, Lisa responded.

“Ok, elder sister unit, despite my earlier hesitations, I will aquiece to your request. One baby mecha suit coming up! At least that is scientific, unlike this STUPID Cthulu tracking machine!”, Lisa added with disgust, stinkeyeing the machine, which shed a tear.

IT WAS ONLY DOING ITS JOB!

“Really? YES! Thank you, Lis!”, Lynn cheered, giving Lisa a bear hug that nearly squished her out of existence.

“Oxygen… Necessary… For hare brained scheme…”, Lisa choked out, and Lynn sheepishly dropped her.

Lisa then cleared her throat and motioned for Lynn, Clyde and Lily to give her space. “It should only take a few minutes, but stay back. We don’t need anyone to lose an eye.”

“Not again…”, she added, looking around her with fear.

As Lynn, Clyde and Lily blinked from confusion at this, Lisa began to make her invention.

And after much sawing, electrical wiring and words that no four year old should say, the mecha suit was ready.

Lisa, wiping her brow, smiled proudly as Lynn thanked her again and rushed out with her excuse to volleyball.

“Well, at least I did something productive today! Hopefully, the rest of this day won’t go to waste!”

As Lisa turned around, her prayers were sort of answered, though not in the way she expected.

“Lisa… Would it be hard to make sandcastles sentient enough to fight to the death?”, Lola and Lana asked sweetly, eye lashes batting.

Lisa sighed and stared back at the screen. “Cthulu, take me. I’m ready.”

 

 

 

 

 

This was not how Lincoln thought his day was going to turn out.

When he had first heard of the outing to the beach, Lincoln had made a seemingly foolproof plan, with one aim and one aim only: To surf and have a blast!

But, somehow, as things always seemed to, it had all come crashing down.

To be fair, Lincoln couldn’t have planned for the unforeseen arrival of his good friend and DEFINITELY NOT HIS CRUSH Ronnie Anne and her entire extended family.

Unfortunately, Lori was more than ready to pounce on the chance to set him up with his dream girl (NOT THAT SHE WAS!).

Now, deep down in his heart, Lincoln knew that Lori only meant well.

Even on days when Lori was mean and bossy and just a jerk, Lincoln knew that Lori would do ANYTHING for him.

But this was a bit much, no? Lincoln was hoping to leave today with a wet surfboard, not a wedding ring and date!

Lincoln sighed, knowing that he was without a choice. He couldn’t really just tell Lori to stop, especially when he knew that it was from a good place… Sort of.

Still, he wasn’t going to take this lying down!

He was taking it standing up since the sand would burn his back.

Ok, so he did do some complaining, but his protests fell on deaf ears; Lori was hellbent on hitching her baby bro with his lady love, and there was nothing he could do.

As Lincoln tapped his foot, waiting for the inevitable return of Ronnie Anne and the inevitable embarrassment he was going to face, he reasoned that perhaps playing along wouldn’t hurt.

“After all, the sooner I get this done and out of the way, the sooner Lori finally lets me surf with her!”

Besides…

He wasn’t TOTALLY against the idea of a date with Ronnie Anne.

“For research purpases…”, he tried in vain to convince himself, but even Lincoln knew that that was a pathetic lie.

Still, Lincoln could taste his plan coming to fruition, and he would not give up!

If he was lucky, Ronnie Anne would make this quick by laughing him off or something.

Fueled with determination now, Lincoln puffed up his chest, more than prepared for the coming challenge!

He would not yield, not run, not hide! He would face this like a man, and he would bear the fruits of his labor with much rejoicing! He would…

“Hey, Lincoln!”, Ronnie Anne called, causing the white haired boy to yelp and leap into the air, almost messing up his tux.

Stammering, Lincoln tried to articulate a response, but he found that his tongue was tied tight.

“RONNIE ANNE! Oh my, what a… What a what a what a pleasant surprise! I just, I just, I just remembered th… That you exist, like I, I, I do, which is like, wow! We ha… Have that in common! So… Yeah.”

Ronnie Anne raised a confused eyebrow, which only got more confused when she noticed what Lincoln was wearing.

“Um, Lame-O, this is the beach, not a magic convention.”

Lincoln buried his face in his hands. Regardless of whether he wanted to do this or not, he was making a fool of himself.

The blush on his cheek was clearly spreading, since it invaded Ronnie Anne once Lori suddenly scooped them up and dropped them off in the beach food joint right next to them.

It took Lori no more than 8 seconds to decorate their table with candle light, somehow already prepared tacos and instruction cards for Lincoln.

If he wasn’t so busy impersonating a tomato who supported the Kansas City Chiefs, Lincoln would have been impressed by such a feat of superhuman speed.

Ronnie Anne, meanwhile, was half annoyed half amused.

“So… Your sisters?”, she asked, as she lifted her taco.

Hey, free food is free food!

“Sister, but yes.”, Lincoln sighed as he lifted his taco and took a bite.

Ronnie Anne nodded, mouth full, not that it stopped her from continuing. “Figures. Lori, I assume?”

Lincoln smiled, for the first time since he had been standing on the sand in his sweaty tux. “You assume correctly, Sherlock Santiago.”

“Why, thank you, Dr. Loud!”, Ronnie Anne smiled haughtily, making Lincoln laugh.

The duo sighed, all too aware and used to this kind of stuff.

Everyone and their mother had been trying to set them up since they had first met, when Ronnie Anne had gotten so flustered at this oddly cute boy with big dreams that she had stuffed a sandwich down his pants.

Not that they weren’t a little interested… But it would have been nice to have a reprieve. Surely THEY should choose if and when it happens!

Resting her head on her hand, Ronnie Anne grinned at Lincoln, the man with a plan now trying not to notice how stained his pits were.

He’d have to wash this suit when he came back.

“So… Your original plan, before it crashed and burned like always?”

Lincoln protested this analysis, pointing his taco accusingly. “Hey, I resent that! My plans, if and when the fail, fail like a Swan that didn’t pass its broadway audition: Gracefully and tragically, with operatic music in the background.”

“Yeah, that’s not the Lincoln I know.”

The pair laughed again, and for a moment, it all kind of felt… Right.

And it felt right for the next few minutes, as they laughed and exchanged stories and just… Existed together.

How beautiful it was, to be able to do it together.

To walk together in the road of life, whether than bare it alone.

How wonderful it was… Not to be alone.

“…Anyway, I wanted to go surfing before I found myself being heavy meddled again.”, Lincoln informed, sighing, almost sadly.

Ronnie Anne also adopted a shared look of sympathy and annoyance as she stabbed the table with a fork, making Lincoln uneasy. “I totally get you, Lincoln. They try to help you so much sometimes I wonder if they’re doing it for me or not.”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean? Also, pretty sure the table isn’t a blood relative.”

“Knowing Carlota, she just might set me up with it.”

The two shared a wry laugh before resuming their less enjoyable conversation.

“Lincoln… Look, I know your sisters, Lori in this case, mean well. But I really think you should say something.”

“Why? It’s never really harmed me before!”, Lincoln countered, not sure if he followed. Sure, it peeved him when his sisters snooped in his life, but, well, wasn’t that what sisters were for?

Ronnie Anne frowned, remembering events a little… Differently. “Dude, may I remind you that the last time they did you kissed me?”

Lincoln’s eyes widened as he remembered the… Interesting day.

He then got a little shy and reserved. “Well… It wasn’t THAT bad.”

Ronnie Anne, suddenly realizing what he meant, blushed a little and kicked her feet in the air. Suddenly, the sandy floor was VERY interesting. “Well, that’s not EXACTLY what I meant. I… I liked it. I… Still sort of like it.”

The two pre-teens looked at each other with shy smiles.

The unspoken thing… Was still very much present.

But they both knew that…

“…You know that it shouldn’t be like this.”, Ronnie Anne suddenly said, a serious, almost sad expression on her face.

“IF it has to happen, it should be when we both want to.”, Lincoln agreed, in sync with what Ronnie Anne was thinking.

They both looked a little glum; Secretly, they would have loved to do it here and now.

But they wouldn’t.

“…Lincoln… It’s not because of that. I just… I just think that you should make your own decisions. Just because Lori thinks it’s cute doesn’t mean you should do it.”

Lincoln never liked criticizing his sisters.

Once he had seen them as obstacles in his life, but that had changed.

These days, he knew how much they all loved him.

But Ronnie Anne’s words made sense.

Was Lori really doing this for him?

And even if she was, who was to say he had to agree to this?

He didn’t need to get together with Ronnie Anne (IF he was going to) until he was ready to do that.

The two left their table, smiling at each other.

“…I’ll ask Bobby if he can “lifeguard” us. What do you say, Lame-O?”, Ronnie Anne asked, playfully punching Lincoln’s shoulder, who laughed.

“I… I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

After they shared bright smiles, Ronnie Anne ran off to find Bobby while Lincoln raised his courage and turned around to see a shocked Lori, who had been hiding behind one of the tables the entire time.

“Lincoln?!”, she asked, flabbergasted. “Why’d you stop? You and Ronnie Anne were SO close! I could FEEL the chemistry!”

The eldest Loud sister had hearts in her eyes, and she nearly squeed. “Honestly, I bet ALL my allowance you were going to kiss!”

Lincoln blushed, only to then frown and get a little miffed. “Lori, I don’t care! I came to the beach today to surf, and all you did was force me AND Ronnie Anne to entertain your “shipping” senses or whatever!”

Lori’s shipper smile slipped as she saw that Lincoln really WAS upset.

Putting a hand on Lincoln’s shoulder, who was crossing his arms, Lori tried to apologize. “Look, Lincoln… I didn’t mean to waste most of your day. I was trying to help…”

Lincoln, who up until now had been only slightly annoyed, was now angry. “Help? Help?! How is that helping? I’ve told you I don’t want you to rush us!”

Lori, who didn’t like to be shouted at, regardless of who was doing it, frowned, annoyed. “Ok, look Lincoln, I’m sorry that I screwed up, but I really was trying to help! Why would you think I wasn’t?”

Lincoln looked Lori in the eyes, pissed. “Uh, let’s see: Because you love being the oldest? Because you love bossing us around?”

Lori was hurt by that. “I was doing this for you!”

Lincoln protested this statement. “You forced me to spend most of my day getting pampered and prepped for something I didn’t even want!”

Lori, who was really starting to feel bad, couldn’t help but squeak “But… But we had fun, no?”

Lincoln turned his back, hating that he both wanted to admit that he did but also tell Lori off for it all.

In fact, his mind was now flooding with moments of Lori bossing him around: Driving him to the city to see Bobby, making him do favors for her so that she can drive him places, shutting down many of his interests.

Sure, he knew that she loved him, but sometimes…

He sighed, hating himself for saying this.

“Honestly, Lori…”

He began to walk off.

“Sometimes I wonder if you really do love me, or if you just love bossing me around, ‘cause it makes you feel important.”

And with that, Lincoln walked off.

He knew it was harsh.

He knew that despite her flaws, Lori truly loved him.

But sometimes, it was really hard to see that.

And as he left, feeling like shit for saying that, Lori sat down, feeling her heart break.

She had honestly hoped she could help Lincoln and bond with him a bit.

She had honestly wanted to show Lincoln how much she loved him.

But once again, she had failed.

Once again, she had alienated the boy who made her feel so…

Unworthy.

So she sat and cried softly.

As Lincoln left.

 

 

 

 

 

“WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO THE ROYAL WOODS BEACH VOLLEYBALL COMPETITION!”, an announcer yelled out excitedly to the frenzied crowd, screaming for blood.

“We have quite a few teams here today, so let’s meet them all really quickly!”

The announcer, with his red hat and white vest, leapt down from his podium, and walked down the sandy beach that was now only separated thanks to a wide net that inspired both fear and determination in the participants of the tournament.

Dusting his microphone from some leftover sand and a hanging on lobster, the Announcer began to introduce the teams.

“First off, these boys with small heads and large bodies!”

The crowd cheered as the boys waved shyly, blushing.

“Aw, gee! Hi Mom!”, they said in unison.

“Hello, boys!”, the announcer greeted cheerfully.

“HI, MR. ANNOUNCER SIR!”, the boys greeted enthusiastically back.

“Please, Mr. Announcer Sir was my dad! Call me Announcer Boi!”

“That won’t age well…”, Luan pointed out as she continued to search for a canon participant.

“So, physically fit young men, are you ready to win or are you here to have fun?”

“Clearly, to have fun!”, Boy 1 stated, clearing his throat. “After all, life is too short to be sallied with the slings and misfortune of glory hunting, and one would be better off living in the moment rather than waiting for it to occur. In short: It is better to lose with a smile, than win with a heavy heart.”

Blowing his nose, the Announcer applauded them alongside the also teary crowd. “Beautiful! Truly touching! Opponents? What is your retort?”

Next to the boys stood a decidedly less happy and peaceful team: On the left stood Fiona, chewing on barbed wire coated with sour lemon juice, her expression that of a demon on the hunt; on the right, Miguel was covering his tears of fear with cardboard sweat drops. Perhaps he could pretend he was an anime character who was very embarrassed/exasperated; and finally, stuck in the middle between a rock and a hard place, insert clever “Reservoir Dogs” reference here, was Leni, who just sort of cuddled herself sadly, not understanding how it all had went so wrong today.

Of course, it was because the author needed cheap drama so that he can craft a story out of it and get that little bit of endorphins to get him through the day, because it’s all he really has and maybe, just maybe the next click will be the one to make him see that it really is ok.

Maybe.

(opens cola can)

Oh me? I’m fine.

I’m here with you.

“…No comment?”, Leni offered weakly, bowing her head sadly as the announcer moved his microphone away from her.

“Woah! Seems like there is a lot of untold drama here that might unfold in dangerously entertaining ways! Isn’t human suffering the best?”

As the crowd cheered, the announcer straightened his hat and moved on to the third team, who all looked oddly familiar despite the crappy disguises.

“And since a competition has more than two teams, let’s meet our third team of principal characters!”

Suddenly, the main member of the third team, a…

(checks notes)

World Heavyweight champion named Nintendo’sMikeTyson’s Punchout (what is that, Sweedish?) grabbed the mic and introduced “himself”.

“Ahem! Why, hello, I am Nintendo’sMikeTyson’s Punchout and I’M HERE TO WIN! TROFY! TROFY! TROFY!”, “Punchout” exclaimed loudly, shaking his butt in the general vicinity of his opponents.

Leni scratched her head. “That Sweedish boxer seems familiar. If only I could put my finger on it…”

Suddenly, she reached her itchy spot. “Ah! Got my finger on it! Now, who is that guy?”

The Announcer grabbed the microphone back, and observed the odd man below him, with facial hair DEFINITELY not made out of Lynn Sr.’s credit card.

“I see! And who is this elegant lass besides you?”

An African American “girl” with a VERY shrill voice and a coconut bra stuttered her way through trying to convince of her gender.

As “she” fidgeted with her glasses, a tiny robot continuously slapped “her”.

“Why, I am…”

“She” leaned into Punchout. “What’s my name again?”

“Why, she’s FightNightRound3EaSportsPS2 PunchOut, of course! My lovely wife!”, Mr. Punchout bragged, making a silly kissy face that made Mrs. Punchout blush like the school girl “she” wasn’t.

The announcer smiled at the “happy couple”. “Why, isn’t that just precious? A loving couple playing a game of death and chaos! How romantic!”

“It truly is! But don’t forget our daughter!”, Mr. Punchout held aloft “his” “daughter” proudly, for all to see and cheer on.

The “daughter” sputtered some gibberish, followed by a few beeps and boops.

The Announcer scratched his head, confused. “Um… I’m not sure I follow, is your daughter a cyborg?”

His confusion was understandable: The “daughter” was operating a mecha suit just big enough for her, coated entirely in black, with a skull face and a “Lynn Loud rules, not that I know her or anything YOU CAN’T PROVE IT IN A COURT OF LAW!” logo on her chest piece.

She had coconut shoes and beach balls for hands.

She also had a boom box that was blasting out “Back in Black” by AC/DC in all its glory.

Suddenly, a large and swole woman with blonde hair with red highlights stood up and raised her voice.

“Excuse me, Mr. Announcer sir, but a cyborg is a human with robotic implements. This little one here is driving a mecha, a robotic fighting suit commonly used to fight aliens and make more Gundman shows!”

The Announcer shot her a finger gun with a wink. “Thank you, non steryotypical nerd!”

Going back to Mr. and Mrs. Punchout, the Announcer asked. “And may I ask, are you here to win or have fun?”

“WE’RE HERE TO WIN!”, Mr. Punchout screamed, beating “his” chest like a gorilla.

“…But if that bothers anyone or anything, we’re more than happy to surrender!”, Mrs. Punchout reminded, a little worriedly.

“Ga ga! Go!”, the mecha shouted out.

“That Mecha for “YA GOIN’ DOWN, SUCKA!”, Mr. Punchout shouted into Leni’s face.

“I hope not! The sand is really hot right now!”, Leni said panickingly, and she cringed at the thought of getting burned.

Mr. Punchout rolled “his” eyes and continued his dancing as the Announcer returned to the audience.

“Well, even though we have quite a few more teams, I didn’t deem them essential enough to the already very long narrative to earn an introduction!”

“Aw, man!”, one of the participants moaned, looking down to the ground, feeling unloved and unneeded.

“Well, I can see that.”, another one said. “After all, we’re really only tertiary, if not absolutely unnecessary to the plot.”

Suddenly, he put his hand on the first guy, comforting and understanding. “But don’t worry. Your time will come. We’re all important in one way or another.”

The first one smiled, the clouds of discontent leaving his mind. “You know what? You’re right! I bet you that one day, I will be hear…”

“AND THE GAMES BEGIN!”

As the teams scattered and arranged themselves, the sounds of warm ups, motivational chants and poor rendations of “Eye of the Tiger” filling the sandy stretches, Leni watched helpless again as Fiona and Miguel continued to conflict.

“Ok, so thanks to you, Miguel, we aren’t even close to ready!”, Fiona complained, venom in her tone.

“Thanks to me? I said from the start that we should just have fun, and YOU decided that we should be all “serious” and shit!”, Miguel retorted, annoyed at Fiona’s constant grouchy behavior.

Leni groaned, disappointed with her day. “Guys, please! This is totes the worst! Can’t we just enjoy ourselves? Would it kill you to lighten up?”

“YES!”, Fiona and Miguel shouted in unison, before stopping to think about what they had just said.

Before anyone could even try to solve the conflict, though, a whistle sounded loudly, signaling the first game for Leni, Fiona and Miguel’s team.

A team of bed ridden comatose centenarians were driven up.

“Well, at least this first game is…”, Fiona started hopefully, but…

“And the local champions roll up to the field!”

“…Local… Champions?…”, Fiona, Miguel and Leni started, but before they could even begin to play…

SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE!

“ANNNNNNDDDD… They win the first round!”

Lying down, volleyballs everywhere, Leni, Fiona and Miguel groaned.

“Let the bloodbath begin…”, Fiona muttered before fainting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile…

“This party rocks!”, Jane said as she and Dick boogied with a ton of other music lovers in the dancing hall.

“Yeah, I know! And the competition starts soon!”, Dick reminded her, laughing merrily. “Think we can win?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe!”, Jane stated, but it was not to be, since they suddenly got flung to the wall.

“OH MY GOD! Look at how confident and in love they look!”, Dick suddenly shouted, and Jane looked up.

“WHERE?”, she asked, desperate for a glimpse of it.

But no one could pry their eyes away: Luna Loud and Sam Sharp had officially entered the dance hall.

Watch out: It’s about to get SERIOUS.

Smoke seemed to rise for some reason, and Luna and Sam nodded and smiled.

For the past hour, they had been incredibly confident…

And it was totally exciting for the two of them.

In a sense, they had put on masks to make it easier: Luna was a lot more romantic...

“I must say, Ms. Sharp, you look quite fetching today! What I would do to gaze into those diamond eyes forever and ever!”, Luna had complimented, not even noticing what she was saying.

It was clearly working, since Luna didn’t feel terrified. In fact, it was quite liberating, as she twirled Sam’s hair and giggled.

Sam wasn’t slacking though: She was braver, more upfront, more ready to tell Luna ALL she thought…

“Listen, baby.”, Sam said, holding her tight and smirking cockily. “You wanna skip the foreplay and just do this? Cause I’m tired of waiting for you. Only for you.”

She kissed her hand exaggeratedly, making Luna blush.

“Why, Ms. Sharp! Isn’t this all a little too quick?”

Sam grinned, winking. “Nothing’s too quick for my guiding moonlight. It’s time someone treated you like the goddess you are!”

Luna narrowed her eyes, batting her eyelashes. “Careful, Ms. Sharp… I just might take you on that offer…”

She bit her lip and purred, and Sam began to kiss her neck, making Luna giggle harder.

Sam and Luna however couldn’t get even closer, since they suddenly heard the dance competition.

“What do ya say, baby? Wanna show them what a couple dance really looks like?”, Sam offered, wiggling an eyebrow.

Luna giggled again and took her hand. “Count me in, my love!”

So there they were, conquering the dance floor.

Normally, Luna and Sam would have just danced like they usually do, rocking out and enjoying the music.

But instead, it was more of a tango, passionate and close and intense.

They covered every bit of floor, and spilled truths the entire time.

“Honestly, I’ve felt like this for a long time.”, Sam confessed. “I’ve wanted to give you what you deserve for a while, but I just couldn’t. I was afraid.”

She dipped Luna.

“But now I’m ready. Ready to finally love you like you want. Like you need, baby.”

Luna suddenly dipped Sam. “Ooh, someone’s excited! And truth be told, so am I!”

She twirled Sam and held her close, nose touching nose.

“I’ve been dreaming of this: You and me and me and you and no one else. I’ve been dreaming of stealing that kiss and making you feel all my love. All my care. You stupid idiot, constantly coming down on yourself. I WISH I was anything like you!”

Sam lifted Luna and twirled her life a figure skater. “Vice Versa, hot stuff! Vice-versa!”

While all this happened, Lola and Lana got their sand castles ready for battle.

Battles lines had been drawn in the sand, and the two fighters sat on different corners of the ring, ready to rumble.

A crowd of spectators had managed to assemble outside, eager to witness the battle of the century.

“Boring century.”, Mr. Grouse commented, but he was the only one not invested.

Standing next to the sand castles, who sweated sand (duh), were their trainers, Lola and Lana.

Wiping Genevieve’s brow, Lola belted out words of encouragement.

“You CAN do this, my clearly superior work of art! You are made with love AND glitter! Lana’s “meh” castle could never EVER challenge you, my sweet!”

Lola kissed her castle, before gaging thanks to the sand on her tongue.

Lana, who had already licked Blitz a few times, rolled her eyes. “Look at her, Blitz. DARING to suggest that we are inferior! Worse: She doesn’t like licking her castle!”

Blitz nodded in agreement. A master’s lick was a SIGN OF APPROVAL!

Lana moved behind her castle to rub his shoulders. “Now, Blitzi boy, I want you to fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee!”

Blitz expressed confusion.

Lana chuckled. “Oh, I’ll translate: Kick Lola’s lame castle’s butt and I’ll finally take you to see “The Late Show”!”

Blitz was more than ready. Anything for Stephen Colbert!

“Bah! How did she get those Colbert tickets? Whatever.”, Lola complained, as she motivated her castle. “Don’t listen to her: As your mother, I know you are a wonderful flower that this world should be grateful for having!”

Lola hugged her castle, giving it forehead kisses.

“WHO’S A GOOD CASTLE? WHO? WHO?”

The castle happily wagged its inexistent tail.

Lola patted its head softly.

“Now, GO AND KILL LANA’S CASTLE!”

The two castles walked out to the ring, Kotaro stepping out as the referee.

“I want a clean fight: No punches below the belt which you apparently have. Also, no water! That’s just mean.”

Kotaro blew his whistle and the battle began, the crowd roaring with approval and Lola and Lana screaming battle cries.

“…Are you SURE this is a good idea?”, Rita asked, grimacing as Genevieve had Blitz in a head lock.

“Of course! No one is getting hurt!”, Lynn Sr. said, before shouting “GIVE HIM THE CHAIR!”

Rita sighed. Her husband was weird.

Still meanwhile…

“So… Any luck?”, Lisa asked smugly, a shit eating grin splattered across her face.

Lucy, taking off a purple hood and putting down her summoning book, sighed. “I don’t get it. Cthulhu should have arrived by now. I’ve done everything!”

Lucy scratched her head. “I guess I was wrong…”

Lisa smiled satisfactorily, crossing her arms and straightening her glasses.

“Ah! I see that reason has finally returned to reign supreme in your mind, slightly older sibling!”

Lucy hadn’t finished her sentence though.

“I guess Rusty fingers aren’t what it likes to eat.”

Lisa was about to blow up as Lucy looked around the beach. “Maybe I need something more substantial… Rusty, how much for your appendix?”

“Depends! Do I get some of the Cthulhu meat when you beat him?”

Lucy scratched her chin while Lisa turned red. “I’ll let you have some of the thigh!”

“Deal!”

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, Lisa screamed, startling even Lucy as the pint sized genius ran around the beach tearing her hair out, looking feral.

She ran up close to Lucy, foaming in the mouth. “ARE YOU INSANE? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN HERE? LUCY MARIE LOUD, YOU HATH BROUGHT SHAME AND HUMILIATION UPON MY HOUSE!”

Lucy, backing off, pointed at Lisa. “Lisa, you don’t own the house…”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”

Lisa stopped, looking down, before laughing maniacally.

Lucy, creeped out, fell to the sand as Lisa continued her rant.

“Don’t you see? Don’t you see that you are mocking logic itself? Cthulhu is a fictional character and I have proven time and TIME again that he doesn’t exist, but NOOOOOOO! Lucy Loud HAS to drive her sister insane!”

“Lisa, please, you’re actually… Scaring me!”, Lucy said, and it wasn’t a lie: The normally scary girl was honestly terrified of her sibling’s spout of anger.

Lisa, however, refused, and continued to act crazy, as her eyes darted around rapidly.

She continued to laugh as she scooped up sand.

“I get it now… The only way to show you you are wrong is to outstupid you!”

Licking her lips, she stuffed the sand in her mouth, chomping loudly.

“YUM!”, she cried, sand flying onto Lucy’s cheek, who was now suddenly very alarmed.

Pointing at an unseen object, Lucy did something she had never done before: she stammered.

“L-L-L-Lisa…”, Lucy started, but Lisa was nowhere near listening.

“WHAT, Lucy? What is it NOW? Do you want me to kill a vampire? Is there a werewolf behind me? Will I turn around to see a Big Mama film that didn’t suck?”

Lisa grabbed Lucy and shook her silly. “WILL I?”

Lucy, dazed, pointed behind Lisa. “No… Not exactly…”

Lisa, sighing, turned around.

Towering over her, hundreds of meters tall, with 45 tentacle like tube feet, a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind, was none other than…

Lisa, turning around, chuckled. “Oh, it’s just Cthluhu.”

Lucy said nothing as she waited for Lisa to realize what was actually behind her.

A few moments later, Lisa’s eyes widened and she turned around to see it again.

“…Lucy?”

“Yes?”

“…I see that my hypothesis was incorrect. Will you smack me on the head while we flee for our lives?”

“No, but I will say “I told you so.”

“More than fair.”

Screaming in fright, the two Loud sisters ran off as the mythical beast gave chase, ready for its feast.

 

And meanwhile again again, Leni, Fiona and Miguel continued to get literally dunked on.

SPIKE! Leni gets spiked and flies off towards the sun, Fiona and Miguel screaming in fright.

“AND THE OVERWEIGHT HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SLOTHS OF AMERICA WIN!”

BOOM! Fiona, in her rage at losing, spikes a ball and it fires back from the net at her face, causing it to sink into her throat.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”, she screams as Miguel and Leni prod her body and it falls down, making them jump.

“AND THE TRAFFIC CONES WITH ARTHRITIS AND SAND ALLERGIES WIN!”

PATHETIC! Miguel, getting scared of the ball, ducks and the ball misses. Laughing in relief, Miguel stands up and the ball comes back to send his head hurtling onto a little girl’s ice cream cone.

The girl doesn’t scream though. “Hey, I follow you on social media!”

“And you like vanilla! You have some good taste!”, Miguel’s head compliments as he’s returned to the pitch by an enraged Fiona.

“AND THE VOLLEYBALL HATING BRIGADE OF ACTUAL DEAD PEOPLE WIN!”

A few minutes later, prepping for their last game, Fiona and Miguel are still very pissed at each other while Leni just sits down, dejected.

Fiona takes a fig tree and swallows it whole, a mad look in her eyes. “I can’t believe you on that last one! You actually ducked?!”

Miguel, who had mimicked the shape of the author in the hopes that everyone would ignore him, bit back. “Yeah, well at least I didn’t take my anger out on the ball! You know how hard it was to get your head back from inside your neck?”

“Considering that was MY head in MY neck, I’d say that yes, I DO get that!”

No one even noticed Leni sigh and start to leave.

Fiona closed her eyes and grabbed “Leni’s (she actually grabbed the air, so to speak) hand” as she walked away. “Perhaps it’s time we admitted it, Miguel: You have zero athletic ability and we should kick you out of the team.”

Miguel also participated in the foolishness as he walked away too. “Perhaps someone should go, but their name starts with an “F” and ends with a “Iona is being mean, and that’s making me feel too much, so we should kick her out on account of emotional blitzkrieg.” What do you think, Leni?”

“Yeah, Leni, should we get rid of this poser?”

Of course, once they actually opened their eyes to find that they were talking and holding nobody, they got very sheepish.

I would offer then sunscreen, but thankfully flustered blushes usually leave after a few seconds. I should know, god only knows how many times I’ve used a blush in a story!

Somewhere up there…

“Don’t ask me; I have way more important things to do.”, They said with a shrug.

Looking around now, Fiona and Miguel honestly didn’t know where Leni was.

And their next and final match was about to start!

“Hey, team of absolutely incompetent players! Where’s your teammate?”, the Announcer asked.

“Um…”, Fiona and Miguel both “responded”, still searching for Leni, though it was unlikely that she was hiding in the sand or in the announcer’s belly button.

“I am proud to inform you that my bellybutton has been Leni free for 8 whole minutes!”, the Announcer exclaimed haughtily, before having to explain himself to a very confused Fiona. “…She gets lost there a whole lot.”

“Go away!”, a cry came from the bellybutton that sounded an awful lot like Leni.

“We can’t prove that!”, the Announcer said nervously, not wanting to lose his hard earned record.

“Leni is too sad to play volleyball!”, Leni cried out of the bellybutton.

While The Announcer sighed and removed the number 8 from the “Minutes without Leni in my bellybutton” sign he carried in his left shoe, Fiona and Miguel huddled up next to it.

“Um… Leni…”, Fiona began, feeling very odd due to needing to whisper into a bellybutton, which wasn’t even her own!

“Go away!... Please.”

Miguel sighed and he whispered too. “Leni, girl, please! Why are you in here? There are way more fabulous places to hide in! Like the mall, or Paris, or Mrs. Johnson’s eggplants!”

Fiona scoffed and elbowed Miguel. “Seriously?”

She then reverted her attention to Leni. “Leni, what’s wrong?”

The voice from the bellybutton sighed and confessed. “Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to play this game anymore! You guys have been really grumpy the entire time, and it’s not fun sitting in the middle while you two fight!”

Fiona and Miguel exchanged regretful glances. Sure, they weren’t too happy with each other, but making Leni upset was NOT part of the plan.

Guilty expressions sitting prominently on their faces, Fiona and Miguel went forwards with apologizing to a bellybutton.

“Look, Leni, we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to ruin your mood.”, Fiona apologized genuinely.

“Honest!”, Miguel added, concern in his tone.

Another sigh.

“Then how come you got so feisty?”, Leni asked, and Fiona and Miguel grunted. They were hoping not to admit that.

But…

“You have to do what you have to do.”, Fiona told herself, and she cleared her throat, bracing herself.

“I guess… I just kind of got a little… Depressed.”

“Depressed?”, Miguel, Leni and the Announcer asked.

Fiona gave the Announcer a stinkeye and he responded with “Well, I kind of have to be here, you know?”

Fiona crossed her arms and pouted, trying to confess the rest of it.

“It’s just… Miguel was being all braggy with that plush he won, and then he just didn’t bother trying today with the competition, and I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to have a nice, quiet, relaxing day off work. But instead I got sucked in to a competition I wanted to win and got my butt kicked hard. And then I made you upset.”

Fiona choked back a tear. “I guess I ended up ruining everything again.”

Miguel wasn’t going to take this standing down.

“No way! It’s not your fault, Fiona! At least, not entirely!”

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, as did the Announcer.

Leni would have joined, but she was sort of wedged in.

“I also screwed up! And it’s because… It’s because…”

Despite wanting to make things better, Miguel really was afraid of revealing why he acted the way he did.

But his friends were ready to listen.

“It’s ok, Miguel… You can tell us.”, Fiona said, showing the supportive and loving side she so often hid.

The Announcer nodded happily. “This is a safe space!”

“Yeah, Miguel! We wouldn’t treat you any different, no matter the confession!”

“Well, I mean, if he’s an axe-murderer…”, Fiona countered, and everyone had to agree.

“That would be pretty hard to forget.”, Leni added.

“True that.”, The Announcer thirded.

Miguel shook his head, terrified. “Of course not! Oh my god, that would be awful! No, it’s…”

Miguel raised his courage and took a deep breath.

“I just… I don’t know how to play sports.”

…

“So?”, they all asked.

“You don’t understand! My parents are VERY traditional! They’ve been trying to get me to try out for every sport there is! They hope I can make a varsity somehow, but I don’t want to! I want to…”

Miguel sighed. He wasn’t ready yet.

“I… I don’t like sports, ok? And I didn’t want to embarrass myself.”

Now it was Fiona’s turn to put a comforting hand on Miguel’s shoulder.

“Miguel… You can be annoying, weird, a little egotistical and very tiring.”

Miguel blinked in confusion. “…Thank you?...”

Fiona then smiled. “But you’re our friend. You’re MY friend. And we would never think any less of you.”

“Totes!”, Leni’s voice cheerfully rang out from the bellybutton.

“I mean, I don’t know you, but sure!”, The Announcer stated.

Miguel shed a tear, joyful and grateful for this moment. “Thanks, guys… (Sniff). This means a lot!”

As they all stood up, Leni’s voice asked one last question. “So… Can we all please have a good time? I don’t care if we lose badly, I just want to be with my best friends!”

Fiona and Miguel smiled and nodded, ready to try again. “Yeah, we can do that!”

“YAY!”, Leni crowed, and she stepped out of the bellybutton.

“Oh, thank god! Welp, back to work!”, The Announcer said, and he took out his megaphone. “ATTENTION, EVERYONE! OUR FINAL MATCH IS BETWEEN THE PUNCHOUT’S AND THESE REALLY NICE KIDS WHO HID IN MY BELLYBUTTON!”

Ready to actually enjoy themselves, Leni, Miguel and Fiona all braced themselves for the match, as “Mr.” and “Mrs.” Punchout came out with their mecha, ready to win too.

 

 

 

 

But before we can witness the carnage of said match, let us revert our eyes to the couple that perhaps was taking this confidence thing a little too far…

“Look at them go!”, one participant went, amazed by the passionate dancing on display.

“The dance floor is on fire!”, Another exclaimed, dazzled by the show in front of him.

“Literally!”, a firefighter shouted out, hosing out the inferno left over from the tango that was conquering the club.

As all this happened, Luna and Sam continued to ignore everything and everyone around them, eyes fixed on each other with burning intent.

It was going to happen…

The moment they’d been waiting for…

Luna and Sam drifted even closer, eye lids starting to close, lips almost puckered.

“You know… I can’t believe that we managed to confess our love, date and kiss on the same day…”, Luna began dreamily, as she could feel Sam’s breath on her face.

“Me neither…”, Sam added, feeling a little weird. Almost… Hesitant.

Luna was feeling off too, but she preferred to ignore it, so close she was to giving Sam what she deserved.

And Sam too wanted nothing more than to let Luna know how deep her love went.

But…

They edged closer, noses touching.

But…

They closed their eyes.

But…

Their lips nearly touched, it was almost there, they passed the 20, the 10, they’re almost in the end zone, AND…

“NO!”, Sam suddenly shouted and she ran off, her blush so intense one would think she had caught heatstroke.

Luna found herself kissing the air, and she immediately got embarrassed as everyone looked at her.

“Would you look at that!”

“How odd!”

“That girl must be SO embarrassed!”

“And a side of onion rings!”, a shaggy haired customer ordered from the bar.

“Rickles!”, his great dane reminded.

“Oh, right! And a pickle on top!”, The man added, laughing. “How could I forget?”

“Yeah, great. There’s some drama unfolding, you mind being quiet?”, the bartender complained, watching with binoculars.

“Say no more, say no more! Dramatic catharsis is the sweetest of snacks!”, the guy agreed, and he stopped talking.

Luna was distraught, of course. She couldn’t believe this had happened.

But as embarrassed as she was, and as disappointed that she was that she didn’t get to kiss Sam, Luna was fixated on one thing: Her Sunny was gone and she was in even worse condition than her!

Luna was many things, but someone who let Sam Sharp suffer alone she was not!

Running as quickly as she could, Luna searched every nook and cranie, but surely Sam wasn’t underneath the floorboards, or inside the guy’s mouth, or hiding in the mouse hole!

Scratching her head, Luna walked outside only to find…

“Sam!”, Luna cried, and she ran up to the blonde, who tried to hide her tear stains as she sat down on the entrance to the club.

Luna gripped her arm, feeling like shit, as Sam tried to hide her crying.

Sam was really bad at hiding her crying.

“Oh… Hey, Lunes.”

The loneliness in her voice nearly shattered Luna’s heart.

It was then totally shattered when Sam sobbed.

“Sammie! Why are you crying?”

Luna sat down and wiped the tear off of Sam’s cheek, gazing into her eyes.

“Didn’t we have fin back there?”

Sam trembled, her words stumbling out in a heap. “It’s not… It’s not th-tha-that we didn’t ha-have f-fun… It’s just…”

Sam hugged herself, embarrassed. “You saw me in there! The things I said! I… I didn’t mean to be so upfront!”

Luna didn’t get it. “Why is that wrong?”

“Because you surely don’t feel the same! I wasn’t going to go so far and say all those things!”

“Sammie, you read my letter!”

Luna grasped Sam hard, staring intently into her eyes.

Sam blushed again, but not from embarrassment.

Luna smiled encouragingly, ignoring her own rising blush.

Clammy hands grabbed each other, and the two let the moment happen.

“…I really really like you. You know that.”

“I do… But I wasn’t sure if we were dating or not.”

Luna giggled. “Me neither.”

“…Do you want to?”

“Why not?”

“I’m me.”

“…And that’s why I want to.”

That was all they needed.

Turning around, they looked up at the almost starry sky.

“…Wanna do something?”, Luna asked.

“Sitting next to you doing nothing?”, Sam said, smiling.

They slowly but surely held hands, love exchanged with a pinkie lock.

“…What more do I need?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, isn’t this just great? Luna and Sam are finally honest with their love and Leni made up with her friends!

I’m sure there’s NOTHING I’m forgetting!

(Whisper whisper)

…What’s that about Cthulhu?

Oh, yeah… Lisa and Lucy are being chased by the scariest and toughest mythological creature…

OH MY GOD! CTHULHU IS CHASING LISA AND LUCY!

“If I survive, I’m firing the author! He’s already forced me to develop as a person by learning to appreciate imagination! Now he’s trying to get me killed? Does he hate me or something?”

As Lisa complained about meta subjects, Lucy leafed through her book like a mad woman, desperately searching for a solution and screaming out spells that did nothing.

Worst of all, Lucy looked scared; This only managed to scare Lisa, as she narrowly dodged Cthulhu’s teeth, his towering wings flapping menacingly.

His primal roar of hunger did NOT help.

As they ran, leaping over sleeping senior citizens and plastic bags, kicking up sand and sea shells, and narrowly avoiding his madness inducing rays, Lisa began to realize something.

She was going to die today, and her last actions were to shout and berate her so called “stupid” sister, when it was Lisa herself that was the idiot.

Lisa was not ready to die with such guilt, so she sighed and decided that if she had to die now, she would at least die without a heavy heart.

“Dear sister, I believe I have some apologizing to do…”, Lisa began, as she slid underneath the legs of Mr. Grouse.

Lucy continued to rapidly leaf through her book, a mad look in her still unseen eyes.

“Not the time, Lisa!”, Lucy said, nervousness and tension in her voice. She was now flipping pages so quickly that dozens of them were flying out into the sky, quickly melted by the sheer heat and speed of Cthulhu.

Lisa straightened her glasses, looking regretful but also still correcting. “Now, older sibling unit, I understand that you are in the state of accepting the cold merciless kiss of death, but I need to clear my conscious! That’s also important!”

While Lucy massaged her temples, Lisa removed a somehow already written apology and began to read it out loud, while somehow still avoiding obstacles.

“Dear Lucy, please accept my sincerest apologies. I was a fool, a neandrathal, a knucklehead McSpazzmatron, if you will.”

“Lisa, shut up, please! You can apologize to me when we’re saved!”, Lucy said, as she began to lose hope for that save. Cthulhu was practically unstoppable, and Lucy’s original plan to stop the beast had been to use one of Great Great Grandma Harriet’s spells, but none seemed to be strong enough.

“Lucy, please! Let me apologize!”, Lisa almost begged as they narrowly avoided a magic blast from the beast.

Lucy growled and picked Lisa up, shaking her. “Don’t you get it, you stupid pint sized genius? We’re going to die, and all you care about is your conscious!”

Lisa was put down, shaken physically and emotionally.

She cleared he throat, realizing that she had screwed up again. “I’m sorry, Lucy! I… I really am. I was so quick to judge you instead of just trusting you!”

Lisa sighed as Lucy began to plan for her afterlife.

“I wish I could just open up a portal into the multiverse or something and start again. Maybe I’ll change my name: How’s Lara Jill Miller? That sounds pretty good.”

And then, suddenly, it struck Lucy.

That’s. It!

“Multiverse… Of course!”

“What? I don’t get it.”, Lisa said, as Lucy stopped in her tracks and turned to Cthulhu.

Lisa went buggy eyed and leaped in front of Lucy, Cthulhu approaching ever closer.

“Elder sister unit, have you gone, pardon my crudeness, BANANAS? He’s almost got you!”

Lisa tried to push Lucy, but Lucy refused, smiling instead at the dumbfounded Lisa.

Lisa continued to panic as she pushed Lucy, but Lucy would not budge.

“Lucy! Please! This is… You’re going to die!”

Real emotion was in Lisa’s voice. She would not lose her sister.

In fact, actual tears flowed down from her glasses, soaking her brown loafers.

But Lucy just smiled as she put a comforting hand on Lisa’s shoulder.

“Lisa… Trust me.”

If Lucy had asked that that morning, Lisa would have laughed her off.

But after all they went through, Lisa found herself actually nodding slowly.

“…Ok. If… If it makes you happy.”

Lucy grinned and then pointed at the last page, eyes focused on Cthulhu.

The monster roared, seconds away from devouring Lucy, the little girl only just repelling his madness inducing thought control.

But Lucy had him in her trap.

And with one smile and a spooky giggle…

She revealed her eyes…

And said the encantation.

“!Em Hguorth Wolf Stirips Noitanitsed: !Saxet, Ellivorter !Etinu SoontKcin”

And just like that…

POOF!

He was gone.

Lisa’s shocked expression stayed as Lucy clapped the dust off her hands and whistled.

“All in a day’s work.”

“Wha? Huh? Yuh? Eee? Flurp?!”, Lisa could barely sputter words.

Lucy put a comforting hand on Lisa’s shoulder. “Don’t worry: He’s gone now. I send him to a different universe.”

As Lucy began to walk off, Lisa only got more confused. “There’s a MULTIVERSE?”

Lucy nodded.

Lisa sputtered in shock. “And you DIDN’T TELL ANYONE? MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!”

Lucy laughed. “What can I say? I forgot.”

Lisa almost wanted to scream…

But instead, she conceded defeat. “Whatever. I guess I was wrong about that too. I’m sorry for how I acted today, Lucy. From now on, I’ll take your words at face value.”

Lucy was more than happy to accept that. “Thanks, Lisa.”

As they walked off, Lisa couldn’t help but wonder, though: Would this Multiverse affect things in the long term? Were there things happening outside of their comfortable slice of life universe?

What kind of universe could just accept Cthulhu and survive?

 

 

 

 

 

SMACK!

SOCK!

BANG!

WALLOP!

Genevieve and Blitz were storming away at each other, the ring getting covered in sand and metallic parts as they pounded away, earning cheers and jeers from the spectators.

The two sandcastles were immersed in the fight, seeing nothing but blood, as they circled each other around the ring.

Unfortunately, the two castles were also heavily injured.

Genevieve was limping, her left side almost completely eroded off by the senseless violence, while Blitz’s entire top was knocked off, and he could barely see.

In fact, the two castles, despite their clear hatred for each other, could agree on one thing: They both desperately wanted to stop the fight and go back to their owners.

Unfortunately, only two people were more invested in the fight: Lola and Lana themselves.

“KNOCK HER SEASHELLS OFF!”, Lana cried, heart in her chest. “I WANT TO SEE HER BEG!”

“SHOW NO MERCY, GENEVIEVE! I WANT TO SEE THAT CASTLE DROWN! DROWN, I SAY!”, Lola screamed, fire literally in her eyes.

Owch.

Genevieve and Blitz sighed. But there wasn’t anything they could do.

The screams of the crowd, the pumping adrenaline in their veins, their parents approval hanging in the balance…

They had to.

They had to finish it.

The glistening sand on the ring was further illuminated by the setting sun, as the bell rung one last time.

“MAKE ME PROUD, BLITZ!”, Lana crowed.

“MAKE ME PROUD, GENEVIEVE!”, Lola demanded.

And so, the sandcastles did battle, and it was truly a sight to behold!

Punches and hooks connected as sand that formerly made up their faces flew into the crowds eyes.

Eyes blackened and bruises deepened as salt water trickled down from their gashes.

Soon, it was clear that only one would still be standing.

Blitz was stumbling, his knees nearly buckled as Genevieve made quite the work out of his face.

Lana was steaming red while Lola began to perform a victory dance, waving a huge victory flag.

“LOOKS LIKE YOU LOSE, LANA!”, Lola jeered, and Lana stuck her tongue out.

“AT LEAST MY DANCING ISN’T AS GRACEFUL AS BARF!”

“OK, THAT’S IT!”, Lola screamed, bracing her knuckles.

Enraged, the two began to scuffle, pulling hair and scratching each other.

This was too much for Blitz and Genevieve. They had only existed for a little bit, but they LOVED their parents.

Maybe…

Genevieve looked at Blitz, her foundations almost completely gone.

A saltwater tear was shed by her as Blitz wiped it off with the little bit of hand he had left.

…

They both knew it was the only way.

So, overdramatically, the two castles embraced while a very sad and very small violin played.

The crowd awed, and Lola and Lana stopped fighting and cooed over it.

“Aww! They like each other!”, Lana exclaimed.

“When can you schedule for a playdate?”, Lola began asking, fetching her diary out, when suddenly, the castles collapsed, now truly just sand.

A few moments of shocked surprise later, and Lola and Lana tearfully observed each other.

“…Lola, I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to destroy your castle!”, Lana apologized, hugging her sister with all her heart.

“Me neither! I just wanted you to stop teasing mine, honest! I was terrible!”, Lola apologized, tightly holding Lana too.

The twins grieved as the sandcastles floated away in the wind, forever gone, but not from their hearts.

Lana sniffed as she offered her hand to Lola, who gladly took it. “Let’s never fight over sandcastles again!”

“Agreed!”, Lola said as she blew her nose with a hankerchief from nowhere.

“Um, that’s great, but why not promise to never fight?”, Rita asked as she entered the ring, Lynn Sr. close behind.

Lola and Lana blinked at that before shrugging. “And stop getting extra over stupid stuff? Never!”

The two linked arms and skipped off to a patch of sand that was outside the ring, already forgetting the whole ordeal.

Rita scratched her head, confused, but Lynn Sr. just chuckled. “Baby steps, honey. Baby steps.”

Meanwhile, Lola and Lana began building their castle together.

“What should we call it?”, Lana asked as she dug a moat with her pail.

Lola, who spread some sea shells, scratched her chin in thought. “I guess we could call it… Oooh!”, she snapped her fingers.

“We could call it Blitzevieve! After our two angels, as a reminder that just because we’re different, we don’t have to disagree! A true testament to our bond as sisters and twins!”

Lana waited a moment before suggesting her idea. “Or we could call it Steve.”

Lola blinked and then smiled. “Steve IS a nice name.”

Suddenly, the ground shook and the twins looked up to see Mr. Punchout and…

“Oh, quit it with the Mr. Punchout! We all know who that is!”, Mr. Punchout whined at me, before removing “his” disguise to reveal…

OH MY LORD! LYNN! WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY FORSEEN THIS?!

…

Wait? Where are you going? The story isn’t over!

Lynn then removed Mrs…

Sorry, sorry, don’t glare at me like that, Lynn!

Ok, so Clyde and Lily’s costumes were off too.

Lola pointed at Lynn with her pail. “Why were you three wearing those tripe costumes? Also, when did Clyde arrive? Didn’t he have some goulash competition to get to?”

Clyde was speechless. “How do you know about that?”

“We all do Clyde. It’s the talk of the town.”, Lana informed, as if that was obvious.

Clyde didn’t even know how to respond to that one.

“Anyway, why are you here, Lynn? Don’t you have something better to do?”, Lola asked, curious.

Lynn sighed, lying down on the sand, while Lily crawled over her and started to play with the sand. “I did! And I was really enjoying the volleyball tournament!”

Lynn then sat up, feeling bad, as she looked down at her hands. “But during the last match, Lily almost got hurt by one of the volleyballs. I may be bored to death, but when I realized that she could be hurt, it was like something snapped, you know?”

Lola and Lana looked at each other and shook their heads. “We turned out to be pretty terrible parents, what with our sandcastle children dying and stuff.”

Lynn didn’t even notice that, too depressed for even a raised eyebrow. “Besides… Honestly, I doubt Lily was enjoying herself.”

Suddenly, Lily laughed and Lynn looked aside to see the baby happily make a small sand hut. “Win! Win! Wook!”

Lynn smiled proudly and ruffled the inexistent hair of her smallest sibling. “I guess there are worse things than seeing your baby sister play in the sand. I can spare her at least that, as compensation.”

Lynn then started making her own castle, and for some reason, the calm and serenity of the total lack of competition felt oddly… Nice.

“Huh. Not bad.”, Lynn commented to herself.

Clyde smiled as he stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Well, I’m happy that everything turned out for the best!”

Lynn then remembered that Clyde still existed. “Aw man!”

She stood up, rubbing her arm sheepishly. “You got robbed out of a whole day! It was real jerky of me to do that to you!”

She groaned, face palming. “I’m such a butt head!”

Clyde, though, just laughed it off, forgiving immediately. “You’re not a butt head, Lynn! I may have missed out on the apparently famous Goulash competition, but I got to help you! Sort of. It was worth it!”

Lynn beamed at that, and Clyde couldn’t help but smile back.

15 minutes of fun filled sand castle making later, Lynn Sr. and Rita began calling out to their children. “All right, everybody, time to head home! Make sure you haven’t missed anything!”

Pretty soon, everyone was gathering, with different moods and feelings.

“I can’t believe we won!”, Leni cheered, held aloft by Fiona and Miguel as they marched down the beach.

Fiona chuckled. “Well, only be default. But still! We won a game!”

Miguel whoop whooped, and the trio laughed, though deep down Fiona still felt bad.

She had gotten so angry again. Why was she so angry all the time?

And why did it hurt when Leni and Miguel soon left to their cars?

Meanwhile, Luna and Sam finally let go of each other’s hands.

“Wanna… Do this again, but somewhere else, and less…”, Luna started, but Sam finished.

“Awkward? It won’t be.”

For a moment, they felt like kissing, but instead they just hugged, with soft blushes.

“…Bye Sunny. Take care.”

Sam grinned. She knew what it really meant.

“…Love ya too, Moon.”

Lynn, meanwhile, was still holding Lily when Lynn Sr. approached.

“Ooh, L.J, I am so proud of you! You took care of Lily all day! You can give her back to me now.”, Lynn Sr. congratulated, but instead, Lynn moved away.

“You know… I think that I owe Lily a little more play time. She can stay next to me.”

“Well, she needs to because of her seat, I just wanted a hug, but sure!”, Lynn Sr. said, and he walked off, while Lynn booped Lily’s nose, making her laugh.

Suddenly, Clyde appeared next to Lynn. “Well, I gotta go! My parents will start to rotate heart attacks if I don’t get to the car soon!”

Lynn smiled and waved, before getting a sneaky look.

She put a hand on Clyde’s shoulder and blushed a little bit.

“I… I just wanted to say thanks for being such a cool guy today.”

Clyde blushed too. “Ah, you’re welcome!”

Lynn moved closer to him suddenly…

And punched his shoulder twice.

“You the man, Clydesdale!”

Lynn skipped off and Clyde rubbed his arm, hurt.

Only then…

Lynn, darting her eyes side to side, and seeing that no one was concentrating, jogged back and on her tip toes, gave Clyde a kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks…”, she whispered, and she ran back, hoping no one saw her blush while Clyde collapsed on the beach floor.

Meanwhile meanwhile, as Lola and Lana bid farewell to their shared sandcastle and happily waked to Vanzilla, Lisa and Lucy were deep in conversation.

“So, if Cthulhu and the Multiverse are true, who knows what else?”, Lisa enthused, excited at all the possibilities.

“Perhaps I could find some ghosts…”, Lucy wondered out loud, liking that idea.

“Multiverse theory states that practically all is possible! What wonders could I discover?”, Lisa chimed in.

“Well, I would be happy to help, if it means I get to see some really scary stuff…”, Lucy offered, smiling.

Lisa nodded. “Sure thing, spooky sibling!”

Lincoln, meanwhile, was saying goodbye to Ronnie Anne. They had enjoyed their surfing greatly (though the conversation with Lori was still hanging over Lincoln’s head) and were now happily hugging (a new custom of theirs since Ronnie Anne’s move).

“Thanks for the fun, Ronnie Anne! I hope I’ll see ya again soon!”, Lincoln said, smiling brightly.

“Me too, Lame-O!”, Ronnie Anne called, and they waved goodbye.

And once again, Ronnie Anne cursed herself. 

Deep down, she wished she could.

But she would never admit that she wanted to maybe perhaps date Lincoln.

Oh well…

“Maybe one day…”, she thought, smiling shyly.

As Lincoln re-joined the group, he noticed something odd.

In his bag (the one which had contained his surfboard) there was a box.

In fact…

It was a gift.

“Weird…”, Lincoln commented, but he wasn’t about to say no to free presents!

He tore open the wrapping paper very delicately (“You should start slowly, until it unwraps from all sides all neat like! It’s real relaxing!”), and it soon revealed…

“The Dapper Deck?!”, Lincoln cried out in astonishment and amazement, his eyes wide. “That’s, like, the coolest magic deck there is!”

Lincoln was overjoyed! The beautifully designed box held way to hours of magical joy! All the tricks he could perform just with these!

But…

There was one thing he didn’t get: Who sent him the gift?

Suddenly, Lincoln noticed a card attached, white all over, with a drawing of a mother holding her baby on it.

Lincoln rolled his eyes at the hallmark schmaltz but he did read the inscription, which said “Dear Lincoln. I heard you didn’t have the bestest day possible. To make it up to you, I bought you this. It’s the least you deserve, but unfortunately, my card doesn’t cover the earth price range. Love, Mom.”

Lincoln couldn’t help but grin widely, and he soon hugged his mother.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, he cried, while his mother nodded at Lori, who seemed to have run a marathon.

“Why, of course sweetie!”, Rita said, and she kissed her son on the forehead, as Lori entered the car, feeling guilty for even existing.

The sun had set on a beautiful day, and soon, all the louds were in the car.

Well, almost.

See, Lincoln and Lynn had made the innocent mistake of staying out too long to look at the stars for a second and…

“HA! I’VE GOT YOU!”, Luan suddenly screamed, emerging from thin air and juggling the two all the way down to the exact spot where the cannon was.

“Luan? What are you doing?!”, Lincoln and Lynn shouted, but those shouts fell on deaf ears as Luan suddenly had them dressed as clowns. Thrown up into the air, Lincoln and Lynn somehow got stuffed in the cannon perfectly, with not a single scratch.

“I’m annoyed, but also impressed.”, Lynn observed, and Lincoln nodded in agreement, his face pressed into her elbow.

Luan, meanwile, lighted the fuse by kicking a lighter from one foot to the next and then holding it with her teeth, before backflipping in, plugging her ears and closing her eyes, grinning in anticipation. When the fuse finally burned down, the clogged-up cannon spectacularly exploded, blasting the siblings off into the sky at lightning speed, where they vanished with a twinkle.

They soared high above the ocean for a bit, its sparkling waves offering quite the nice backdrop, which allowed Lincoln to make an astute observation: “I think we shouldn’t have stayed outside”. 

Lynn nodded, agreeing.

Suddenly, they began to descend, seemingly crashing into the water.

“I can’t watch!”, Lincoln cried, and he and Lynn huddled in fear, but Luan just laughed as they all flew right into a whale's mouth and got swallowed. 

In the whale's stomach, the three drawfed by its mammoth tongue and mouth features, Lincoln and Lynn looked at Luan not with anger but with resignation. “No one wanted to do your gag, huh?”, Lincoln asked dryly, as he continuously flicked one of the whale’s teeth.

“Nope!”, Luan answered cheerfully, seemingly not noticing that her plan had one major flaw.

“And you’ve planned all this?”, Lincoln asked again, cleaning some sand from his eyes.

“All of it! Any minute now, the whale shoots us out of the blowhole and onto a mountain!”, Luan explained, getting herself ready.

“And if we, oh, I don’t know, die?!”, Lynn asked outraged, arms outstretched, which dropped her clown wig.

Luan began to answer, only then to consider the statement and…

“…Ooops.”

The blowhole, as planned, hurtled them out and after a few moments of soaring through the sky, they landed on a hole at the top of a snowy mountain.

At first, it was too dark to see and they had no idea where they really were. Sure, their hands could feel the cold white snow, but other than that, nothing. Then, it started glowing brighter and glowing hotter, and they realized they're in a…

“Volcano!”, Lynn screamed, and the three siblings cuddled in fear (though Luan for some reason wiggled her eyebrows knowingly) as the volcano erupted, blasting them high into the sky where they again vanished with a twinkle. 

Opening his eyes, Lincoln realized that against all logic and reason, he was surrounded by stars and vacuum. Somehow, they all ended up in space.

“…Ok, how are we even alive? Did you plan this as well?!”, he asked, incredulous.

Luan nodded excitedly and pointed back at earth.

“Why? What’s there to see and we’re falling back, aren’t we?”, Lincoln said dryly, and soon, they were shooting stars, hurtling back to earth.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family got into the car ready to go home.

“Welp, just gotta make sure we’re all here! Roll call!”

Everyone raised their hands and Lynn Sr. counted.

“…Wait a minute, three are missing, WHERE are Lincoln, Lynn and Luan?!”, he screamed, panicking.

But before they could all have a collective heart attack, a comet of the three siblings shot down from the sky, crashing into Vanzilla, covered in soot.

Luan had only one thing to say: “And we stuck a perfect landing! IT COULDN’T HAVE GONE BETTER!”

She laughed maniacally and sighed contently. “Sweet comic relief…”

Post Credits scene:

Somewhere, in a different part of the multiverse, Cthulhu was being held by scarily advanced science.

The figure below him, who had managed to do this, clapped the dust off his hands, smiling cockily.

“I hoped you’d be more of a challenge! Can no one give me a real workout?” the 13 year old bragged, laughing.

Going back into his hover car, the hero hooked Cthulhu on and began to drive back to his HQ.

“But I wonder… How it got here?”, he asked himself, as he hummed Bowling For Soup to himself.

“Oh well… Gotta blast!”

TO BE CONTINUED…


End file.
